to say something

[221bbakerstreet]

Last night I went out with a group of collegues as some are leaving at the end of the month.

Just before I left, one of the men turned to me and said 'I just had an urge to slap your arse.' I replied 'If you did I would have slapped you.'. He was shocked and said 'Really?'and I replied 'Yes, you don't touch me.' He looked ... affronted.

Now, being a worrier, I am overthinking what happened. Should I mention something tomorrow? I don't regret what I said but I do have to work with him. So WIBU to say something?

I don't think you should mention it again, you responded really well and rightly got your point across - hopefully he is now very embarrassed and won't want it mentioned again. I personally would say nothing to other colleagues or him unless it is brought up by someone else. Unless of course he has form for horrible comments?

Say nothing, he ought to apologise to you. He will probably not mention it and if I were you I would forget it. You

No need for anything more to be said. Breeze in, nods and smiles as per usual. If he has any sense, he'll remember that he's bound by the company's conduct when on a work-based outing so could face disciplinary action for what he said.

Write an account of the incident in your diary with date, time, name of those present, just in case.

I agree, you've dealt with it and if he does become inappropriate again then is the time to raise the stakes.

Don't mention it. The weasel was put in his place.

So,the stupid dick thinks he is the cock of the town by saying he would like to assault you, you in no means terms told him not to and you think you overstepped the mark? I don't think so. He should apologise.

Don't mention it. Brilliantly done! A trainee medic once groped my boob so I slapped him, threw my drink on his head and left him standing, speechless.

Think you've already dealt with it tbh, so unless he starts behaving like a Dick towards you at work as well then I'd leave it.
You would hope he'll just feel embarrassed about being rebuffed if that's the kind of thing he says to show his interest in someone .

Well done, you dealt with it really well. Stupid bloke! Don't think about it anymore, he ought to be embarrassed.

Don't even think about it again.

However, if he does bring it up - in any capacity - I think a brisk 'Any further reference to how you considered sexually assaulting me, and I'll be passing this discussion over to both our work superiors and the police' should just about cover it.

Little worm.

Gross. Did he think that would impress you?

Good for you for saying something and not just nervously laughing like I would have.

Well done OP.

A man on a station platform tried to chat me up one morning. 'I saw you yesterday and was going to kiss you.' 'Really? Because I'd have punched you for that.'

I think BrunoBrooks' reference to reporting him to the police is OTT, but no harm in reminding him of the employment consequences of his bad behaviour. I'd say nothing tomorrow.

I'm like you in that I would also worry about this kind of thing. But, as the others have said you handled yourself really well. Hopefully he will be embarrassed in the morning. When you go back to work walk with self respect, dignity and friendliness with a humane assumption that he is embarrassed unless he proves himself really be an ass and not just to have made a mistake.

What a charmer. Good on you OP, I think you made yourself quite clear!

Don't give it a second thought unless he tries his dreadful attempt to chat you up / sleaze again, then be just as direct again and tell him you'll escalate it to HR (if at work) or elsewhere if not.

I think you handled it perfectly. It doesn't seem to have even occurred to him that a slap on the bum wouldn't be welcome, so hopefully your response might have made him think.

If he brings it up at work, and obviously doesn't feel like he did anything wrong, ask him how he would feel if someone bigger than him and stronger than him, in whom he had no interest, had thought it acceptable to touch him in a sexual manner, and then ask him why it's ok for him to do that to someone else.

Thanks guys.

I don't think he realised that he was out of line, he said a few times 'I only said I felt like it'. Obviously I should have been grateful . I'm usually very quiet so prehaps I shocked him.

Ironically, having just read the 'Everyday Sexism' book, on my way to the meal I was thinking how lucky I was to have never had a man say something totally innapropriate to me.