To have felt really sad in the changing rooms yesterday

[Happybeard]

Waiting for my dsd who was trying on everything in the shop I sat next to a woman whose daughter was also trying things on. Mother and daughter were both over weight although the daughter less so. Every time the daughter emerged in the next outfit saying "what about this?" Hopefully. her mum would look up with a blank face, look the girl up and down and say "nah" flatly then look back at her phone. The girl looked so deflated every time. I know it's not the abuse of the century but I can't get it out of my head. It seemed so cruel

Ah / it's hard sometimes people don't realise how cutting they are been - how old was the girl x

I think you're overreacting

She was about 14 I'd say. Maybe I'm soft but I was trying to come up with "ooh that's a great colour on you but not sure about the neckline" type comments for dsd. And this woman just seemed like she didn't care about her daughters self esteem whatsoever.

I was a very self conscious teen so maybe I'm judging the whole thing from my own perspective

I don't think you are overreacting at all. I saw the same once with an adult daughter and her mum- the mum was looking after a little one while the daughter tried on dresses for a ball- the mum was just not interested- so I chipped in with my opinions - couldn't help myself.

I really wish I'd done that now nish! I almost did but I didn't want to embarrass the girl

Maybe the child had tried on every nit of clothing in every shop and the mum had had enough? Why comment on thdir weight?

They might have been traipsing round the shops since 9am?
It might have been the 2556 outfit the DD had tried on!

Blimey don't feel sad about stiff like that.

I commented on the weight because the girl looked self conscious enough as it was and mum being overweight too is expect her to understand the girl might need an extra boost or something.

Maybe it was the 5000th dress she'd tried on. But then it was for us too!

It was actually about 10.30 come to think of it

Yes but happy you are perfect!

Not quite LEM

I've got a teeange ds.

Going clothes shopping with him can be tortuous. We start off laughing and jovial but by the 13th shop looking at exactly the same stuff as all the other 12 shops I have a slapped arse face I guess!

Going shopping with teen daughters is a minefield you need to work out your strategy

Going shopping with teen daughters is a minefield you need to work out your strategy

Posted too soon maybe the girl is fussy maybe this was the 5th weekend of shopping maybe she is a stroppy mare and saying more than nah would set her off, I get what your saying though some parents just ignore their children sadly

Going clothes shopping with him can be tortuous. We start off laughing and jovial but by the 13th shop looking at exactly the same stuff as all the other 12 shops I have a slapped arse face I guess!

^^^ this with bells on!!

My dds habit was then wanting to go back to the first shop and try on done thing else she'd seen

By then I was just plain stabby!!

My mum does this when I go shopping with her. It is the reason she is the only person I will clothes shop with.

I think I was a bit more touchy about it when I was 14 though.

I hate clothes shopping. I hated it as a child teen and my mum would make me try stuff on in the shop. But she couldnt make me try on a smile so i sported a slapped arse face and plodded in and out of the changing rooms. Bet that was really fun for my mum!

Not everyone likes shopping but sometimes it's unavoidable, maybe this mum is one of them who really hates it (i cant cope with the crowds, i get hot and cant breathe properly) and just needed to be elsewhere. Maybe she was just having an awful day. Maybe they'd had a bug row beforehand and she was struggling to be enthusiastic about a cheeky daughter's crap clothes choices that she would have to pay for.

It depends on their relationship.

For some 14yr old girls, their Mum saying 'no' is perfectly acceptable...they get that there's no more to be said (especially if they've been shopping for ages).

For other 14yr old girls, a simple 'no' might be too short and they would want an explanation.

You may have read the 'deflated' look wrong...she might just be tired and fed up.

At 14 I could see through the "it's lovely, but" comments. I would much prefer a yes or no. I could of at the age spent a month trying on clothes before parting with my meagre clothes allowance.

when I go shopping with my 16 yr old I just give her a look or a scrunchy face if I dont like somwthing im never really critical of what she wears so she knows if I give her a face then it doesnt suit her, id rather chew my arm off than go with dd1 though she has always been a nightmare to get clothes for

I can see where you're coming from, but I bet it was one of those situations where you've missed the beginning of the day that maybe went badly or something! You never know, she might have called her mum fat in the last shop

Like on Friday, I had my charge walking next to the buggy. She knows the rules, walk nicely and close to me or you have to get in the pram. She had been warned several times for being silly by the road but still carried on, so she got put in the pram. Walking along the street, she turned to me shouting 'let me walk!' To which I just replied 'no' with a look of 'you know why, it's not up for discussion'. She screamed and a lady walking past gave me a very judgemental look - but I can see why just from the snippet encounter she had witnessed!

I shop online for the dcs.
When we have to get occasion wear, I look online and have a very good idea about the stuff I think will do and then we are in and out like butter off a hot knife.

Luckily I know what looks good, and which colour suits, and my budget.

My mum made all our clothes, and I can make my own, so I know a lot about fabrics, cut, texture and fit.. I love couture.

I think it's difficult if the child is overweight/ obese as very few clothes suit, or fit right, and, as it's hot in change rooms, they were probably sweating and feeling dehydrated.

OP I wouldn't feel sad, but the mum probably had low self esteem issues too.

That's true nannynoss, people only see a small snapshot of your life.

Dd1 told me last night that she was going to an all day wedding in september would I go shopping with her I said of course dear but a little bit of me died inside