To have sudden terror and major cold feet about the VBAC I've been fighting for for months?

[Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses]

Paralysed with fear.

Been planning a WVBAC for months now. Hassled all number of people, my hospital isn't v vbac friendly so I've really had to fight for it. Even DH has almost had enough of hearing about it.

I've done endless research, jumped through every hoop the nhs owns, and have been so determined to avoid another section.

HOWEVER at 39 weeks I am now suddenly absolutely petrified and have serious cold feet. Feel like I'm being totally unreasonable, irrational, and weak minded.

Help? Anyone else been through this?

(Apologies if this is in the wrong place - I'm new here)

you might find people kinder in chat

personally i've had three children i've always dreaded giving birth no matter what the circumstances i've wanted to stay pregnant for 20 years rather than go through that again but i say it again i've had THREE children it's fine it all works out in the end xxx

I did this, exactly this. In the end, things moved too quickly for my wbac, but I did have a vbac. It was fine. You will be fine.

I think doubt is normal.

What does the 'w' stand for? I had a home VBAC, had to fight for it, and all went fine.

Water.

I just feel like I'm pursuing this for my own selfish feelings. What if it all goes wrong? I totally lost control and had no help from the crap midwife last time, I panicked and it was awful. It's like I'd forgotten all about it until this week when it's all come rushing back. I'm almost having flashbacks to the first birth, although I know that sounds very melodramatic.

plus that natural birth thread hasn't helped

Yes I had to be a little strong willed to get a VBA2C - read up on Nice guideline s etc and like you started to wonder if I was doing the right thing as it got closer. I will admit to being slightly relieved that dd was breech so a 3rd c section was the safest choice in the end!

You could try classes like lazy daisy or hypnobirthing to try and relax?

Yes - not a VBAC but a home birth. In the end had my second DC in hospital (my first was at home and it didn't go to plan although all was fine in the end).

There was a tiny bit of doubt in my mind and I didn't trust my body could labour properly. All being said though it was a doddle and could have been fine at home!

My best friend and my SIL both had VBACs, and both of them said how easy it was despite their fears, and how much faster they were able to get around compared to after a CS.
It is a terrifying thought, but I recommend it if you feel you can. Very, very best of luck, whatever you decide

I've had two natural births so can't comment personally on the same experience. However I know two people who have had a VBAC and they were absolutely fine. I also know that I was EXTREMELY grateful to have natural births as, even though it was horrible at the time, your body really does just take over and deal with it, and afterwards I was up and about in no time. I was the opposite to you - absolutely terrified of the prospect of a c-section should the need arise.

I think it's natural to be anxious but just trust that your body will do what it needs to do when the time comes.

It is fine to change your mind!

in many areas VBAC is actively encouraged. nothing at all selfish about choosing it. But nothing wrong with C-section either!

(I tried for vbac, didn't work out and had unplanned section, but all was fine).

I was the same. Fought for a vbac. Heart set on it. When my waters broke at bang on 37weeks I panicked. I was gripped with fear but my consultant, DH and a midwife calmed me down. I was frightened of history repeating itself and the vulnerability and terror of labour and another emcs.

I had a 3 day labour and emcs! It was a brilliant experience actually. Positive and lovely.

I had a vbac a year ago after a emsc 5 years ealier. It was lovely, I understand that natural births a great etc but I enjoyed every minute of tge vbac.

I cocked that up, meant to say if id had two natural births. sod it. I'm going to bed.

I had an awful experience with baby number 1 which ended in an emergency c section. For a variety of quite frankly bonkers reasons I felt a complete failure (don't anymore, but did at the time). Desparately wanted a "normal" birth with no. 2. Hospital fabulous and very supportive. However, DS refused to play ball, I went to 42 weeks with no sign of the little cherub putting in an appearance so I ended up having to have an elective because I couldn't be induced. Just as well as he weighed 5kg! The point of all of this is I thought I would feel useless if I didn't give birth normally, but do you know what I don't. I have two fab kids and who cares how they entered the world. 100 years ago neither me or DD would have survived her birth. I know exactly why you want a VBAC because I did to, but in the end for me it actually didn't matter. I hope it works out for you, but don't worry if it doesn't.

I had a successful vbac.

midwife really pushed me to go for the vbac. I wasn't so sure, but decided to give it a go about a week before I was due!!

I was scared, but I knew I was being closely monitored. I did end up with ventouse. I guess I'm glad I gave it a chance.

I had a vbac with ds. It was the best thing I ever did. Wonderful experience.

You've got cold feet because you have a choice. So you're thinking 'hmmm c-section could be safer/easier/more likely to work'. Don't worry about it (easier said than done!). I felt the same - it went beautifully and I had 2 subsequent vbacs and still had the horrible doubt. I hope you get your wvbac, it sounds lovely!

I hesitate to give a negative but in my case I had the section and my scar tissue was found to be extremely thin - it would almost certainly have ruptured if my vba2c had gone ahead.

Calm. Calm. Calm. No point panicking.

A friend of mine had a VBAC at home (in a country where home births are like hens' teeth) and all went absolutely fine.

The cold feet are probably the result of realising that you have taken responsibility for this birth: as Stripeyfeet said, you've made a choice - and that's quite a scary thing to do in the context of childbirth.

Whatever you decide, I hope it feels right for you and goes really well.

I have had 6 kids, no CS, and I was shitting myself in no small way before all of their births!

Its the fear of the unknown. Even when you have done it before, it is frightening because you are doing something that is unpredicatable. Thats why we make birth plans, in the vain hope that we can control it, make order out of chaos!

The best advice I can give you is to be open minded. Take it as it comes, dont expect perfection and be proud that, however it happens, you have created a new life :)

I had a vbac after a emcs. Unlike you I was determined that the only way I would have another child would be an elcs. Couldn't bear the thought of going into labour and it going wrong again. Then half way through the pregnancy I just changed my mind. I don't know why. In the end I was glad I did. I had a natural birth in about two hours straight and dc2 came out quickly and easily. It was a different sort of pain to the emcs. And I couldn't believe how brilliant I felt afterwards. Was up and about perfectly well, unlike after the cs where I could hardly move for a fortnight and couldn't drive for a month. Especially with a toddler in tow.

I really hope it goes well for you. It's only natural to be scared. Just make sure every single person there is completely aware of your fears and why it went wrong last time and it should all go smoothly. Good luck.

Are you/ could you take another supporter to help you work through your fears at the time (if you want to)? A doula would be the obvious thing, might be worth looking into. Or a good friend who has birthed themselves and knows you well? You can talk them through how you respond to fear etc and how you'd like to be supported.

I think whether you have someone in the room that knows you and can help you work through your feelings is v important. Sometimes you luck out with a midwife that reads you well and can do this, if not you need your own person for this Nd not all DHs are that person (never done it, too involved, etc!)

Good luck whatever you decide

Thank you very much everyone :)

Dougal my DH is NOT really that person..... he does try but the whole emotional thing doesn't really come naturally to him. He'd do anything to make me feel better but he'd have to be told first or the right things might not occur to him. No one else I would really take though, no one who lives near enough anyway.

I'm having a catheter and continuous monitoring so hopefully that will keep an eye on the scar. Scar has almost disappeared though, don't know if that means its healed well?

I've never been so scared.....I just remember the terror and panic of the first one so vividly. But what will be will be and at least the plan is to be in hospital so there should be plenty of backup.

*cannula!

Hopefully no catheter...!