Hi everyone
I could potentially make this a very long post so will try to be as brief as possible!
My DS is in year 2 and has been bullied by one boy in particular since reception. The bullying extended outside of school to Cubs and football club so have moved DS to groups further away.
He is starting at a new school in September. This boy is known to be horrible to a lot of children but my DS is definitely his main target. I suppose you could describe by DS as "sensitive." He's shy, very conscientious, he's not typically "boyish" and has been teased since reception for not liking football or playing "boys" games etc. He reminds me a lot of my brother when he was very young. My parents used to worry that he would struggle making friends etc but he turned out absolutely fine and if anything had a better social life than I did by his teens and I was always the louder child!
DH worries about him a bit but I try not to for now. He does have a very mature head on his shoulders and I sometimes worry that he is already too much of a worrier at a young age but I will see how he gets on at his new school and not panic unduly.
So anyway this boy- let's call him Sam- has teased DS from the first day of school. He is a difficult pupil for his teachers and they have called his mum in on numerous occasions to discuss his behaviour and how he treats other children. As I say he's pretty awful to a lot of the children but particularly mean to DS. One thing he does repeatedly is ask him if he's adopted because he's "such a freak" and my DD (in Reception) is "normal." "Why aren't you normal like your sister?" 2 weeks ago he found my DD in the playground and told her he was going to get my DS and flush his head down the toilet then lock him in. He also pesters DD asking if DS is adopted, tells DD that he's gay because he "has his ear pierced"( he has a small freckle just wear a pierced ear hole would be and it's something he's been teased about for ages by "Sam".) He once found a pink mini-mouse hair clip on the floor and put it in my DS hair without him noticing then went round shouting "HAHA DS is wearing a hairclip he's so gay." Luckily the classroom assistant witnessed this but he's done a similar things on a few occasions where he has deliberately tried to make a mockery of him. (In year 1 he pulled down his trousers and pants then told the teacher on duty that DS was "showing people his willy")...the list goes on really but he is really an unpleasant child and the teachers have done all they can. They get complaints from parents on a weekly basis but his mother seems to refuse to acknowledge his behaviour. It's known that she had tried for years to have a baby but was told her chances were second to none so she had given up hope when she fell pregnant at 37- lovely story..but now the golden child can do no wrong.
Anyway yesterday was DS' birthday. We went to Tesco the night before and bought those little bags of Haribo for each child. There are 24 in his class including him, so I bought 25 so I could give one to DD. He hands out the packets but is 2 short. I later found out that DD had nabbed a couple of packets the night before. Unfortunately, the last 2 children that DS got to were Sam and his friend. The teacher told me that DS looked utterly terrified when he realised he had run out and that Sam wouldn't get any. He apologised to Sam and friend and said that he must have left the 2 packets at home. His teacher said that it was obviously a mistake and that DS would not deliberately leave anyone out and said perhaps he would find the 2 extra packets over the weekend and bring them in on Monday for Sam and friend.
When the teacher's back was turned Sam walked past DS, kicked the back of his chair then hit him around the head and hissed at him that he's "such a weirdo."
5.30pm yesterday evening and I get a phone call from an extremely angry mother. Sam's mum was livid that his DS hadn't received a bag of sweets. I assured her that it was in no way deliberate and explained how my DD had taken the packets the night before (which she has been told off for!) I said it was unfortunate that Sam's table was the last that DS got to but that I would give him 2 more packets to take in on Monday. She continued to shout down the phone and said that it was nasty and unfair to "treat a child like that" and "of course he's going to be upset if everyone else is given sweets expect him- accusing me of deliberately telling DS to not give any to her DS. I was so shocked that I didn't really know what to say. Part of me wanted to give her a right earful back but I just want DS to get to the end of term as smoothly as possible. DH thinks I should have it out with her once term has ended and let her know exactly what I think of her and her precious DS but I'm not sure if that's a bit childish.
I appreciate it was unfortunate and I should have been sensible and counted the sweets that morning just to make sure. But after all her DS has done to my DS over the years...and she has the audacity to be livid because DS, through no fault of his own, was unable to give him any sweets...I was just so upset for DS and angry at how this woman had spoken to me. What would you do? I just can't decide how to react to this.