To be livid

[lalala2]

My ex, DDs (3yr) dad has just brought his new girlfriend to my house, they are only together a couple of months and he has been telling me throughout the relationship how unsure he is about her etc.

I'm honestly absolutely sick to my stomach, he knows I'm not even close to allowing him introduce her to DD because of his uncertainty and his disregard for DD of late.

Please tell me am I being unreasonable, I honestly don't think so. I had thought we had a fairly respectful Co parenting relationship but this feels like such a kick in the face.

I really feel for you, that must be very difficult because you are trying to look our for your Dd and it seems as though he isn't. What do you think he will say when you speak to him about it?

Have I got this right he came to pick up/drop off your daughter with his new partner? If this is all it is - yabu. I agrre it might be a bit unthinking to bring her round your house, but you didn't have to ask in your home.

nless there's a massive backstory I think yabu to talk of allowing him to introduce her. He is her parent too soshould hhave input into who your daughter is introduced to.

I'm assuming from what you've written OP that you have talked about this sort of subject before and agreed that it wasn't a good idea to introduce your young dd to people that you weren't sure of?

He could have at least discussed it with you and given you amble warning/time he was going to do this. You have my sympathy my ex once turned up unannounced to my house with his ex one night stand and their child whom I had never met both of before. He wasn't even their to collect our ds. I was like a rabbit in headlights but remained polite to her.
It's kind of disrespectful to put you on the spot like that yanbu.

The back story is really just that he has been an absolute nightmare since we broke up a year ago. Not showing up for DD, leaving her absolutely devastated, arriving stinking of drink coming straight from parties and nights out, constantly trying to get out of seeing her the small amount he does.
When he met this girl I had hoped that he would calm down and he has calmed down on the drink anyway butis trying to get out of his time with DD more than ever.

One week he was telling me the relationship wouldn't last and listing all his complaints about her and the very next week he wanted to introduce them. I completely understand that he's her father and it shouldn't be a case of "allowing" him to do or not to anything but he has honestly given me no choice because his actions have been so wreckless and believe it or not I'm honestly not a bitter ex, I just want the best for my DD.

After he originally asked to introduce them I said but you said it wasn't going to last etc and asked him to wait a while until he was sure because I don't want DD introduced to just anybody.

I just feel sick at his total disregard for my feelings and wishes when I have done absolutely everything to be fair to him and to be respectful of his relationship, changing all my own plans so he didn't have to take DD on the girlfriends birthday etc.

Why are you listening to all his complaints about her? You really need to set some boundaries!

YANBU