AIBU to think I am going to get fired?

[Croissant7]

I don't even know where to start because there is so much background to this situation.

The bottom line is that I love my work- I enjoy it, I know I am good at it and I want to keep doing it. Unfortunately, my boss is a nightmare who has made it impossible for me to work in peace.

It's come to a point where I am suffering from severe anxiety. I get cold sweats when she returns to her desk because I know she will start bullying or nagging me over something.

I've stopped eating and I'm down to one meal a day because work is so stressful. I've started smoking because I can't deal with the anxiety and insecurity.

She openly smirks at me, rolls her eyes at me, texts while I am trying to talk to her about something urgent and criticises me even for things that are not work-related. She'll roll her eyes at me and make me feel incredibly small while I am talking. She forgets what I say and then develops her own 'version' of things. When I am explaining an issue to her, she'll cut me short and deliberately look confused and irritated and then she asks me to repeat stuff. I hear comments like "I have no idea what you're talking about to be honest", even when I know that she is familiar with the issue because she recognises it when other colleagues bring it up.This makes me feel less and less confident about expressing myself.

Her latest is that I make 'excuses'. There have been occasions where I have been blamed for something that hasn't been my fault or something that was non-urgent and had a valid reason for not getting completed. When I explain or defend myself, she laughs (yes, laughs in a really nasty manner) and smirks and gives me this really derisive look and goes "Please spare me. I have no patience with excuses and you seem to be making them all the time".
The other day she insisted I had not completed a piece of work even thought I had evidence that I had- she did her laugh and smirk thing. Turns out she was looking at something another person was responsible for. Instead of admitting her mistake, she still found a way to blame me.

She's overloaded me with work. I am responsible for an entire department's work alone. In addition to this, I am being forced to take on ad hoc tasks and train on new stuff as well. I am also expected to run around and do secretarial things for her. There is never a mention of the good stuff and the multitasking I've been doing, only constant criticism over the occasional minor/non-urgent task that is put on the back burner on a busy day.

She blamed me for being a poor communicator when I was being yelled at and spoken to rudely by a colleague (this colleague was not told off). I was called "aggressive" for simply standing up for myself and walking away from the unpleasantness. I have made an effort with my team mates and I get along with all of them now -even the one who was rude to me. BUT this issue is brought up by her in every meeting we have and she keeps blaming me for it and insists she doesn't see 'improvement' effectively ignoring the fact that I am actually getting along very well with most people.

There are colleagues who are leaving the team because of her even though she is nowhere as awful to them as she is to me.

I do not want to leave this job because of her

I also don't have a way at this point to really switch jobs.

Given how she is acting, I naturally feel that she wants to get rid of me.

I have not completed 2 years with this company

Can someone please enlighten me on my rights? Can I be fired just because my boss absolutely hates me? Even if I am getting good feedback for my performance at work from other, more senior sources?

What are my options for dealing with this if I stay with the company? HR? Speak to my boss's boss? Can I get fired for complaining about her?

Please help me out here.

I haven't slept all night and it's the weekend.

I had one of those. When 360 appraisal time came she was fucked.
How long have you been putting up with this?

However, I assume this woman will also be doing your appraisal. So its time to act.

Document daily on what she's done/ said. Lose the emotion when doing it. Email it to your home address and a copy at work. Start now and go back as far as you can remember. Dates and facts. Witnesses. Don't start from now and wait to get evidence.

If she moans about something then do as pp say and follow up with an email. Document her behaviour. If she says she doesn't want an email, just do it anyway and send to yourself.

If you get good feedback from other senior managers ask them to email it to you " for use in your appraisal" and also evidence with HR etc you aren't a liar.

Who says they are friends? Doesn't matter anyway, and don't say that as it could be just rubbish also if they don't do anything or don't support you they will be in the shit too. iStraight to them, no emotion, facts, document the meeting as you go in front of them. See this manager then go to HR, say you are following x process and trust her manager to address the issue, but wanted them to know as you are suffering from stress.

What will happen- she won't get sacked on the spot. She will have a chance to behave better etc. maybe she will get a warning and carry on as before.

You can do the above or start to look for a new job within the company or outside. I would anyway tbh, its going to be crap whatever happens. Also, mention to her boss you find her v difficult and what are you going to do about a reference? Ask him for one and get him to email it to you.

Also, go to the doctors and add that to your list. HR have a duty of care and tbh I'd be straight in there. Just be professional. And don't discuss with the office first.

You have to document everything 'bullying' because it backs up what you said if you also document who was there at the time, but putting all your work in writing means that when the appraisal comes around and she says 'you don't do X or Y' you can say 'in what context as I follow up each meeting with an email confirming my understanding, and I complete all tasks before the due date and when you give me more work than can be managed in the time I am at work, I ask you to confirm which takes priority - I put it in writing so that I can refer to written instructions so that nothing is confused'.

With bullies, you almost have to be braver than you ever thought you could be; my recommendation is each time you are bullied, you get your diary out, lick your pencil, look at your watch, open the diary to today's date, and write the time, who is in the room and the exact words that have been spoken. If the bully asks what you are doing you say 'I have been advised to record every incident of bullying' and say no more. They get away with it because they don't think you are as clever as they are, so you have to pretend that you have taken official advice about this and this also lets them know that you do consider it bullying, and it gives them a chance to knock it on the head before it goes further.

The worst that can happen is as you expected, you get sacked. But then you will have a full portfolio of evidence then to go back to HR with to prove the bullying was happening and to maybe secure a compromise agreement payout to make you go quietly.

I'm fairly sure you have protected employment rights after 1 year!
It sounds awful! If others are leaving I'd be fairly sure HR know so I'd agree with others. Document everything and raise a grievance with HR. I'd avoid going over her head until you've tried the HR route!
Good luck

But it's not been a year :( It's been a little over 8 months, almost nine.

I was under the impression that we can't claim unfair dismissal unless we've been with the company for 2 years.

I'm fairly sure you have protected employment rights after 1 year!

No, it is two years now unless it is because of a protected characteristic [race, religion, gender, union rep, whistleblowing etc].

i agree with funkyboldribena.

as hard as that is to do, put yourself on auto pilot and write things down in front of her.

go buy your logbook today!

be brave. be strong. bullies pick targets who they know won't stand up to them. show her just how wrong she is.

To be honest, it would have been better to start this when she was picking up on non work things; so if you can also note down some of the things she has said in the past now, even if you haven't got the date and time etc, just for the record.

It had been 1year for a while. >sigh<

I'm pretty sure the original rationale for lowering from two years to one was to make life fairer on women workers, as there's more chopping/changing in more women's careers than men's.

So why the reversal of that policy? Did things magically get more equal and I just didn't spot it?

Yeah the Tories came into power. Nuff said.

Just to add as well as bullying keep a record of all queries on all extra work talks tasks and all feedback regarding talks to available time... Basically as much as possible keep a record of what you doing and what she is asking you to do plus feedback on standards in email. Email is your friend (stops he said she said type debates)

I know you love your job, but you have to leave. She's not going to magically vanish, and while it's bloody unfair - that's work, unfortunately. But I would document everything, join a union if at all possible, raise your concerns with HR (who aren't likely to be much help but it will at least slow things down giving you longer to find a job to go to) and leave leaflets on constructive dismissal on your desk!

Hi OP. Do you have a reasonably slim smartphone? If so, you need to be recording everything this woman says to you.

In Vaughan v. Lambeth Borough Council (2013) the court held that secretly recording a bullying employer, while distasteful, was not unlawful, and was admissible if independently transcribed.

Get her actually abusing you on several occasions and if you take the tapes to the union, quoting the case above, you should be then able to start a grievance on solid ground.

m.acas.org.uk/

Speak to ACAS & see what they say.

You need to check employment T&Cs before you secretly record: some companies have now made it part of the employment contract that to do so would be gross misconduct.

Allowing them to fire you while sidestepping any evidence the recording might have produced.

It's almost as though they're planning how to get away with unfair practice...

Have you posted before-several times, under different names- about bullying in the workplace?

Document document document

If she asks you to do something send an email back to her
In our conversation this morning you asked me to do xyz. I explained that I'm am currently completing 123, please confirm that I should stop working on 123 and concentrate on xyz.

You also stated you want this done by yesterday, this is not a achievable timeline. . .

I'd be wary of recording, though very tempted.

I used the above with a colleague who tried to do everything to stop putting anything in writing, phone, IMs etc.

Every contact was then emailed back with a 'please confirm that you said' it was time consuming but it worked.

If people are leaving/ have left due to her, then why hasn't it been flagged at their leaving interview? Or are people just talking about leaving and not actually doing anything about it, which is very common. This will add to your stress.

Try and keep personal contact with her to an absolute minimum and email her instead. Write down what she asks you to do and the date and time. Make a note of the exact time you complete each piece of work. If she blames you for something not your fault, keep a record of as much as you can.

Print out and keep every single email you send her and ones she sends to you. Don't rely on saving them on the computer - computers can be wiped.

Keep them all in a drawer at work (somewhere she is unlikely to come across them by accident).

You cannot be fired on the spot unless it is for gross misconduct, and that should be set out in your employee handbook along with other details of any dismissal procedure.

My nightmare boss also told me a pack of lies about how I was viewed by others in the company. I believed her and when approached at lunchtime by someone I thought " 2 faced cow" and said " look, I know you talk about me behind my back, so don't pretend you like me and sit somewhere else"

She didn't. She listened whilst I repeated my earlier " appraisal". She got up, took me to the the big boss of the dept, then to hr. She was furious she had been used and furious I had been lied to.

So, document, email and she will know what you are doing so if I were you I would certainly have a meeting, formal or informal " ooh, have you got a moment?" With her boss, and I would go to HR and explain your issues and say you will be documenting from now on, and expect some action.
Also say you aren't sleeping. If you fancy a chance in another dept, now is the time to say so.

Oh- and make sure you say you are going to HR. If her boss tries to put you off, then ask him exactly why. She's a crap manager, and its your life. Why would you support her?

I have been in this exact same position, if you ask others you may well find that the person who was in the job before you was treated exactly the same way. Do you know why that person left?

It could be that HR already know about the behaviour, but you won't know unless you speak to them.

Good luck.

FFF x

Can you buy any chance video record the interactions?