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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Babies out late?

28 replies

DealForTheKids · 05/07/2014 00:43

I'll start this by saying I'm 25 and don't have kids, so I honestly don't have any preconceptions/prejudices about child behaviour.

I'm currently living in London and I went out for dinner with a friend tonight. I'm on the night bus home - for reference, it's 20 to 1am. There are 4 kids who are definitely under 5 on the downstairs floor of the bus. None are playing up - they're all adorable, actually! - but AIBU for thinking that it's not normal to have an under 5 out past 9pm??

OP posts:

Original poster

DealForTheKids · 05/07/2014 00:45

Happy to be told otherwise, incidentally, just very surprised there are so many out and about at this hour !

OP posts:

D0oinMeCleanin · 05/07/2014 00:45

How very dare their parents have a social life

Ring SS.

It's not ideal, but as a one off, it's fine. They've probably been to a family do. Mine have been out late at night once or twice for weddings/bbqs etc.

Oldraver · 05/07/2014 00:47

In this country it is frowned upon...

Original poster

DealForTheKids · 05/07/2014 00:48

Oh I'm not clutching my pearls, promise!!

Just surprised there are so many out I suppose. Not sure if choose to take a baby on a late Friday night bus and wondered if others would!

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D0oinMeCleanin · 05/07/2014 00:50

In the good ole working class NE, it's frowned upon to take your babes home from a family gathering early. T'is good for them to join in family events.

You southerners are softies

I've never been on any bus in London, never mind a late night one, so can't comment on their chosen method of transport, but imo, it's fine to have an occassional late night with the children. As long you remain sober enough to get them home safely.

STOPwiththehahaheheloling · 05/07/2014 00:51

We used to go with parents to drinks/dinner with frends/family and were normally getting home after midnight. My parents drove so you wouldnt have seen us on the bus. Some parents dont drive though so bus it is. It's the weekend and probably a once every few months thing.

STOPwiththehahaheheloling · 05/07/2014 00:53

Fwiw we loved it. Outside looks so different late at night. Very exciting for small dcs. I'd imagine a bus would be even more exciting.

AgentZigzag · 05/07/2014 00:53

The obvious thing to say is that you're only seeing a snapshot of these peoples lives and the children could have been out for any number of reasons, like family member seriously ill and they've no other transport blah blah.

But you're really saying you've noticed lots of children about late at night, that's a bit unusual (to me anyway). Babies (well, under 3 YOs) can be pretty flexible about when they go to bed at night because they still nap in the afternoon, DD2 stayed up until 9 ish until she got into the early morning nursery routine at 3.

Any older and they're flaking out by 7/8 - if you're lucky.

Did you hear any snatched conversations we can hoik at get any vibes off why there are so many out so late? Are they just walking home with their parents or hanging out on street corners smoking ?

OorWullie · 05/07/2014 00:55

They've probably been out somewhere.

Actually now that school is over DS has still been out playing (with my supervision) at 9pm.

Original poster

DealForTheKids · 05/07/2014 00:58

They just seemed to be out in the same way you'd be out at 7pm IYSWIM. Honestly PPs there's no judgment here - I just was so surprised at the number out at this time. That said, due to TTC my evenings out have been limited so I may just not be 'with it' when it comes to night busses at the moment!

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MagicMojito · 05/07/2014 00:58

If toddler is still awake anyway, we've gone on little midnight trips to Tesco before... that's got some cats bum mouths by fellow midnight shoppers

Yabu

Bogeyface · 05/07/2014 00:59

Its not something I do regularly and I have to admit that I do get judgey when I see the same families in our local with the kids up way past 10pm on a school night. But its their choice not mine.

My kids love the odd late night, they really like the adventure of it. I liked to too when I was little, I remember one NY when my grandma had a party and we got home at 4am! But I wouldnt use a night bus. I dont know what they are like in London, but round here the late buses are a nightmare so I would pay for a taxi or drive.

STOPwiththehahaheheloling · 05/07/2014 01:00

I bet the dcs were jumping off the walls so the parents just put coats on them and took them out to kill some time til they settled

Original poster

DealForTheKids · 05/07/2014 01:01

Hahah magic that's precisely the scenario I need to be told about to put me in my place!

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dizzy101 · 05/07/2014 01:03

2am here(not UK) 8 or 9 kids playing out(age 5-12) lots babies in buggies,my 9 year old in bed asleep, but that's normal here.still never worked out how everyone gets up for work.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 05/07/2014 01:03

Family meal, on holiday.

I always choose to stay out, eat as late as posdible when on holiday wirh small DCs. It minimises sitting silently reading in a cramped hotel room.

Both my DDs were very good about late nights generally and very very good about them when it was still light.

Neither would have batted an eyelid at 9pm.

jacks365 · 05/07/2014 01:06

This was me last year with dd who was 1. I was travelling to stay at a relatives due to a family event but by the time I had finished work, picked up dd and got a train to London it was midnight before I arrived. Couldn't believe just how busy everywhere was at that time.

PleaseJustShootMeNow · 05/07/2014 01:11

Some of my fondest childhood memories are of travelling home late from my Nanna's. It felt very different from being out during the day. The air is different, the sights are different, the atmosphere is different. My Dad would get a portion of chips which we all shared. He would tear strips off the paper and wrap them round individual chips because they were too hot for little hands otherwise. Thinking about it makes me feel all fuzzy and happy and want chips

tobysmum77 · 05/07/2014 07:50

new years eve last year dd5 was asleep on me by 9pm. dd2 would have bopped the whole night away. tbh I'm more like dd1 so don't understand why anyone would be out at that time!

Hissy · 05/07/2014 07:56

It's Ramadan at the moment, this may account for it. Those fasting often have evening gatherings to break fast.

Failing that, I have been known to take my 8yo out in London on a school night to meet friends for abroad on an impromptu stopover.

Laquitar · 05/07/2014 08:35

What exactly is the problem thu?

That the children dont have routine?

That the night bus is dangerous?

That the babies should sleep because they have a job interview in the morning?

What is exactly that shocks people when they see babies out after 7pm?

Droflove · 05/07/2014 08:39

Its grand to have very little ones out late as long as its not in a nightclub! As they sleep ah hoc and all over the place anyway. But I would generally have my 1.5 yr old and any older in bed at a decent hour. Except for a very rare occasion and even then I would expect him to be asleep in the buggy during transit back home.

Galvanized · 05/07/2014 08:44

It's Ramadan. The first Friday in Ramadan in fact. In my area lots of families go to mosque then have a family meal/gathering after dark.

But regardless, the family might have been visiting friends, they might be shifting bedtimes in the hope of a lie in this morning!

Oldraver · 05/07/2014 20:56

I dont hold with the all kids in bed by 7pm thing. It was great when I went to my Mums in Spain and you could go out at night for a stroll on the seafront have a coffee or a meal, though I suppose I was in holiday mode.

If you go into out town anytime past 6-7, the place is usually void of families or children....all the parent spaces are there for the taking

Chocotrekkie · 05/07/2014 21:01

They could have been jet lagged tourists ?

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