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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my DD's dummy away on a helium balloon?

61 replies

clabsyqueen · 04/07/2014 21:45

My other half thinks I'm nuts for wanting a momentous 'send off' to mark the farewell to the dummy. He also thinks it's ecologically unsound and potentially dangerous. Our 3year old DD has been very attached to it since pre-birth if you will (she was very premature) and I get quite emotional thinking about how much comfort it has given her over the years, especially in my absence in the incubator. She is very articulate and switched on and is able to explain "I love my dummy, it makes me so happy and when I suck it I feel soooo comfy!" (She means relaxed) It's going to be hard to do this subtlety. I feel that a helium balloon send off would be great. Fairies live in the sky right? Also there's no way to get it back at 3am when we will inevitably will regret the decision to get rid.

OP posts:
flipchart · 04/07/2014 22:14

I just ( accidental on purpose!) stod on Ds1 and said ' oh no, it's broke'
I put it in the bin and that was that!

Your idea sounds nice as an idea but the reality of it is a bit bonkers tbh.( not in a good way)

MrsCosmopilite · 04/07/2014 22:16

We left ours for Rudolph to collect to take back for 'poorly babies'. DD got a present and the dummies got binned.
Discarded balloons are dangerous to wildlife (sorry - banging on about environmental stuff) and the discarded dummies could be too.
Can you appeal to her creative side and suggest that the dummies are passed on for children that really need them? Or explain that they are spoiling her teeth? (That was the push we used to reinforce getting rid - we'd been to the dentist and he advised us to get rid at 2.6).

HypodeemicNerdle · 04/07/2014 22:18

We had a visit from the dummy bunny for my eldest Grin, she's nearly 10 now so I can't quite remember what he left in return but she was happy with the swap

chesterberry · 04/07/2014 22:19

The helium balloon sounds like a good idea if you feel you need to get rid of it and you think she would be receptive to it but I agree with Seeley, why take something away that gives comfort? I had a dummy until I was around 5 or 6, my parents tried to get rid of it when I was younger but I was distraught and it upset my sleep so much they relented and gave it back. I was only allowed a dummy at night (never in daytime or public) and I did give it up on my own, once I was at school I realised I was unusual to have one and came to the conclusion my family had been telling me for years, that they were for babies. My parents bought me a soft-toy as a well done for giving it up and I do still sleep with it now though!

EllieQ · 04/07/2014 22:19

I was thinking of the scene in digging to America too! You might want to read that and reconsider...

DomesticSlobbess · 04/07/2014 22:19

DS' went in the bin after he bit through it. He put it in the bin himself and I told him he was a big boy now.

Job done.

CashmereMouse · 04/07/2014 22:20

Because the balloon will more than likely end up in a field and there's then a high chance that cattle may eat the dummy/dummies/balloon, which isn't going to do them any good and could possibly kill them.

Or it could get tangled in a tree and then it will be an eyesore for years to come. Or a bird or squirrel might try and eat it.

I understand the sentiment behind it OP, but think hanging it in the dummy tree and it being exchanged for a little present is a better idea.

Original poster
clabsyqueen · 04/07/2014 22:21

Chesterberry did it not affect your teeth?

OP posts:
Seeleylovestempe · 04/07/2014 22:21

Oh gosh, sorry! Blush I stand corrected, didn't realise there was a dental issue. On a fairy theme - why not do an under the pillow/gift/money exchange for dummy like the tooth fairy? X

stayathomegardener · 04/07/2014 22:24

DD and I buried hers in the kitchen garden 10 years ago to see if a dummy tree would grow in the spring.
I think she was reassured that she could dig it up at any point.
At one point when I do a crop rotation I assume it will resurface.

It didn't grow in case you are wondering Wink

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/07/2014 22:24

Our dses got to swap,theirs for a toy in a toy shop - one of us explained discreetly to the person on the till whilst the ds chose the toy,,they 'paid' with the dummies, and then we paid for real.

If we'd known about the dummy fairy at the time, we'd probably have done that - leave the dummies out in a gift bag, for the dummy fairy to collect and take to babies who need them more, and in the morning, the dummies are gone and there is a present for the child.

Original poster
clabsyqueen · 04/07/2014 22:25

Maybe I will go more low key. The dummies live under the pillow during the day so I could swap them out at some point when she's not looking. I reckon if she knows 'the dummy fairy is coming' she might not let them out of her sight. I kind of knew the balloon was wrong and immoral! Perhaps was more for me than her!

OP posts:
nickdrakeslovechild · 04/07/2014 22:29

Can I ask those who have done the dummy fairy/ bunny, do you give the present that night or the following morning. My LO wants elsa who we have ready but not sure how to do it. If the dummy goes in the morning so she gets elsa that night, or the dummy goes that night then elsa is ready and waiting in the morning. Confused

chesterberry · 04/07/2014 22:30

No effect on my teeth so far as I can tell, in fact I was the only one of my siblings never to have braces or any orthodontic work! I guess I may have just been lucky. I can't remember for sure but I'm guessing as I gave up at 5/6 it was before the majority of my adult teeth had come through.

If they are effecting your DD's teeth I can see why you would want to get rid. The dummy fairy sounds like a sweet idea.

Original poster
clabsyqueen · 04/07/2014 22:32

Nickdrake good question. It's this level of detail I need to decide too! I had planned a picnic with balloons and no presents but seems that irresponsible and mean! I reckon I will do daytime present which means that it's not a shock in the middle of the night/ early morning when it's not there. Though I suspect it will still be traumatic.

OP posts:
capitalc · 04/07/2014 22:35

my dds dummy just broke (with the help of some scissors) , she only asked for it that night and next morning , i showed her it broken and she never asked again , she was 2 , at 11 she had to have block retainers then braces ,if she didnt she would of had to have jaw surgery at 18 , sooner it goes the better , she also had a narrow palate and overbite .

HypodeemicNerdle · 04/07/2014 22:51

With our dummy bunny visit we did daytime as DD used it at nighttime. Dummy was left in our mailbox (out by the road) before we went out and when we got home he'd visited and left her present

Nottinghill1 · 04/07/2014 22:53

I love it!!!

thegreylady · 04/07/2014 22:54

Ds's dummies were tied to a tree for the dummy lady to collect for the new babies. In the morning a small gift was tied to the tree with a little thank you note from 'the dummy lady'.

nickdrakeslovechild · 04/07/2014 23:01

My thinking is that if we do elsa in the morning the novelty might of worn off by night time....but, if no dummy or elsa I can't see us getting any sleep that night! Soo hard.

Original poster
clabsyqueen · 04/07/2014 23:05

Capitalc my heart fills with dread when I think of the dental work that might be needed as a result of this dummy use. I will use it to steel my nerves!

OP posts:
capitalc · 04/07/2014 23:31

clabsyqueen its all turned out ok ,now shes 15 perfect teeth ,no one at school even remembers her with them now, the blocks hurt for a few days as they were pulling her lower jaw forward , it really changed her face shape she only had them 10 months , and braces for 5 months , they ached for a few days as well , i felt guilty ,but when they are little you just dont know how it can affect them later , hope you can get rid of your dds dummy soon , there are some nicer ideas on here than what i did :)

velocitykate · 04/07/2014 23:42

None of my three would take a dummy, despite my wishing they would......anyway, when my eldest dd was born (she is 10). The opportunity was used by sil to get rid of Dn's dummies (she was three at the time). She told Dn that the dummy fairy needed to take them away to give to her new baby cousin. It worked a treat .....

RedSoloCup · 04/07/2014 23:47

I just lost my temper in the end as DD3 got so attached to it and said that's it, no more dummy, everyone around me thought I was mad (she was just two) and there were tears at bedtime for a week or so but she actually slept better after that and I no longer had to get up six times a night to find her a dummy :) x

AgentZigzag · 05/07/2014 00:00

We've just been talking about 4 YO DD2 kicking her dummy habit, she only has it in bed now and is pretty good about that, but all the things you've said have gone through my head with her.

The 'mmm' noise she makes when she puts it in just melts me and I can't take the security/comfort/whatever away from her.

We thought the same with DD1 but she gave it up on her 3rd birthday and apart from a couple of times she was totally fine without. Even though I know that I still can't force it with DD2 Hmm I think I've gone soft and babying her a bit.

We came to the conclusion that like all the other things that didn't go as planned/recommended advice, we'll ignore it and it'll go away it'll work itself out in time. Although your DD is a bit different as you're worried about her teeth, has only the dummy done that to her mouth? Can you restrict it to only bedtime at first? (sorry if I've missed you saying you do already)