To think this woman's comments are rude?

[Mumtums]

Need a bit of perspective on this. In a baby music class, random mum has loudly commented twice, on separate occasions that my baby is small. Always said quite sneerily, 'ooh he's really small, isn't he'?

First time she said it, I was a bit taken aback. Literally never spoken to this woman before and that's the first thing she said.

This week we were chatting and she made comments again 'oh he's such a small baby, what does he weigh?' I told her I didn't know, he was weighed 2 weeks ago blah blah.

For what it's worth, he's not a huge baby but not tiny, would say he's fairly average and a good weight. DD was similar size at that age. Wouldn't mind but this woman's baby is the same age and smaller!

Would I BU to tell her she is fucking rude and if she wants to make conversation with a stranger there are nicer things she could say?

it's an implied criticism and it's stating the obvious.

woolly as I mentioned in my OP this was a random stranger, the very first thing she had said to me, spoken loudly and sneerily (if that's an actual word).

That's what is rude.

Thanks four, a much more articulate response than mine! She did say it as if it was a criticism.

I have tiny children but I've never been offended when people mention their size. I've even been asked several times with each baby if they were prem babies but didn't mind at all. My children are all perfect!

everybody else's baby seemed to have a small head compared to my babies. Of course, they were completely normal, just that I had got used to looking at my large headed children and in comparison everyone else looked small.

reply with an oh yes isn't he wonderful

'Oh he's tiny', 'Oh she's a good size', 'Oh look at her hair' etc...all normal things people just say about babies without really caring.

I love my babies, I think other babies are OK, but i'm just not interested enough tbh and tend to stick with the bleeding obvious easiest comments.

I've constantly had same thing but because dd really tall.

It's never bothered me....just people thinking of something to say.

In my experience, most comments about babies - esp ones that could be construed as statements of fact ie size - are more likely to be awkward small talk than anything else. When people are tired and have young children it's also all too easy to think someone's being sneery as well.

And I say this as a mother of a baby called fat and hairy almost daily

Washing sums it up....

Comment without thinking....just something to say.

I'm a bit baffled by some of these responses

God knows how many people I must offend on a daily basis without realizing

For what its worth I think yabu. If I'm stuck for conversation I will state the obvious just to fill the silence. I don't particularly enjoy making conversation with others but sometimes its awkward not to, so you just use what you can.

I am the reverse of pp in that it amazes me how often rudeness is excused as probably nerves, social anxiety etc. People who are genuinely nervous IME take more care not to say possibly insensitive things.

I would go with 'Oh, you've mentioned that a few times now - are you worried about your baby's size? Do you want to talk about it?'

I'm quite socially awkward and I'm aware that even if I don't intend to be rude sometimes I am. And it is still rude. Being socially awkward doesn't make it not rude or excuse it.

I would comment too and I am nice. Ergo YABU

This may be due to my dd being a 9pound nine ounce whopper so they all seemed small to me!!!

People often see small as cute, she may not have realised she was offending you. Or she's one of these people who, when seeing a flaw, always twists thing around. Like a friend of mine who often makes a big deal about the weights of people slimmer then her- whether they are slim or overweight, if they weigh less then her she can'y shut up about how tiny they are.

YWBU to say that to her, if she says he's small again then just ask 'compared to what?'