This probably is BU

[chocoluvva]

But does anyone else feel insulted at being given flowers to apologise (for a very minor dismeanour).

I can't quite figure out why this is making me way more annoyed than I was before - mildly irritated before and even questioning my right to feel irritated but after being given a small bunch of flowers from a very young man who slightly overstepped the mark I am now feeling insulted.

Also, I have a thread about this on chat.

He's obviously worried he upset you. He made a genuine gesture giving you a gift. Don't see the problem tbh

I think that the flowers show that it was a properly considered and thought-out apology rather than something he just came up with on the spot when he saw you and remembered that he had annoyed you. It was a gesture to demonstrate that he hadn't just rolled his eyes and thought you were over-reacting, or figured it would all be ok if he just carried on as normal.

Haven't read your other thread, but from the info on here, that would be my interpretation.

He noticed that he had pissed you off and did something nice to show you that he realised he had pissed you off and wishes he hadn't.
This is not a bad thing.
An 18 year old lad bought you flowers! Possibly because he has been brought up to think that ladies forgive men who give them flowers. (And probably because his mum bawled him out too- this is not spontaneous 18 year old behaviour).
Awww

Or are you suspecting that he may turn into the kind of chap who thinks he can treat your DD as horribly as he likes so long as he turns up with a garage bunch afterwards?

I would be amazed if a teen bought me flowers by way of apology!
He's a teenager and he has gone out of his way to let you know he is sorry, and I would just bet that he actually has no idea quite why you were upset with him because he's a teenager
Good grief, my own teenager only managed a slab of Cadburys with 2 squares suspiciously nibbled on for my birthday this year - for an unrelated one to bring flowers would be a Red Letter Day

Thank you for your thoughtful replies (on AIBU ). Very kind to indulge this third thread on the hash I made of talking to BF, making a mountain out of a molehill.

When he came round with the flowers I acknowledged that I didn't want to not mention the previous night, but I hadn't really thought about it properly and should have said nothing or just said what I thought properly instead of making stupid remarks in the hope that he would pick up my cue and say the right thing.

He said he knew he was being cheeky and nearly didn't phone, but as the effects of the drink kicked in it seemed a better and better idea . And he wouldn't do it again. The flowers probably were his mum's idea. A friend had helped him choose them, apparently.

I told him they weren't needed and suggested he give them to his mum as that would just be a nice surprise for her, just for its own sake instead of a reminder of how I'd needlessly made an issue out of next-to-nothing by communicating poorly. I still think it's a misjudgement to give a gift as an apology - IMO it trivialises the person's feelings. I love flowers - no problem with that, it's the giving a material thing rather than manning up and saying I'd like to talk about the other night and to be fair, giving someone flowers is a lead in to talking about something. But I do understand trying to cement his apology as genuine and highlight his apology I'm sure it was meant well - therefore I ought not to feel insulted(and they smell gorgeous ). It clearly hasn't occurred to him that a gift could be interpreted as a way of trying to diminish the importance of the other person's feelings. (or the sexism involved) And he did say the right things.

I felt horrible for being annoyed at his gesture and surprised at myself.

The moral of this story is communicate properly or not at all.

Thank you for helping.