To thing someone making social plans with another, when you get along well with that person is insensitve and ill-timed

[Whatalife58]

I was at work helping a colleague with something. Along comes another person and says to the work colleague we are meeting so and so and so and so after work come along.

I think it is rude but have experinced it a lot.

It is rude, I experienced it the other day. Was walking back from morning school run with a friend, let's call her Clare. We passed another school mum from our children's class, who said, 'Oh hi Clare, do you fancy coffee in an hour? I can pick you up and we'll go to Costa!'

Clare seemed keen, agreed on a time and we carried on walking. I do chat with this other person, but she and Clare meet up on their own fairly often. If it were me I'd have automatically asked the other person, but not everyone thinks like that, I realise.

It would have been a rush for me to go anyway that day, but it just leaves you feeling a bit on the outside looking in, doesn't it. Reminds me of school tbh!

Yes agree it's very rude but equally I find that people don't seem to realise how important simple manners and thought are.

I hate it when you are with someone and they see someone else and chatter away but don't introduce you.

I really like people with good manners.

They are a superior breed apart I think and I tried to instill them in my own children.

Agree its rude and bad manners. Hate that sinking feeling of not being invited and despise myself for it! When pfb was born there was a real weirdo in our nct group who would tell me in great detail about the lovely times her and another nct woman had had. It was so odd she knew full well I was sitting at home with a screaming baby while they were out having fun in various coffee shops. Fine not to invite me but why reminisce about their meet ups with me when I wasn't invited!

Is it an English thing? Australian colleague was shocked at how on Fridays people whispered and discreetly invited certain people to drinks after work. In Australia one person would shout "right off to the pub who's coming"

Has happened to me a lot.
I now just accept I am really boring and unlikely to be invited anywhere.

But it is very rude and I wonder how people don't realise this. But then I am pretty inept a lot of the time, so maybe I am going round upsetting everyone without realising it as well...

Happened to me in work once, when there was a big night out arranged amongst a certain crowd. One of them then loudly asked the guy sitting at the table beside mine (in the canteen) if he was going. When he asked who else would be there, she loudly replied "only the people we like".

That said, I don't think I'd want to be one of the people she likes.

A friend of mine was too that a colleague had an A list and a B list of people she was inviting to her party

My friend was on her B list but should keep the evening free in case one of the A list people dropped out

I wasn't on either list!

It is very rude. I had 2 friends who would frequently discuss their last night out in front of me, and when another friend finally said, "didn't you ask Joey" (she was annoyed on my behalf) they both said, "she might not have been able to come and would have been upset"

No thought of asking me, of course! Needless to say both of the former friends aren't friends yet the last one still is.

Unless it is deliberatly done to exclude I do not see a problem with it at all. I accept that we all have various friend and various social circles. Even within the same group of friends I can happily see why sometimes you'd want to do certain things just with one for example.

Often at the school gates someone will say "mert you at your house" "see you there for a drink" etc.

We are not in school anymore.

(Or. Maybe I am the rude one with the head in the clouds)

Nectar but maybe they are close friend and want to discuss private things? Why be offended? It's not like they invited the whole school but you?