Have you ever had to deal with somebody's strange sense of humour?

[mytwoblackandwhitecats]

Someone who finds very little funny, but what they are amused at is generally the misfortunes or even the pain of others ?

This person won't laugh at a comedian for example but will roar uproariously at someone who lost their job, even if they are friends with him, and also I found them laughing their heads off at one of the nastier death scenes in a final destination movie

Is it possible to "teach" someone to have a sense of humour that is, well, a bit more mainstream?

Gosh. This sounds really odd. No, I've never met anyone quite like this, I'm glad to say.

Has this person had any sort of head injury or stroke? If this is a new thing, then yes, empathy can be relearned but if they have always had this sort of humour then you have to accept that that is their personality.

Gosh, awfully sorry, I thought this was "chat"

Wading; it IS odd, isn't it, and very, very sad as this lack of "normal" humour and laughter as well as the glee in others' downfall stops them forging relationships and strong friendships. They are very lonely as a result.

It's very sad.

Well, I have a pretty sick sense of humor and find some film horror pretty amusing.. but IRL I don't.

He does sound like the far end of the scale though if he doesn't have much empathy going on.

Laughter is actually an expression of tension, a reaction to something unexpected, whether it be the punchline to a joke or someone tripping up.
This probably explains why your friend is laughing, rather than them revelling in another's misfortune.

No - they're definitely laughing at the situation unfortunately, to the point where I hear delighted giggling and I say "are you laughing about C?" Answer is "yes" accompanied with more giggling.

It's pretty disconcerting.

well I have heard it said that people find humour in tragedy....its quite a common form of humour...

Your friend could be a psychopath. Seriously I saw a programme on tv about people in society who show psychopathic traits..people from all walks of life who you maybe wouldn't expect to be a psychopath. Anyway..maybe they just are the way they are (without being a psychopath) although does sound like there is something more than just someone who lacks empathy. Does this make sense? Probably not! Im on the wine tonight so apologies for rambling :-)

Susy, one of the problems is that this is the impression they give to others ! I know him so well, I know he is capable of great kindness and really is quite sweet, although I know he sounds anything but!

I think he has some undiagnosed asd though.

I don't know if more mainstream humour can be taught, I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I'm desperate to help in any way I can, because he's already lost so many friends and never made others because of this weird humour. But he just doesn't "get it"!

I have a friend that laughs at everything and it can be extremely embarrassing to be around because she does it so obviously. We were once at a park and 2 little boys were playing on a climbing frame, one fell off and his dad went to his aid, she started laughing (I have no idea why) and he, understandably, looked really pissed off and upset.

If we are at the kid's school concert she laughs loudly if the children go wrong. It is so odd. She told me that she got in trouble at work because she made a serious mistake and then laughed when her manager brought it up with her. The manager told her that he laughter made it seem as if she didn't care about it and she was really upset at the insinuation and said she can't help it. It is very hard to explain to her how off putting it is.

I can totally see how this could cause issues for someone in a friendship or relationship of any kind.

Wasn't meaning your friend is psychotic. .I totally get what you mean though. Sometimes you feel like you want to ask why are you finding that funny? Or don't you realise how you are coming across to other people? However he just is the way he is..you can obviously see that and know that whilst he can put his foot in it and come across as showing a lack of empathy and compassion. .he actually is a nice guy! I bet he sees you as a good friend. You sound like you have a good judge of character.

hasn't anyone ever said wow you find that funny that's really cruel when he is laughing at others misfortunes? does he genuinely find it funny or could he feel awkward. I laugh when I feel awkward which of course makes it more awkward as I shouldn't be laughing but I fully realise what I'm laughing at isn't funny

"Gosh, awfully sorry, I thought this was "chat""

I don't understand why you thought the responses were negative tbh

I didn't, I was just talking to myself I suppose! :)

Can I just point out psychotic and psychopathic are totally different things?

Is this your partner? I don't think you can teach people to find things funny but might be able to teach them to control or hide inappropriate laughter.

Not my partner - brother :)

Unfortunately he does genuinely find such matters funny. He walks around the house laughing at them

TangerineFairy

I know what you mean and can just picture the man laughing at the child falling. I was in a supermarket with my Ex once. A toddler fell out of a trolley onto the hard floor. My Ex laughed......

I find it hard not to laugh during periods of silence...a minutes silence, a funeral, my own wedding during the prayer...I have an overwhelming need to giggle, which I think is a nervous thing.

Basically at any opportunity when I know It would be the most inappropriate time to laugh, I want to laugh. It's also happened when we had a meeting in work where a hundred people were finding out they'd lost their jobs, seeing a kid fall flat on their face etc.

I have learnt how to control it to an extent though...and laughter is more of an involuntary reaction rather than genuinely finding it funny iyswim.

If he actually finds these things funny...I don't know, it is weird.

I often don't "get" comedians. But if a person falls on the street, it is very funny.

Basically at any opportunity when I know It would be the most inappropriate time to laugh, I want to laugh.

I do this too, not because it's a funny situation, but because you know you shouldn't laugh, and you end up doing so.

Laughing at others' pain is strange. I can understand it sometimes (e.g. something minor like someone falling off their chair but not seriously injuring themselves), but not something like losing a job, or a serious accident.

The Final Destination thing I do get, because some of these movies are so ridiculous you find yourself laughing at the stupidity of it, not the fact that someone is supposed to have been killed.

It doesn't sound like it would be just the odd sense of humour putting off new and old friends though, perhaps it is a package of slightly odd behaviour that then becomes disconcerting for the other. I work with quite a lot of people who may be on the spectrum (diagnosed and undiagnosed) and most have friends/partners.

Does he want to change?

Does he perceive a problem?

I'm not sure you can teach him to find things funny if he doesn't but perhaps letting him know what is inappropriate might help.

It is not that odd to laugh at the misfortune of others though, that's what 'You''ve been Framed' does for an hour every day. Many people laugh at really gory bits in horror movies, I once laughed through one the entire way through at the cinema as it was so silly I couldn't help it. I don't think that's odd!

I would be tempted to tell him to stop behaving like a wanker, sorry.

It's understandable some people do find misfortune funny, but most people learn not to show it all the time.

I did know someone a little bit like this - he's a total immature pest. I fail to see how it could be any different, really.

It's not what he thinks that's the issue - we are all entitled to our own thoughts and opinions. What he needs to moderate is his behaviour. Can you not explain to him that other people not only don't find this sort of thing amusing, but that his laughter makes other people angry and upset. So while he can laugh as much as he likes in private, when there are others present he should either do his best to suppress the laughter or, if he can't, then he should apologise and say that it's a kind of nervous reaction he has. It doesn't matter that this isn't true - there are times when an outright lie is good manners.

Some people find different stuff funny. Get over it.