Following on from a very interesting post over in Chat...
This afternoon while reading that thread I very suddenly remembered an unpleasant incident that happened when I was 18. I got very drunk at a party and my friend's boyfriend (who was also a friend of mine) led me upstairs to the bathroom, pushed my head down and made me give him a blowjob. I was very sheltered, had never had a proper boyfriend, and so I didn't have the faintest clue what this actually was IYSWIM. All I knew was that I had to do it because he seemed to be expecting it, that he'd taken me there for that exact purpose and that I wasn't going to be leaving that bathroom until I'd done what he wanted.
I think I remember being mostly concerned, because he was boasting about it to another friend of his later that night iirc, that his girlfriend was going to find out (she was away at the time).
I don't think I ever thought of it as 'assault'. I felt grubby and yucky and I loathed what I can remember of it, but I just thought it was my own stupid fault as I'd been drinking and because I went willingly to the bathroom (well, willingly as in I didn't refuse to go, I have a dim memory of him just leading me up the stairs and me being too drunk to do anything else) and, I suppose, because I didn't actually say No at any point. Again, it just didn't occur to me that No was any kind of an option, even if I'd been sober enough to voice it.
Anyway, I have a daughter of my own now (a baby, mercifully) and reading the stories over on the other thread, most of which are way way way more distressing than anything I've experienced, plus of course now remembering this strange incident, I'm just wondering if this sort of horrible thing lies ahead for her, inevitably, when she starts hanging around with boys many (hopefully many, many many!!!) years down the line.
Also it occurred to me that if I ever heard someone had done to my daughter in later years what this 'boy' (young man) did to me, I'd want to kill him. And I'd probably want to tell the police... but would that be wrong? And I still find it very, very very hard to accept that what he did was a sexual assault of any kind.
So in your views - was it actually an assault, or 'just' a mucky teenage boy pushing his luck? How normal is this sort of thing?
Have felt really yucky all day the more I've thought about it and wish I'd had a gentler initiation into the adult world... have never particularly enjoyed sex with my lovely, gently DH and I suppose I'm now wondering if this is a small part of the reason why?