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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that nursery/ reception sports days should not be overly competitive

28 replies

ReallyTired · 03/07/2014 09:38

Dd had her sports day yesterday and there weren't any of the usual fun races like egg and spoon, dressing up races or three legged races. Instead it was run more like an atheletics meet. The childen spent most of the time sitting around watching.

The children run in groups of four and every child got a sticker. Even the child who came last. Some of the nursery children were very upset at coming last in all their races. The groups were oddly chosen. For example my daughter was in a group of boys. Another group had 3 SEN kids and one child who is physically quite able. The NT could could have run the race walking!

Seven years go my son's reception sports day was more enjoyable. The children were in teams and each took part in a carasol of ten events. The child with the highest score in each event got a certificate and there were no stickers for the losers. I feel that the chidlren enjoyed the event far more.

OP posts:

Monkeyandanimal · 03/07/2014 09:43

why can't the losers have stickers too? otherwise i'd say yes, little kids should be having fun and having lots of turns.

Original poster

ReallyTired · 03/07/2014 09:52

Monkeyandanimal

Do you really want to wear a sticker to say that you came last in every single race?

OP posts:

fluffyanimal · 03/07/2014 09:55

How do you know it was a sticker that recorded the position in the race, rather than a sticker that congratulated the child for taking part?

littlejohnnydory · 03/07/2014 09:58

I think everyone should get a taking part sticker. DD's preschool did, ds's school didn't. I do agree that it should be more about fun than competition for the little ones though.

DilysMoon · 03/07/2014 10:00

Our infant sports day had a mixture of activities in groups and then races at the end. The races were by far the most anticipated part for my ds (year r) and a lot of his classmates. There went any certificates or stickers for winners but 1st & 2nd got points for their houses which decided the winning house. Seemed to work well, didn't see any tears and all the children were cheered on.

I don't think a bit of competition is a bad thing at all but I think nursery is a bit young.

Flexibilityiskey · 03/07/2014 10:02

I think competition is a good thing. It sounds like the problem was more the way the groups were chosen. If children of similar abilities were grouped together, then everyone has a fair chance, and hopefully nobody would come last every time. If there is enough variety in the events there should be something everyone can do well at. I do miss the fun races though.

tumbletumble · 03/07/2014 10:03

YANBU.

We had nursery / reception sports day yesterday. The races were fun (involving bean bags, hoops, clothes etc) and the children rotated between each one (so no sitting around). Year 5 children supervised. Every child got a sticker (a fun sticker without a position on it) for each race. The only exception was the final running race at the end - they ran in groups of 5 or 6 and there were 1st / 2nd / 3rd stickers for that.

That's how a sports day for little ones should be IMO.

PinkHamster · 03/07/2014 10:06

YANBU regarding the weird selection of kids for each race. I don't think there's anything wrong with stickers for losers though - surely not giving them anything and only giving them to the winner would make it seem more competitive, not less.

When I was in primary school everyone got a sticker, including the losers.

jazzandh · 03/07/2014 10:11

We had a nursery (pre-school) sports day ...all the children took part in every fun race.

They were graded slightly according to speed etc...and ran in groups of 4 or 5, so most of the races were fairly close.

They had all made their own shiney medals which they were given at the end...(and an ice lolly back in their classroom).

They all loved taking part...some seemed to really want to win even at that age..some skipped along in fun....they all jumped up and down with excitement at the start of each "race"...was lovely....

pinkdelight · 03/07/2014 10:14

Our sports day isn't at all competitive for yr-2. The kids love it and its enough pressure just to focus on what they're doing never mind competing. It's lovely. Except for the mums and dads races which turn into a major competition and stresses me out no end! Yanbu.

Monkeyandanimal · 03/07/2014 10:38

Well it would be odd to give out stickers that said "last place' on them! i was thinking more along the lines of a postman pat or animal sticker for everyone just for taking part!

MrsWinnibago · 03/07/2014 11:22

I feel that boys and girls are equal at aged 4! Why shouldn't your DD be with some boys in her race?

I get mad to be honest at the LACK of competition. I have 2 DDs. One is very bad at sports and has to put up with being last...she has learned to try her best.

The other is 6 and is very good at sports....she wins often but gets upset that she's not called the winner and is not acknowledged at all!

Why shouldn't she be acknowledged? She's the bloody fastest and knows it! She can't read very well and knows that...she copes with it...she can't handle not getting her rightful acknowledgement for what she IS good at.

Original poster

ReallyTired · 03/07/2014 12:35

"I feel that boys and girls are equal at aged 4! Why shouldn't your DD be with some boys in her race?"

She was the only girl in her race. The boys she was racing with were signifcantly taller than her. My daughter is the shortest in her class.
I don't agree that boys and girls are equal at that age. The average boy is bigger than the average girl.

"The other is 6 and is very good at sports....she wins often but gets upset that she's not called the winner and is not acknowledged at all!"

A lot depends on who she races against. Ablity is all relative. If your child persues sport outside school she will meet children who are really fast.

OP posts:

Bonsoir · 03/07/2014 12:38

I agree - at 4, sports day should be about fun and games for everyone.

hippo123 · 03/07/2014 12:43

I actually think it should be competive. Lots of kids struggle at reading, writing, maths etc but are good at sports. Why shouldn't that be recognised, rewarded and praised in the same way that another child might be rewarded for learning there timetables?

Bonsoir · 03/07/2014 12:45

They aren't learning times tables at 4.

Original poster

ReallyTired · 03/07/2014 12:46

Kids who struggle with reading, writing and maths are not shown up in public. Anyway nursery/ reception is play based and there is less of an emphasis on the three Rs.

In my daughter's class some children are bad at everything. In fact I don't think that there is a link between sporting and academic ablity. All the people I met who are really gifted at sport have been strong academically as well.

OP posts:

DeWee · 03/07/2014 12:49

I don't get why you think the reception one was so much less competitive?

If they were giving a certificate for the one with the highest score in reception as opposed to giving them all a sticker in nursery, my dc would have felt the reception one was the competitive one.

My favourite memory from all the infant day sports' days I've been to was the year 2 boys race for dd2. Two of the girls were complete tomboys and asked if they could run the boys race. The year was very girl heavy, so this was probably helpful. Well, one of the girls won the race. I thought it was brilliant!

As someone whose aim at sports' day was not to be last in every race, I still think competition is healthy. And also as someone who was last, I hated relay/team type things because I felt not only was I last, but I was letting everyone else down too.

davidjrmum · 03/07/2014 12:51

When you watch the olympics or similar, the athletes are at least competing in events that they have a strength in and usually they are all of a reasonably similar standard. At junior school sports days you tend to have one event - running - which suits some and not others. Added to that, the different rates at which kids grow in a year means that the notion of a winner is quite frankly ridiculous. My ds ran in his race against a boy who was slightly younger than him but about a foot taller than everyone else who was running. He won by a mile - what a surprise!

owlbegoing · 03/07/2014 13:27

I went to my DD's "sports" day today and it was crap! The first part they went round in year groups playing with a parachute, dancing, stacking 3 cups, hula hooping. Negligible sport content. Then all of them sat while a few from each class did some races. Each child got to choose to do 2 races out of normal race, egg and spoon, bean bag or dress up race. When I asked the teacher what the point of the first bit was I was told it was for the children who didn't enjoy competitive sports. Completely ignoring the fact that when they did the races later they had all of KS1 and the parents watching them when they were competing against another 7 children max! No pressure there then!

CrohnicallyExhausted · 03/07/2014 13:34

I think a mix of things is what's needed. I understand that if someone is not academic but is sporty, they ought to get recognition for that. But it must be tough for children who repeatedly come last.

At our sports day children win points for their team. So a child can be congratulated for doing really well and getting lots of points, but everyone who takes part will get at least one point so has made a useful contribution. We also have a good mix of events- traditional athletics (running, jumping and throwing) but also egg and spoon, skipping, occasionally a random fun one like dressing up, so hopefully everyone will find something they are good at or enjoy doing.

MrsWinnibago · 03/07/2014 13:37

Really that's just life! The fact that they are boys has nothing to do with it at this age.

My older DD is short...most of the girls are a head and shoulder bigger than her..they're ten going on eleven with legs nearly as long as mine in some cases....what shall I do? Complain that she's at an unfair disadvantage as she's short! Don't be silly.

MrsWinnibago · 03/07/2014 13:39

Chronically yes it is tough but as I said, my older DD has learned to cope well. She knows she';; be second to last if not last...she does her absolute best but just isn't fast....or well coordinated...because she laughs about it and even celebrates it a bit, her peers are fine with it...they all encourage one another and the slower girls team up for the long race and run/walk together....laughing all the time.

It's meant to be fun...and being first is great but fun can still be had.

kslatts · 03/07/2014 13:52

I think competition is a good thing, if the children are all in teams then when they win races they can just give points to the top 3 places for their team.

When my dd's were in the infants, it wasn't at all competitive and tbh felt like it was all a bit pointless. All the children were given stickers meaning the children who won didn't really feel as it they had achieved anything.

BruthasTortoise · 03/07/2014 13:54

Do the parents who believe that all sports days should be completely competitive also support the idea of a mandatory, public intelligence testing for children in which they all compete against each other while parents cheer them on? I have one DS who is incredibly sporty and wins nearly every event at sports day but struggles academically and one who is not sporty but incredibly bright. Sporty DS gets much more public recognition of his achievements than DS2, in fact the children are encouraged not to share their academic results as it is not a competition.

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