Changing schools from a DCs perspective - unreasonable?

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I'd really appreciate your stories of DCs (from ages 8 to 14) changing schools please. Not because there are problems or they are unhappy. But because you move to another area entirely (of the UK or abroad).

I know it will depend on the child(ren) involved, and how the parents handle it. But I'd love to hear from those who have been through it.

TIA

I swapped schools at 13 because of a house move. Lost all my friends and found it difficult to integrate at the new school because they'd all grown up together and weren't too open to making friends. It was a very lonely time until another new person started.

But if the school had been bigger (was only 80 in the year compared to 300 at the school id moved from) that wouldn't have happened, I guess.

I did this at about 13 and hated it. Leaving all your friends and having to make new ones in a closed peer group is tough, especially at that age and when you haven't chosen it for yourself.

The dses were 11, 13 and 15 when we moved from the South East to Scotland. We discussed the possibility of the move when dh got invited tomapplynformthe job in Scotland,,and made sure they were all comfortable with the idea, and when we came up here to look at areas we might live, and schools, they came with us and were fully involved in the whole process.

I think the move was a very positive one for all three of them - we found a good senior school,they all liked, and all three of them have done very well there - and they have all made plenty of new friends. It did take a while for ds2 to settle in, and there were some problems, but when he found something to get involved with (in his case, the school musical) this gave him an 'in' with a great bunch of kids, and his friendship circle has just got bigger and stronger ever since.

One thing that made the difference for our boys was that we made the effort to involve them, and to listen to their concerns. Ds2, for example, was most concerned about finding a local cricket club he could join, so we made finding one a priority.

I moved at 12 from a school I loved and where I had loads of friends to a boarding school chosen on the basis of it's reputation only, it was a move for a mother's convenience with no thought given to me (except to get me out of the house) - so not quite the same but I'll continue anyway.

It. Was. Hard.

The school was ultimately one of the best things to happen to me (I was given excellent support, brillient pastoral care and encouraged to push myself academically), the move had a negative impact that still affects me 20 years later.

I did it a fair few times. In some cases the new schools were used to it (Pa was Navy) but in between went back to old place. It was fine for me, I always saw it as an adventure, but I guess that's how we saw it as a family.

DCs (10 and 8) have already moved twice in two years. There may be another move on the cards but then we'd want to stay put for the long haul. They have coped so well and it has made them come out of their shells. They are very good at making friends now and putting themselves out there. As onesleep says, we have tried to treat it as an adventure.

But I am very aware that DS1 especially (year 6) will struggle once he hits 12/13 and I don't really want to be moving him after that if I can help it.

Such a double edged sword. Thanks for the stories so far.