To insist that if they want to see us next month they can bloody well come here!

[FluffyPiggle]

Me and dp live in the West Country, my parents live in Sussex. They have been to visit us twice in 18 months compared to about 10 times we've been there. Their main excuse is that the dog makes too much noise in the car?

I'm currently pregnant with dc1 and on Monday day we had to drive down to visit a dying relative. On the way down a large stone chipped my windscreen so badly I need a replacement. Along with the fuel it's cost me over £100

Mum is already making noise about us visiting more regularly when baby is born as she doesn't want to be a part time Granny when dp's family live near us.

It's her birthday in August, Wibu to text her and say they either come to us or we don't see them? I'm hormonal, grieving and now broke.

And we see in laws about once a month. About the same for his 2 sisters and grandparents. They're not really an in your pocket type family

YANBU in principle although if you could manage once more for the birthday it would be a kindness.

But after that and for some years to come it must be them to you and without the dog. No ifs, no buts.

YANBU

Go your own pace and they can make an effort to see you or not, it's totally ridiculous of them to expect you to do all the travelling. If they want to see you and the baby when it arrives then they need to pull their fingers out.

How offen have you invited them down to stay for weekend ?

As I think that is your clue here if you don't invited them to stay how are they going to come down.

Yanbu. Not fair that it's all your time and effort.

Who cares if your parents work, so do you.

I'd be saying very nicely, sorry mum we are skint and knackered but would love to have you come to us. They are your parents, it's not a bad thing to say!

I'm 29 weeks pregnant and not going anywhere until this baby is at least 3 months! (So New Years) I also have a back problem and bad SPD so a 3 hour journey would be utter hell, not taking into account our baby, our cats, and the money.

People want to see us, they know where we are

You see your parents approx once every 6 weeks and the inlaws once a month. You are a saint in my view.
I have seen my MIL three times since Christmas, my parents (excluding Skype chats) last September 2013.... bad daughter though they don't live in the UK.

Time for a sit down with your mum I think. Start by inviting her to come and stay with the dog for her birthday weekend. Tell her you want to show her the nursery/go shopping for booties or something. If you are both working FT and presumably saving leave for maternity/paternity then it's not unreasonable to suggest that they leave Sussex early if they can and make their way to yours. It is her birthday though so you might have to suck it up to keep the peace if it's a big deal to her.

Hedge your bets I'd have a chat though that says while you might be able to visit them by yourself for a few extra days here and there while on mat leave [it can get boring being at home with a baby and sometimes it's nice to be waited on by your parents], that it's likely that you won't be visiting them in person for the first 3 months at least, and visits to them are likely to be quarterly after that. Don't over commit but don't start WW3 either - you might be very grateful for their willingness to visit/host in months to come. A 3 hr drive can sometimes be a very easy alternative to being a host with a small baby in the house.