to let asc ds get 2 buses to school each way- alone

[appealtakingovermylife]

Hi there, I'm not sure if this is appropriate in AIBU but here goes, will try and keep it brief.

My 11 year old ds was diagnosed asc at 8.8 and I would class as typical aspergers, socially awkward, very anxious, vulnerable and big for his age.

We lost our recent appeal to desired school and were given 2nd and only other choice which seems to cater very well for asc children. Our intention was to move nearer but are now not in the position to at the moment.
Ds is on school action plus on the SEN register but doesn't need any extra help at school.

Problem is, allocated school is 2 long bus rides away, I don't drive.
Ds loves having a bit of independence such as walking the 10 minute journey home from primary school, he's currently in year 6 and due to start secondary in September.

However, after having a rare heart-to-heart, he has said that he is petrified of travelling to the new school, his anxiety is increasing, not eating or sleeping properly and he really doesn't feel safe ( route involves the busiest road in the city with links to major motorway)

I'm on the borders of two boroughs, the one where I live has failing academies with bad reputations and both the appeal and allocated school are in the neighbouring borough.

Am I being unreasonable to think its not safe? My LA won't help as its not one of their schools and the LA where the school is tell me to contact my LA as I'm not one of their residents.

Ds does not have a statement and this is the first thing anyone asks regarding my concerns. I'm not willing to compromise his safety, but what do I do?

This might be worth a look too - Brain In Hand

Very expensive, but people sometimes can get school funding for it.

i know of a parent who runs a people carrier into and back from a local grammar school. They charge £5 a day(!!!!) per child (£30/day nice little earner considering theyd be dropping their dd anyhow)

Have they got a PSV licence and their car insured for ' hire or reward' are they registered with the council?

OP- won't there be other children making the same journey?

Hi, thanks to everybody who has messaged this morning.
Me and ds dad split up when he was 2, he doesn't live local but picks him up after work on Fridays and brings him home tea time Saturday.
My dp works out of the area and leaves at 7, gets home at 5.
My dd been at her preschool since November and is very settled, however, they're extremely flexible:)
There are lots of ideas/options to explore that I hadn't initially thought of so Will make some calls today.
It also makes it difficult that ds is totally against going to this school so I've got to make sure there's no other options.
Dd starts primary school in September 2015 so got it all to come again this autumn. I'm sure everything will fall into place once ds school situation is resolved.

Just to add, nobody else will be going to this school and were miles away from a train station:(
Singy, your son sounds like he's really confident with his journey now, that's what I'm hoping for and I imagine my son will be the same eventually!
It just seems there's a real grey area, you have a diagnosis but no statement and that closes a lot of doors.
There's going to have to be some sacrifices here to make it work and I'm willing to explore every option.

It might be worth checking with the school if there are some children local to you who already go to the school. Maybe your son could buddy up with them and they could travel together.

I would at least go and have a look at your local schools even if they are "failing" academies. I worked in an academy on special measures and our SEN department was amazing so much so that we did have several pupils transfer to us from outstanding schools as our provision was better. Senco was fab as were TAs and pastorally we were second to none. We also were supposed to have had a behaviour problem but that was a reputation from several years ago and previous head. Behaviour was excellent and had been turned around within a term. And the teachers bent over backwards to help anyone who wanted to do well/extra help/extracurricular etc. I always think that all schools are worth a visit during the day as it is the only way to see things for yourself. Don't forget that you can keep your son on school no.1 waiting list as well.

Ionacat that's really very encouraging:)
I think one of the local academies is much better than the other and has recently been taken over by another well established trust and is trying very hard to turn itself around. Plus, my ds went to a summer camp there last year and loved it.
I've rang them today, they have a space, a transition Sumner camp and were keen for me to meet the senco and have a look around. I'm feeling more positive, thanks.

That sounds well worth pursuing, appeal. As well as the less daunting journey and the fact that your DS already has a positive experience of the school, it would probably be better for him socially, too.

My DB got two buses to school at 11 although he didn't have an ASC. He was scared at first but soon got used to it after a couple of dry runs with DM. I do have an ASC and would have been fine too.