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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get rid of toys?

27 replies

Sister77 · 01/07/2014 19:08

We are fortunate enough to have a room we use as a playroom.
I have 2 children 6 year old DS and 2 year old DD.
We have so many toys that they don't play with 70-80% of them. I am trying with my 6 year olds help to pare them down and donate them to a newly opened nursery in a fairly deprived area.

My DS and DH are moaning and groaning.
They play with ALL their toys, their toys are expensive, they NEED them.
I have dug my heals in and told them anything broken/jigsaws with pieces missing will be binned and some eg. Toy plastic mini animals, learn to walk musical walker (my kids can both walk) etc will go to nursery.
I know feel guilty and like I've wasted money (most are unasked for gifts and hand me downs from son to daughter).
AIBU to get rid? Just because we have the space do we need to fill it? WWYD?
(Sorry longer than I thought)

OP posts:
Original poster
Sister77 · 01/07/2014 19:09

Sorry for spelling etc, on phone

OP posts:
EatDessertFirst · 01/07/2014 19:12

Do it. You'll feel so much better afterwards! Donating them is a lovely idea and your DC will have more space to fill to play with the toys they have left.

There is no point keeping broken toys or toys with missing pieces. Involving them in the process will help them understand that toys don't last forever as well.

Annarose2014 · 01/07/2014 19:13

My mother had a regular clear out when we were kids. Oh the tears! The drama!

But none of it was stuff that we actually played with still. And plenty was left behind. Her conpromise was to allow us to go into the black bin bag after it was all packed up, and retrieve one item. Just because there may have been something chucked in whose sentimental value she didn't realise. That helped.

I remember though realising that in addition to my one thing there was also a picture book about giraffes I loved. Cue a Mission-Impossible-style stealthy creep behind chairs when she was in the kitchen and giraffe book shoved down pants. Grin

Original poster
Sister77 · 01/07/2014 19:16

My DH is more upset than my son, thinks as we have a playroom it should be full of toys broken and unused or not. As a child we had regular "culls".
Grrrr

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taxi4ballet · 01/07/2014 20:16

Send them out for the day with another family member/friend, and 'tidy up' the playroom, and completely rearrange everything. They'll never notice what's gone missing that way!

You are bound to find some unplayed-with toys, so leave them out in a prominent position, and keep all the ones you know they play with often. Chuck the broken stuff away, and put everything else in the loft. Wait a few weeks, and if they haven't asked for it, then it can go.

Worked a treat with us.

MissCalamity · 01/07/2014 21:18

Yanbu! I completely agree with a cull!

Our conservatory is the "playroom" & there are so many things Ds no longer plays with. He gets tons for his birthday & Xmas is 10 days after so it's a bit of a mare. Added to this, newborn DD will probably aquire more toys, so we definitely need to make space. I had a small clear out the other week when DS was out & he's not even noticed.

When I packed away his baby toys, he went bonkers & wanted to play with the building blocks & soft ball straight away Hmm

Maybe pack some toys away & store them and if Ds & Dh haven't noticed within a month, donate them!
Good luck Grin

MissCalamity · 01/07/2014 21:19

I skimmed though the replies & everyone has the same idea!

KirjavaTheCat · 01/07/2014 21:22

We actually did this today, though on a much much smaller scale (we have a toy box, and four ikea storage cubes worth of toys!).

I've decided involving him isn't worth the stress and false declarations of undying love for toys he didn't even know were in there Hmm, and that I'm going to do it while he's in bed from now on. Because despite what he says he won't miss the broken RC car with two missing wheels...

Mim78 · 01/07/2014 21:24

My dh would be so with you on this! I'm afraid I was sentimental and like you dh.
mind you I have the excuse of a new baby to play with old toys, and it would be sexist to throw away dd's toys on assumption ds would not want girls things... (Baby toys of course not gender specific but trying to find virtue in my hoarding abilities...)

BlackeyedSusan · 01/07/2014 21:28

mine were put in the garage. he kept asking for them when he saw them in the garage but they went eventually as he decided that room for new toys and presents was a better idea.

BreadForBrains · 01/07/2014 21:59

Your DH is more upset? I think you have 3 DC! Grin
Anyway, yanbu, I thought pretty much everyone culled toys in a similar fashion. I regularly (every 3 months or so), accumulate a whole load of outgrown things. I guess what I do differently is just doing it without consulting anyone.

The dds are 10 and 8, so I will ask them to find me a bag of outgrown/unwanted clothes and toys, and then when they're at sschool do a quick sweep of anything broken/abandoned.

Ds is 2 so outgrows toys quickly. As soon as he's moved up to the next 'level' of toys, I box up the old ones and take them to the local toddler group I take ds to. I leave a few back as we have lots of visiting dc of all ages.

School frequently ask for old clothes to weigh in for PTA funds so I feel doubly good - clear house and raising money!

I can't see how you couldn't regularly clear out old stuff, my house is still fairly full of toys and I'm forever getting rid. What on earth does your DH propose you are going to do with a baby walker in 3 years time? Confused

hugoagogo · 01/07/2014 22:06

Both me and my db remember our dad taking much loved toys to the tip because 'we were too big for them'. Sad

Longdistance · 01/07/2014 22:09

I cull toys, but I never mention it to dd who's nearly 5. They both have tonnes of toys between, and the same thing, of lots were gifts.

I think, she hasn't played with it, and would only remember it if I brought the subject up.

CheapBread · 01/07/2014 22:23

Agree with culling whilst they're in bed. Think of the (less fortunate) children who will benefit from the charity if you get feel any guilt.

Artandco · 01/07/2014 22:30

We have a one in one out policy for most things as no space.
Even new books atm we get rid of one at the same time ( they still declare love for the tiny hard back books with pictures only of ball/ cat/ dog for tiny babies despite both being able to read), so I figure if they really want a new book / toy they need to learn to donate something they never use/ way too big for first.

I have shown and explained how some children literally have nothing, so they are usually happy to donate something to them ( we send toys/ clothes etc to local women's refuge)

ICanSeeTheSun · 01/07/2014 22:34

I only get rid of DC things with thier permission.

It's not mine to throw away or donate. I wouldn't like DH to decide that something of mine is crap and throw it out so I extend the same curtesy to my DC.

Fox28 · 01/07/2014 22:40

My friends 2 children (5 & 7) really wanted a particular new toy each and some new character bedding - Grin - so she told them if they sorted out old toys they didn't want, they could sell them at a car boot sale and whatever they made they could spend on the new toy.

It worked brilliantly. They have loads more room as they sold lots of toys and only replaced them with 1 each, plus they learnt a great lesson about when they want something then it costs money.

I realise this may not work so well with younger children

ICanSeeTheSun · 01/07/2014 22:43

Fox my DC ask me to put their stuff on Facebook to make a fast buck.

frames · 01/07/2014 22:47

Cull. Don't feel bad about the stuff not getting played with, this is normal! Some how...to much stuff is accumulated without even realising.. Eventually did participated in culling, and now waits for the charity shop to display her donations and gets excited....

CallMeExhausted · 01/07/2014 22:59

I pared down the toy "collection" in the house by the better part of 80% and have never felt better about it.

Now, aside from a doll house, everything fits into 2 chests with lids, and my house is tidy every night before the DCs are in bed.

I have a DD who has a life limiting medical condition, and we have found that people really want to make it "all better" for her, but since they can't, they shower her with gifts. While I understand the sentiment, I found that the resulting mess was making things more difficult for all of us.

Now, I don't refuse gifts - that would be cold, but I do ask for "consumables" if people ask. A small iTunes card for apps, craft supplies, that sort of thing... Otherwise, it is one in, one out, and a big purge before the holidays.

I just do it, I don't negotiate. You would be amazed how much of what is gone isn't missed. Also, my husband is an inveterate pack rat, so his input would not be particularly constructive.

Original poster
Sister77 · 02/07/2014 00:03

Ha! You'd all be so proud of me! I've done it! Just wish I could chuck the lego that I keep strpping on all over the house!
They don't seem to play with toys that much, they want the iPad or iPhone or TV on.

They seem incapable of playing without the TV on. If it's not on they follow me around asking to watch Disney channel!

Well we'll see what happens tomorrow!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sister77 · 02/07/2014 00:05

Not stripping on! Tripping on

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CallMeExhausted · 02/07/2014 01:21

Stripping on Lego... now that is a use I hadn't heard of yet Grin

Good for you for getting it done, even if the Lego manages to somehow breed.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/07/2014 05:20
Jessie's song from Toy Story. You should all be thoroughly ashamed of yourselves... Sad
Original poster
Sister77 · 02/07/2014 07:24

Haha I've done it and I don't feel guilty! The space! No clutter, wardrobes next!

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