To be stressed so much over doggy daycare

[Blossombirdy]

I started a new job working three to four days and have to leave my two little terriers at home from 8am to 6pm... from tomorrow. And I'm extremely stressed about this.

Relative can't help care for child or dogs any more due to, erm borderline personality disorder. Alright, my mum is caught up in her own miserable existence and has refused to help just when the summer holiday starts.

Looked at childcare n can just about manage. Feel dreadful leaving pets at home and there are no pet sitters available in my area. Also, cost is a problem. Friends and neighbours can't help all the time.

Can anyone tell me if their dogs do okay on their own all day or should I look at other options?

Adults have lives that require them to be absent from their children,and/or pets
No pet is so compelling that one cant spend time away working,without angst
Tbis is the thread that will appeal to all the doggie woggie worshippers,and they berate op too

Another one who would love a dog to borrow!

Op post on mn local
Post on mn
Get a new email for it,til you screen responses.and dont give out too much initial detail

i think the same as pp have said , if they are small get a dogflap so they can go in and out when they want , leave toys , food , lots of water , pop home lunch time if possible , they have each other for company , at least you are looking for a solution and not dumping them off in a rehoming centre , good luck with finding a walker for them .

Hi all, thanks for feedback. Luckily, at nine pm I went over to the dog walkers house. Its a new venture for them, and they will be walking my two dogs once or twice a day for a tenner. I am over the moon.

There were other walkers but their books were full.

Circumstances do change and my priority is to work and look after my child n dogs. I'm gonna limit my days to three hopefully once other staff hols are covered.

Also, a packet of fags has helped me destress. All is well! And thanks for the discussion ladies.

Ps there has been a spate of kidnapped dogs in the area lately so I wouldn't get dog flap.

You sound pretty resentful of other's reluctance to no longer help you OP.. Why is that? Drives me nuts when people ask me to look after their kids in the holidays although half of them barely speak to me until two weeks before end of term. Haven't been asked to look after dogs but it's the same thing. If you can't look after them, you'll have to pay someone to do so if you don't like them being left at home. They are terriers anyway so surely they can play in yard?

OP - good to see that you found a resolution!

FWIW my husband and I have 2 dogs and they are home without us (not alone, there are 2 of them) from 7.30pm to 4pm. They have no issues with holding their bladder and bowels because they're let out immediately when I get up (6am) and again before I leave. They're also let out when my DH get's home (usually before 4pm) and we walk them together when I get home (around 5pm). We don't go to bed until 10pm so that's 6 hours of "people time".

The poster above is an alarmist. First, dogs don't need you hovering over them for 4 hours straight, they just need you around. In that posters example they mentioned 2 hours + 4 hours for dinner etc... so 6 hours. I don't know anyone who spends an entire hour, let alone 4, entertaining their dogs. That's just not possible.

My dogs are together, in an airconditioned (or heated) house, with constant access to water and food (they're self-feeding dishes) and our living room (and the blankets and couches therein). They're very spoilt and very well looked after.

They're Jack-A-Ranians so only little anyway and don't need a lot of space.

Watch the programme Secret Life of Dogs it was on recently. They put cameras into homes of people who left their dogs at home whilst they went to work. The majority of the dogs all showed signs of separation anxiety, from toileting house to tearing up furniture and howling. None had been trained to be left alone.

It's possible to leave dogs for short periods (eg up to 3-4 hours) if they are trained to be left. 10 hours is way too much and you obviously already realise this OP.

There are dog-sharing schemes springing up everywhere, people who desperately want a dog but can't have one who might be willing to pop in to walk yours 1-2 times a day, or you could pay a walker or for doggy day care.

It's a shame more employers don't allow dogs. Studies have shown employees who bring dogs to work are happier and more content in their jobs and therefore more productive.

the dogs have each other for company, they just need a walk midday really im sure.

Branleuse, yes you are right.

We saw a dog behaviourist for our dogs (totally unrelated to how long one was left, it was because of some history he'd had with children in a previous home) and she, as a professional, said that they would be absolutely fine for a day, as long as we had a dogwalker. Which we did.

Some people (manin) like to think they're experts but they're really not. Ignore.

I work from 6am until 5pm FROM HOME and the dogs don't acknowledge me the whole time I'm here, even though I'm in the same room as them. They wouldn't give a monkeys if I'm here or not. They sleep the whole time. Like someone else said, they only move when I get up to get a snack or my lunch!!

Whereabouts are you OP? If you're in the SW I'd look after your dogs!!!

Glad you have found a solution op. When I was teaching my Cairn terrier and two cats were left from 8.15 to 4 pm (when ds aged 14 got home). We had a flap and he had two Kong dog toys stuffed with tiny treats. According to neighbours he never made a sound. However, seven years later when we were moving house we had someone to sort the garden and they found a series of tunnels in all the rockeries with various dog toys and socks and stuff in them. Yep he was quiet he was busy creating his own underground world :)

Just saw you found solution - missed that post oops - excellent! Hope it all works out

i didnt think about dog napping when i wrote about the dog flap , but you are right it would be a worry all day , really glad you have got things sorted .

Yep has worked out perfectly ladies..very happy. Dogs were dry andbhappy upon return. Thank goodness and here is to new friends. Think I might take up dog walking myself. Worth their weight in gold.

It's not so much a matter of walking and letting them into the garden, dogs just like to hang out with their humans.

If you work FT, dogs are not for you. The kindest thing would be to rehome them but I already know you won't

Most days nextdoor's small terrier dog is put out in the back garden, not a large back at that, at about 8am. She gets the kids off to school (not before she's infected our ears with the very loud and vile, venomous language she directs at her two young children each morning...we hear it all through the wall). Her chavvy boyfriend usually then comes with his dog. She fusses it to bits and he and she often leave with his dog for the whole day in the car. Meanwhile, her own dog is left looking lost, staring into space. She leaves no toys...there is one old rope he could play with but you don't see him reach for it.
The other night I couldn't sleep because I knew she'd been out all day, hadn't come home, the dog was in the back and I was worried her dog would be left out for the night. Anyhow, I heard her come in at 1.20am but she still didn't bring her dog in until gone 2.30am :( I saw her go out for something off the line and not even acknowlege the dog but she did allow him to follow her in. Next morning, out with her divvy boyfriend again in his car and her poor dog left again. It was hotand we could see he had no water...actually had to climb the fence and lean over and pour water at a distance into his parched bowl.
I look out at him all the time and sometimes he looks up to me and runs to the fence, tail wagging and waits for me. I pass treats under the fence and have 'accidentally' thrown a couple of our dog's toys over to give him something to do.
I have knocked before in the past to mention the water issue. I knocked yesterday as my friend was down with their two dogs and we thought her dog might like to join the fun and have a run in the garden with ours. (He gets no walks). She smiled through gritted teeth and said he 'was fine' and he could be aggressive towards other dogs. I knew it was the wrong time to mention the water issue again and thankfully he did have some today when she buggered off.
I really feel his loneliness and I'd love for his life to change. I don't know how she can sod off all day without a thought for her pet. To leave no water is unforgivable, especially in warm weather. What on earth he'd do if we didn't look out for him (giving him water yesterday, for example) but we can't always be there...and I worry in case we go out before she does and forgets to leave him water and it's a hot day. We chat to him through the fence when we can and apart from what we're already doing... :( It really upsets me that I seem to have more concern for the neighbour's dog than she does. Anyhow, I'm just glad the OP cares for her dogs. I think, while most of the posts here were helpful and constructive, a couple were totally unwarranted. At least the OP cares for her dogs, has a conscience and wants to make provision for them. I wish all dog owners were as responsible as the OP and I'm glad she found a way forward.

Relative can't help care for child or dogs any more due to, erm borderline personality disorder
Op it sounds like your being dismissive of your relatives health condition. With that kind of selfish attitude no wonder they don't want to walk your dog anymore.

Manina, so unnecessary.

This is life. Things change, so you are suggesting that just because op has to take a new job, she is an unfit dog owner. There are plenty dogs who stay home in the day when their owners are at work. The dogs do not suffer serious mental harm by being in their home. I would say that if they were shut up in a cage or in a bathroom for eg, yes that is cruel, but at long as they have their food, shelter and are comfortable and can move about, be in the garden etc, is not FUCKING CRUEL.

So in your opinion, anyone who works cant have a animal? OP should just lose her home and starve the kids, but hey that's ok is it.... Quite cruel for the kids though I think..........

Get a dog flap. That way the dogs have access to outside areas. It's a long time for the dogs to have no Human company though. Could you afford one dog waker once a day?

Oops just seen you have a resolution. Fab!

murphys While I don't agree with the way maninawomansworld couched his replies, it has to be acknowledged that sometimes rehoming IS in the best interests of the dog. Some dogs just can't adapt to being left for several hours, and some dogs DO suffer "serious mental harm", in the form of profound and prolonged stress, even if they are in their own familiar home. Separation anxiety is a harrowing thing to observe in a dog and very difficult to overcome when the owner HAS to be out of the home and doesn't have time to build the dog up gradually to being left.

Personally, I would not advise someone who worked full-time to get a dog unless they had reliable support, be that willing family / friends or a paid dog walker / pet sitter who could pop in on at least a daily, if not twice daily, basis. It is asking a hell of a lot from an animal which thrives on companionship to spend around 40 daytime hours alone and in my opinion, it's too big a compromise on the part of the dog. A selfish human desire to own a dog does not trump the psychological needs of the dog for companionship and stimulation.

Obviously, this is not the OP's situation, and it's great that she has found a solution that will suit her and her dogs. It is the case however that far more dogs suffer some degree of stress at being left for long periods than people think - or perhaps, it would be more accurate to say than people want to think. Out of sight, out of mind...if you're not coming home to your home being actively trashed, it's easy to convince yourself that your dog is "quite happy", because accepting that that may not be the case for at least a proportion of the time means either feeling guilty every time you leave him/her, and who wants to spend their time in a state of perpetual guilt? Or it means having to do something to change things, and that isn't always easy.

LeoandBoosmum report your neighbour to rspca , you know its suffering tell someone , get it some help.

Capitalc

It's a difficult one. I can PM you later if you want me to?

Far too long to leave a dog. I work as a dog walker. Dog walkers are hired to that those who have to be out of the house for long periods know their dogs will be exercised and given company in their absence. In fact, I'm just off to walk two dogs for a client now :)