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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not get what's happened here?

17 replies

BADbadleroybr0wn · 01/07/2014 18:43

I feel really down about a work issue and I just don't understand what's happened.

I'll try and summarise and not make this to long.

I work in a office a small company and a small office. Only 5 girls all 20-30's. I work in sales and woman in question works in marketing.

Last week I was waiting on some info from her for a customer. They had rung a few times in the day for the info and I was still waiting for her. It got to 4pm ish they were still waiting. Thy rung,
I put them on hold and said to marketing 'Can you take this call - I don't really understand the ins and outs and they're waiting for this information' (I raised my voice slightly as we are on opposite sides of the office but didn't shout. Tried to be calm) she said she was too busy to take the call and I had to be patient as she had escalated it. I said in reply they had a deadline. She was just silent so I went back to customer on the phone and said can you use what you've got and when I hear back I'll let you know'. They were fine with that.

Fast forward to the next morning. Just the 2 of is before 8am. She asked if they were ok with the resolution, I said they were fine and I'd just let them know the final update once she had it. Anyway she just exploded about how rude I had been to her and that I screamed across the office. I explained that I found her unhelpful when I needed her support but that she should have taken the call especially as it was a marketing call. She said she hadn't asked me ask her to take it and that 'I was looking at her as if I wanted to kill her' ?! I apologised and said that I was sorry if she thought I had been rude and that I was more frustrated. She seemed to just get more angry. Accused me of always speaking to her like shit and that there 'was more to this' in was completely and we ended the conversation with 'I just don't want to talk to you anymore bad bad Leroy Brown'.

Told my manager what had happened. She has know been saying that I have been ganging up on her, which isn't true.

Although I am quite loud I would also like to think that I am well liked in the office. I have never ever had any complaints about being rude before - and I wonder if my personality makes me a target. I have not hanged up or left her out and I feel really sad to be painted in this way.

Do I just ignore it and hope it blows over? Today was horrible she didn't even look at me and the atmosphere was horrible but I don't feel like I should go over and apologise again when I have not done what I am being accused of.

This was a minor office exchange and she had blown it completely out of proportion.

Sorry for the length. I found today really difficult and thought this would be a better outlet rather than sobbing in my Zumba class.

OP posts:

pluCaChange · 01/07/2014 19:03

First, well done for not bursting out laughing at "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown"! I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face.

However, you're right that this is serious. As far as you are concerned, it has come out of nowhere, and now your boss has weighed in.

When was your last assessment/ appraisal? If recently, you should ask your boss why this wasn't raised then? If it wasn't raised, they can't jump to a position in which you have been "bullying this person for ages" or whatever.

What is the normal protocol for seeking the information that you needed? Perhaps you should insist that the boss draw up a flowchart, to make sure that information flows properly, but also that no-one is exposed to pressure to do extra work which interferes with her ability to meet her own targets.

Another thing which struck me was your comment about being loud. Do you think you're a "typical", networking marketing/sales type, and the others are not, meaning some sort of personality clash. If so, your boss is very wrong to take such a thing out on you.

If there is an HR department, you might also approach them for advice on protocols, being as neutral as possible.

twizzleship · 01/07/2014 19:12

no, you can't 'let it go' because you both need to clear the air so it is a comfortable work environment for you both. talk to your manager again, tell her you feel you have been verbally attacked for no reason other than doing your job and you want her, as the manager, to deal with this. tell her you feel scared that you will be verbally attacked again if you both are left in the room alone. Your colleague behaved in an unprofessional manner and you will not tolerate that. If she refuses to get to the bottom of it then you take it to HR.
I speak from experience, if you ignore this and write it off then it will only happen again. and you will be blamed and held responsible. she's already accused you of looking at her as if I wanted to kill her...what do you think will happen if she goes crying to the manager or HR with these kinds of accusations against you? You haven't spoken up or made your side of it/feelings known to management so you will end up looking like the guilty one.
i would also suggest that you put your side down in an email and send it to your manager.....mine used to have 'selective amnesia' and would have accused me of lying had i not had the emails to prove that i'd been asking for her help and she'd done nothing.
good luck xx

cornishbaby · 01/07/2014 19:17

I'm sorry, but I can't get past 'bad bad Leroy brown'

literally laughing out loud right now. husband thinks I'm nuts

DoJo · 01/07/2014 19:21

I agree that emailing your manager and asking for their input is a good start. Office clashes happen, but someone blowing a fairly minor incident into a massive deal is frustrating and damaging to the whole work environment. If she persists that you have been picking on her, you need to get details of exactly when and what was said that made her feel that way so you can assess your own behaviour and work out if there is something to what she says (even if it is an interpretation/misunderstanding issue) or whether she is full of shit.

I would also ask for clarification of exactly what you are supposed to do in situations where you are basically being asked to pick up the slack on her work. If the call was about something she should have been dealing with, then she needs to either give you a time-frame to tell the caller or speak to them herself to explain.

It's horrible when someone suddenly acts like this, but I think you need to make an extra effort to keep calm, write everything down and keep any communication that you have to have with her professional and factual.

NewtRipley · 01/07/2014 19:21

Great advice from twizzle

I just looked up the lyrics to Leroy Brown in an attempt to understand the relevance. It has no apparent relevance an so seems really rather odd. I think, given that, it is more important that you deal this in a systematic professional way, because she sounds irrational.

Fatteningviolet · 01/07/2014 19:26

Before we get off the point with the 'Bad bad Leroy brown' (baddest man in the whole damn town) thing , could I just point out that I don't think that's what the marketing colleague actually said. I think she probably used OP's RL name but her nickname here is Bad Bad....

As you were

Dolallytats · 01/07/2014 19:27

Bad bad leroy brown is the posters MN name, so the the colleague just said posters name.

eddielizzard · 01/07/2014 19:27

second twizzle too.

Dolallytats · 01/07/2014 19:28

Cross post with Fattening!

YouTheCat · 01/07/2014 19:29

Isn't 'badbadleroybrown' the OP's mumsnet name?

OP, keep talking to your manager/HR and make sure you are cool as a cucumber. Don't speak to the other person unless there are people around who can verify that you haven't been bullying her.

NewtRipley · 01/07/2014 19:32

Oh Jeez, i am on a roll of stupidity today

I almost wish she had started singing random song lyrics .......

redandyellowbits · 01/07/2014 19:34

She didn't actually say 'bad bad Leroy Brown', the OP is just using her MN nickname instead of her real name!

OP I agree with twizzleship. Talk to your manager again, the other woman sounds like she will exaggerate things in the future and you can't risk her making multiple claims against you before you respond. Let your manager know what happened and really stress how much it's been blown out of proportion.

NoodleOodle · 01/07/2014 19:45

Te he Newt.

sykadelic · 01/07/2014 20:01

My colleague pulls this kind of crap all the time. Normally "ugh I'm busy, take a message". As you know, they tend to shoot the messenger so I've had to come up with lies/lines, depending on how aggro the person is. "She just stepped out", "She'll be back in an hour or so", "I'm sorry that's not my department so all I can do is take a message" etc etc.

So aside from what was said above about the situation itself, I'd give the manager some "solutions" that you think would work.

For example:

ask for more training on what is involved with processing that side as you really felt like you couldn't explain, to the customers satisfaction, what the issue was/is and what a reasonable timeframe is.
discuss having an e-mail system instead. I'd tell the manager that as everyone is quite busy, you've noticed it's difficult for people to be interrupted in the middle of other projects, and that you think sending e-mails would be easier, because then people can reply at their leisure and don't feel harassed. That way you can just call the client back with the reply from marketing or whatever department, verbatim, rather than them needing to take the call.

In the e-mail instance, you would want to know what to say if you hadn't heard back from marketing. You can't leave a client hanging so (after telling them you'll take their name/number and call them before the end of the day) when it got to about 1/2 an hour before you were scheduled to call them back, you would either need to escalate to a manager/supervisor to call them back same day, or whether you e-mail marketing again (this time marked "urgent - reply needed immediately" and cc'd to manager/supervisor)

Original poster

BADbadleroybr0wn · 01/07/2014 20:18

Hello everyone. Thanks for the replies and hahaha at badbadleroybrown - I did mean my mn nickname, she used my real name and no, I wouldn't have kept a straight face if she had!

I think I will go back to my manager.

The company is so small. It's ridiculous. No HR department. There was a "re-organisation" and I was the fresh meat. The whole company is 12 strong so, although people try and be formal, as you can imagine it is relaxed.

We started roughly at the same time about two years ago and - this is the the other odd thing. In that time we have never had a cross word, so its not like we've often butt heads.

I will continue to be calm and won't approach her again. It just really breaks my heart to be labelled something I'm not.

Thanks again

OP posts:

pluCaChange · 01/07/2014 22:43

Even a company with no HR department is not off the hook.

If she's only now complaining about you, she should be asked to explain why now, though not in your presence, as that would be inappropriate. If she wants it on record, though, she must allow you to go on record, too. If she won't go on record, though, she shouldn't be allowed to repeat things like this.

New reporting/email/work systems definitely a good idea anyway, for tracking performance!

FunkyBoldRibena · 01/07/2014 22:47

What has happened here is that she is out of her depth and because you called across the office, she felt that you drew attention to this and she is deflecting by accusing you of hostility and exaggerating your actions by calling you rude. Takes the attention away from her lack of knowledge.

I'd keep reflecting back to her not getting the info for the client and the risk of laying the sale which of course is your reason for being there in the first place.

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