To be really worried about my DD's next few years?

[MrsWinnibago]

Because of watching this video

I can't help but be a worrier...DD is nearly 10 and not over-endowed with confidence as it is...but this video really upset me.

So many people use this phrase and on MN and in rl I see it always being minimized "It's just a saying" etc...but it's part of the problem re girls in society and I'm upset about the future....I remember turning 12 and suddenly losing all my confidence...spent a horrid four years or so till I regained it.

BUmp

Nobody!?

I'm not giving up! Watch the link dammit!

It's up to you as her mum though as well. As long as you can show her the love and confidence she needs then she should be OK. I only have experience as the daughter and can honestly say my mum didn't make me feel at all confident, I had to find it myself.

I know what you mean, but you might be surprised how well your DD copes. My DD is blossoming away from primary school, I think she has more confidence now than she ever did. Senior school seems to have helped with that massively. I think you just have to support her through whatever happens. I am sure boys of this age group have similar problems with confidence.

Yes...I'm sure boys have similar issues related to being "manly" and shit.

It does bother me though....in the vid the change between the smaller girls and the older ones was remarkable.

My dd does a sport and is very good. The boys are often encouraged to go against her hard as she is only a girl.
I never liked this however now they realise how good she is it has become a compliment if they hold their own.

I think she is awesome as do those who see her in action. Unfortunately away from her sport she is given a hard time by her peers. Its my job to keep her confidence high.

Just watched it. The little girls are so sweet, unfortunately it's true there's a point in life where girls become seen as just 'girls' and its sad.

drummer why does she get a hard time away from her sport? What do you mean?

I think the issue here is more about how we use language and how demeaning women is so deeply embedded in our society.

I know I will say something like "you big girl" to Dh if he's being a wimp about something - It's wrong but I still do it. Note to self - Try harder.

That's my point Stokey and yet...and yet we so often see people minimizing this behaviour. On mn I see people saying "Oh it's only a saying" about similar phrases....I pull people up ALL the time and in front of my children so that they may do the same.

She is a strong individual, physically, mentally and emotionally.
She has more stamina than the other children in her class and does well in competitive situations.
She is also very clever and intelligent so is near the top of her class when it comes to schoolwork. This gives her confidence.

In my experience people cant cope with individuals who are happy to live their lives the way they choose. Name calling, excluding her from games, snide comments are things she deals with frequently.

It is her inner strength that gets her through (also when two of the boys in her class started pushing her around physically, she slapped one around the face and landed the other on his arse! I dont think they have ever forgiven her).

I believe our role as mothers is to counter this kind of attitude by showing our daughters that they can be and achieve anything they want to.

My mother regularly told me this and I never felt the 'like a girl pressure'.
I once had a client complain that I took work from the men, I politely pointed out that I did just as good a job and on occasions better than the men that shut her up.

Your DD sounds fab, drummer!

I'm not nervous about my DDs future at all. I really see society changing positively towards women. Everywhere you look there are powerful women screaming a big fuck you to the glass ceiling.

These adverts will help. By the time my DD is a grown up things will be much better.

I once made a comment about "throwing like a girl" during a company rounders game. Not directed at anyone within earshot. I said it as I was picking up the ball, my subsequent throw went at about a 45 degree angle to my intended direction.

The only "girl" who heard me was a very competent tennis player and golfer, and, it subsequently transpired, could throw a lot better than I could. (I hadn't touched a ball of any kind in about 20 years.)

My daughters run. And run. They laugh at the suggestion that they should be restricted by their gender (and know that, in Year 5 and Year 8 they can beat any of the boys in their year at long distance running).

But I have to say, they wouldn't be in the least bit insulted if someone commented negatively about 'running like a girl'.

Thank you Sally. She is amazing although I suspect that in a few years I may well be cursing her attributes. I have a feeling there will be fireworks in my house!

She does have her moments though.
In some ways now I think its much harder to be growing up. I was just me, I didnt think about the future and had much more freedom. I want her to be strong enough to cope with whatever life throws at her.