To be fed up with DH?

[soapybubbles123]

Since DS was born (he's nearly 4 months) DH has been quite selfish with sleep. He works full time in a demanding job with nasty shift patterns so when he's working I do all the night feeds etc and try to make sure that he gets a decent lie in on his days off.

I have not has a full nights sleep since DS was born and haven't had a lie in since we last stayed with my parents. I am exhausted and going back to work in September.

This morning I got up with DS when he woke up early, went into our bedroom a few hours later to get some laundry and went dizzy. DH said 'I'm worried about you' and then went straight back to sleep. He's still there now.

I'm this close to leaving for the day and letting him get on with it.

Tbh that's probably the best thing you can do. Don't give him a choice, make him get on with looking after his baby.

If he's working FT then fair enough he gets priority for sleep but it wouldn't kill him to help you out and keep you topped up on sleep!

It's hard isn't it?
My dh works 12hr shifts, 6 in a row - 3 days then 3 nights.. so over a 7 day period iuswim. also ends on a night shift so he sleeps the whole day and is awake all night so then sleeps late the next day. Oh and then he's back to work again to do it all again.
My dd is nearly 5 and does very little. He has never got up early to take her to school, I have never had a lie in. I work pt supply teaching and usually only do a day or so a month. I have just finished a ft long term placement which lasted 3 months. Despite constant nagging and explaining I need more help with housework and cooking on his days off he didn't really help.

My point is.. don't end up ;like me years down the line. DH got used to me doing everything whether I work the odd day or all week. Habits are hard to break. Explain how u feel. How exhausting it is. how u need his support.
Good luck xx

that should be HE does very little... sorry

Why when he has a day off is he not doing the night feeds or giving you a lie in?

We've divided it up now so that I do nights and DH does mornings. In the weekdays I might not get any extra sleep, or I might get up to an hour. In the weekends I get an extra 2 hours or so.

It is a godsend and so absolutely necessary.

We both work full time now, and DS is 2. It took me about 7 or 8 months to convince DH how necessary it was for him to share the burden. For the next one due in October we'll be doing it right from the start, even though I'll be on leave. It just isn't possible to function long term no proper sleep, so you have to get through to him, the sooner the better.

At the very least he should be giving you a lie-in on every single morning he doesn't work.

Have you talked to him about it? Men aren't as intuitive as women - basically you need to spell things out to him!
Sit down with your calendar and schedule in a lie in for yourself. I've found it's essential that they know the night before that they are up with baby in the morning.
I've found it frustrating that when DH gets his lie in I take kids down stairs as soon as they wake up, he just gets them in bed with us and keeps them quiet with the iPod which wakes me up.
So I've found it helps to establish 'rules' of the lie ins.

Have you spoken to him about it? Not just hinted or expected him to realise. Just say, I'm shattered and need a break.