To invite my estranged mum and dad to my ds christening?

[Fattymcbatty]

My mum and dad divorced on bad terms - he walked out, seemingly out of the blue, after 30 years of marriage, about 14 years ago. They haven't set eyes on each other since. He met and remarried another woman quite quickly. She, erm, married gin. I get on well with my dad and step mum though only see them a few times a year due to distance. I was always soooo close to my mum, but her relationship with the bottle has ruined that and while I still love her very much she has been of no practical help to me over the last 12 years, which have included my marriage, miscarriage, dc1, dc2, divorce, remarriage, miscarriage x 2, dc3, dc4. I have, I feel, been unable to invite my dad and step mum to my wedding(s!) or any of the three christenings. We are making plans for our last child to be christened in the autumn and want to push the boat out a bit to mark the occasion. I would so love to invite my dad and step mum, who have always been so gracious about not being invited previously, but there's no way I can't invite my mum (who has always said she will never set foot in the same room as them). Dad and SM are in good health, my mum isn't, so mums side of the family will probably vilify me for upsetting her by inviting dad and SM. Help!!

I think that you should make your children's things about your children and not make your immediate family major events about your parents any more. You've done that enough and there reaches a point where it is unfair to expect that from you any more.
so say this is the date of the christening. You are all invited. This day is about my son. I expect everyone to be civil. Anyone who feels unable to be so, is free to not attend.

You invite who you want to invite and tgey will make their own decisions

I agree, invite who you want, and let them decide if they will attend.

Your mother must still be in love with your father to take to the bottle and refuse to attend anything they are attending. Unless the SM is the OW, in which case she probably simply hater them and nothing to do with being in love with your dad.

Yes, invite who you want. We have had the same problem with my mum and it hurt my dad terribly, not being included, although he was extremely gracious about it at the time.

FWIW, my mum and dad have been divorced for 35 years and mum will still try to guilt us into excluding dad. We all firmly tell her it's her choice- come to the event and act like a grown up who puts their children first, or behave like a spoiled child and miss out. We also tell her that if there's any 'atmosphere' on the day then she is the one who might not get invited next time.

Well since your dad missed two weddings & three Christenings, I think he's due a turn!

Especially if you get on with him & stepmum!

I'd invite them & your mum can decide whether to be there or not.

How come she has always had the invitations in the past?