Hello all.
This doesn't really have to be decided right now, (but certainly at some point in the next few months as we will need to book hotel accommodation in advance and need to know if to book a family or double room), but just canvassing opinion.
Me and DH are expecting our first baby (DD) in Sept. We have also been invited to 2 weddings next summer. The first wedding is in June (so baby will be about 9 months) and I'm a bridesmaid at it. My friend (the bride) has already basically said no young children invited, and my Mum has kindly offered to do childcare for the day for me and DH to go. The other wedding is early September (so DD should be just over 11 months) and is a close friend of DH. The bride and groom have already been very clear that it's a very family orientated sort of wedding and that our DD would be very welcome to come. However, my Mum has also offered to look after DD for the day on this wedding so we can have the day together. I strongly think we should take her up on these kind offers as they are likely to be the only two baby-free days we will get together throughout the first year of DD's life (my Mum has been very open in saying she doesn't mind providing childcare for special occasions / emergencies, but doesn't want it to be a regular thing).
I really think me and DH should take the opportunity to have some time just the two of us and let our hair down a bit, as I strongly suspect it'll be much needed by then! I also think taking a baby to a wedding is going to mean the whole day is going to revolve around doing nappy changes and feeds, and trying to ensure baby doesn't cry during the ceremony, and ultimately just make the whole day quite stressful. Then either we will have to keep DD up much later than usual to stay until a 'polite' time and have a very over-tired irritable baby on our hands, or one of us inevitably me is going to have to call it a night at about 7pm to take DD back to the hotel room.
DH however seems to find it bizarre that I would consider taking up my Mum's offer at all for the second wedding since DD would be invited and he therefore thinks she should go with us. He is also talking about missing a lot of wedding number 1 (e.g, the ceremony where I'm a bridesmaid) so that he can spend most of the day looking after DD, and just pop in for a couple of hours in the evening, even though my mother has already offered to babysit for the day (and she's very competent with children, having been a childminder for nearly 20 years)!
Am I being a horrendous mother by contemplating having a couple of child-free days just the two of us, and thinking we should make the most of this? It is worth noting that I will have to go back to work after my years maternity leave so at some point me and DD will have to get used to being separated anyway, and 9-months onwards seems a good age to start to me?