MIL slagged my family off

[2boysandcounting1]

My MIL stayed for the weekend for our DS birthday. We went to my aunts for a party as in pregnant with 2 young children she offered to do it for us so i could relax more. My MIL was asked if she wanted to come and she said she would. She knew about this in advance of her stay.

When we were there she seemed to enjoy herself and i made a point of sitting with her so she didn't feel uncomfortable but when we got back on the night i became ill and ended up upstairs most of the night to be by the bathroom. I could here her slagging off the day. She said things like it was to OTT and didn't understand why we were all given presents (my aunt gave everyone a little something such as a nice piece of soap etc) my MIL also went on about the food and said she only cut up a bit of onion and peppers etc. To make it worse my DH joined in with what she was saying and agreeing with her.

She said that people with money are not everything and her garden is as nice as my aunts as if its a competition and just before we come home we sat in the front room to have a drink and she said it was like sitting in a court room. She said something negative about each family member. Then she went on about our wedding which was 8 years ago saying my other aunt( who has now passed away) asked her to wait to go into the reception room as she said myself and DH should see it first, my aunt has spent all morning decorating the room as we had reception in a pub so had to have help with decorating room. My MIL was upset with this, i didn't have a clue at the time. She has also criticised the content of our DS christening saying it was to long etc.

this caused a fallout with dh and i when his mom went home as i said it made me feel like every occasion we have there is a problem with his mom and it has left a bad taste in my mouth. It has also made my sons birthday feel like a farce as i thought she had enjoyed herself. Feel quite upset about it all as we have had alot of help from my family with DIY etc and none from ILs and which is fine but i said to my DH if he felt like that about my family then why accept the help.

feel rubbish at the moment. Do you think im blowing it out of proportion? Sorry longer than i thought!

If drink was involved its even more understandable (although still horrible).
People talk crap when they are drunk.

I wouldn't expect my OH to have pulled up his mother even if she was being really mean. There is no way, with his upbringing, that he would have been able to do it.

If he was joining in with the bitching that would be a different issue.

The fact that you were not meant to hear makes a difference. Perhaps he though it was best just to let his pissed mother get on with it rather than cause a big scene?

Different if she was doing it in front of you and he just stood there doing nothing.

My mum can be quite bristly in "posh events" and enjoys finding something to criticise. (Lovely house but did you see those curtains!) I think she has low self worth around people she thinks are posher than her and feels pissed off at the feeling.
Of course later, when she's telling her friends about this posh do she can't make it sound grand enough!
I'd imagine DH knows her well enough just to agree especially when she's had a drink.
She feels inadequate and you need to just understand that for the sake of your DH.

Classic Mil I am afraid.

Just speak for her when it comes to events next time,

"Dear MIl its so and so bday but I am not going to put you on the spot and ask you to come and I know you dont like it, you said x y and z" and so on.

I think you should text them both saying 'dear MIL . Im sure by now DH has told you that I heard everything you had to say about my wedding, DS's birthday, the christening while i was being sick in the bathroom. Although I've always enjoyed having you at these events, it probably best if you don't attend any more as I found your comments very hurtful. Do ring me if you want to discuss things.

I like that, Sid, although I'd leave out the last sentence but then again I'm not a very nice person