Regarding this peanut allergy

[murphys]

Both my dc do martial arts. There is a boy at their class (D) who imo is a pfb. I have known them for a while as he was at primary with my ds. When chatting with his mum, it would appear that she is still sitting with him doing homework, doing his projects for him, if you have a conversation with the boy, the mum will automatically answer his questions for him. The boy is 16.

I know that he has an allergy to peanuts as in a previous conversation, mum wouldn't allow him to go on school camp as she said that she couldn't take the risk that peanut butter wouldn't be served there in sandwiches.

They have done marital arts in the same class for 3 years now. Last week dc came home and said that before they were to start sparring, Shifu (instructor) asked everyone is anyone had eaten peanuts in the last two days. My dc are great fans of peanut butter, ds said he had a sarmie that day. Shifu then said that D's mother had requested that if anyone has eaten peanuts, then they are not allowed to spar with D. So, as ds is D's sparring partner usually, ds had to sit out until such a time as they rotated the class.

Last week I was a bit surprized by this, but now I just overheard the dc who are on holidays now. Ds offers to make dd sandwich. He just made her a peanut butter one. She gets it and I hear her gasp and say 'oh no I cant eat this as we are going to class tonight'.....

Do you think aibu in thinking that we shouldn't have to change our diets and fret about what we eat in case they do sparring this evening in class? This hasn't been an issue in all the years they have been going with D and the mum didn't mention that he had any allergic incidents recently.

[Holidayfun]

How complicated is it not eating a peanut sandwich. You have no 'evidence' that the mother is making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe the mother hasn't given the OP all the details. Wouldn't it be kinder to show a little compassion to a worried mother. If anyone is making a mountain out of a molehill it's the OP. It's simple, eat a peanut sandwich and don't spar with this particular child, don't eat one and spar with the child. That's the approach I would take, but each to their own. I'm signing off this thread now.

[mistlethrush]

No, she's expecting the children not to eat peanut butter sandwiches (or anything else that contains nuts) for 4 days a week. That could be a major change in diet. But it has, apparently, not caused any problems in the past so why the problem now?

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I agree holiday.

[Thumbwitch]

When did peanut butter get to be such a major part of people's diets that it's a problem to not eat it?
I don't really remember anyone eating it when I was growing up.

[sydlexic]

Epipens are in short supply ATM, due to a problem with Jext pens. If the pens were slightly out of date then it would be sensible to take extra precaution. This is the only logical conclusion I can think of.

[mumteedum]

Sydlexic.. What's wrong with jext? I've had epipens replaced with jext

[Tentedjuno]

Yes, mumtedum, I was recently given a Jext, as Epipens were in short supply, then it was recalled and changed back to an Epipen. I thought this was because mine was part of a batch of sub-standard Jexts.

[mumteedum]

I will Google the jext issue. Thanks

[mistlethrush]

Thumb - I eat Peanut butter because I'm a vegetarian and nuts are a source of protein for me... They are a staple in many countries (and in such countries I understand that a peanut allergy is extremely rare which is very interesting)

[murphys]

I don't really remember anyone eating it when I was growing up.

I was brought up on peanut butter sandwiches. Pb and banana, pb and jam, pb and syrup which is all favourites of my dc too.

But its not just peanut butter that we eat a lot of, its nuts in general. We have curry at least once a week, where I add nuts, i use them in baking, I always have a snack pack of nuts in my bag and in my car always handy when on school runs , i even add nuts to my salads usually. And every second chocolate has nuts in them. We even get peanut butter KitKats now, and every chocolate bar we get, there is an option of a peanut butter flavour one. In fact, even my dogs biscuits are peanut butter flavour. I don't live in UK, and as Mistle has pointed out, it is most likely that we eat more of it here in S Africa, than in European countries. D is also the only person that I know of that has a nut allergy. Perhaps it is more prominent is certain areas, not sure why though I craved brazil nuts when I was pregnant so I ate loads, but my dc are luckily not affected

I did see D and his mum at class this week. I sat and chatted with her, and I did not mention the ruling from last week. Neither did she. They did not spar this time but D and ds were doing gentlemans push ups (which is also close contact with one another) and there was no mention of what ds had eaten. Before we left for class I made him brush his teeth and wash his hands as he had made dd a sandwich earlier that day. After class ds said nothing was mentioned about it. I couldn't chat to Shifu either after as we had to rush off.

Of course I do not want to endanger anybodies lives by subjecting them to something they are clearly allergic to, I just feel that in THIS situation it is odd that such a request be made out of the blue after so many years, then the next week it isn't even mentioned. We will continue to eat as we usually do, dc will wash hands, brush teeth and take precautions as necessary, and I will ensure that ds doesn't lose a lesson in class again and will spar / train with another class member if he has eaten something that day that D may react to.

[pashmina696]

there is currently a nationwide shortage of junior epipens and junior jext pens, they should be back in stock very soon however - there is no guarantee a long expired one will work.

[GoringBit]

Leaving the original question to one side, this has been a really interesting thread. I've always known that nut allergies can be fatal, but hadn't appreciated that the triggers could be things that I would have previously thought insignificant, or rather, not likely to cause a problem. It's been a real eye-opener, so thanks to all.

[FishWithABicycle]

In the absence of any evidence that this mum is over-reacting, I think she has to have the right to take what steps she deems necessary to protect her child (although as previous posters have said, a 16 year old who is still relying on his mum to protect him rather than learning how to take appropriate precautions himself is going to need to do a lot of learning in the next couple of years)

HOWEVER it is very unreasonable of the martial arts instructor to make your son sit out anything due to having eaten a peanut butter sandwich. You've paid for the class and he has the right to participate fully - with another sparring partner if necessary.

[murphys]

Goring Absolutely agree with you.

[ShinySilver]

OP was it just peanuts your son is stopped from eating before training or was it all nuts?

When a child with peanut allergy started at my son's school we were all told not to include any nuts in lunchboxes - so no peanut butter, almonds, cereal bars, etc etc.

I have always thought this seemed a rather over-the-top reaction, and would love to put almonds in the lunchbox for a healthy snack.

I would be really interested to know from those of you on the thread with nut allergy experience if you think this rule is right or not? Are people with peanut allergy allergic to other nuts? I do know the mother and she has never mentioned other nuts when talking about the allergy.
And reading this thread has also made me wonder if an allergic reaction could be triggered in school by another child having peanut butter on their toast in the morning regardless of what happens at lunchtime...... (I guess this whole issue is rather more complicated than I thought )

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

If you are allergic to nuts then it's usually advised to avoid all nuts. Although technically a peanut isn't a nut. Most schools are nut free now, aren't they?

[mistlethrush]

I have a friend who is definitely allergic to nuts generally, not just peanuts (but is fine with seeds).

[ShinySilver]

I don't know if all schools are nut free - I had assumed not as ours wasn't before the child with the allergy started.

I can imagine it would make sense for the allergic child to avoid eating all nuts but have never been convinced as to why everyone else needs to if the allergic child doesn't have a proven allergy to other nuts. Maybe he could be allergic though like your friend mistlethrush. Maybe I should ask his Mum!

[mistlethrush]

DS's school is currently nut-free, and kiwi-free. Last year they were strawberry free too, but that child moved on so the strawberry ban was lifted (much to DS's delight).

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

Speaking from personal experience - my daughter is allergic to peanuts, almonds and, most particularly brazil nuts (that's the worst one), as well as celery (not even related to a nut).

Curiously, she is fine with hazelnuts (and coconut, although that is technically not a nut).

She also cannot eat stoned fruits (like peaches, nectarines, cherries, apricots) because they are related to the almond.
She cannot even be in the same room as peanuts or brazils, however, can be in the same room as, but not be in direct contact with almonds and their related fruits or celery.

Confused? I know - me too!
Best for places like schools to ban all nuts, as the children are "captive", so to speak and have nowhere else to go to escape.

There are lots of alternative healthy snacks other than nuts. It is just not worth it to risk the health of another child. Once they are adults, they can look after themselves, but as children they are reliant upon adults being responsible and thoughtful.

The number of parents who simply ignored requests from the school to not add nutty products to their children's lunchboxes when my daughter was at school is unbelievable. How hard is it, really?

[BarbarianMum]

I think the advice should be specific to the allergy of the affected child.

So if said child is allergic to peanuts and other nuts and reacts to aerosol exposure (tiny fragments of nuts in air) then yes, I think that advice is reasonable.

My ds1 was allergic to peanuts but not to other nuts (although he was advised not to eat them either) and did not react to aerosols, so although I wouldn't have been happy for him to sit next to someone eating peanuts or have them in the classroom, he didn't require a blanket ban of all nuts.

Likewise, I once worked in an open plan office block where all oranges/orange juice was banned from the second floor as someone there was highly allergic to oranges and would react if someone else peeled one 8 desks away.

It's horses for courses really.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

Shiny - most children who have an allergy will have taken an allergy test at their local hospital, so it will be proven and appropriately documented. What makes you think it will be unproven?

[ShinySilver]

Wow - kiwi and strawberry free!
My children wouldn't eat them anyway so that wouldn't cause me any trouble

[BarbarianMum]

Evans I guess the picture is complicated because many peanut allergic children are advised to avoid tree nuts even if their skin prick results/bloods are negative. Sometimes the reason given is the dangers of cross-contamination, sometimes because of the risk of the allergy spreading. Some are told to carry on eating tree nuts if they have eaten them without problems previously, some are told to stop.

It does depend a lot on the child and the doctor involved.

[Purpleroxy]

It must be terrifying to have a child with an allergy like this. She must be very frightened and it's easy for you to comply with the request to eat your peanut products on days which aren't on the day of the class/the day before. I have no idea whether she is being ott or whether she is a nice person or not but I think it's just easier to comply with the request and be thankful this is the only way allergies affect your dc.