Regarding this peanut allergy

[murphys]

Both my dc do martial arts. There is a boy at their class (D) who imo is a pfb. I have known them for a while as he was at primary with my ds. When chatting with his mum, it would appear that she is still sitting with him doing homework, doing his projects for him, if you have a conversation with the boy, the mum will automatically answer his questions for him. The boy is 16.

I know that he has an allergy to peanuts as in a previous conversation, mum wouldn't allow him to go on school camp as she said that she couldn't take the risk that peanut butter wouldn't be served there in sandwiches.

They have done marital arts in the same class for 3 years now. Last week dc came home and said that before they were to start sparring, Shifu (instructor) asked everyone is anyone had eaten peanuts in the last two days. My dc are great fans of peanut butter, ds said he had a sarmie that day. Shifu then said that D's mother had requested that if anyone has eaten peanuts, then they are not allowed to spar with D. So, as ds is D's sparring partner usually, ds had to sit out until such a time as they rotated the class.

Last week I was a bit surprized by this, but now I just overheard the dc who are on holidays now. Ds offers to make dd sandwich. He just made her a peanut butter one. She gets it and I hear her gasp and say 'oh no I cant eat this as we are going to class tonight'.....

Do you think aibu in thinking that we shouldn't have to change our diets and fret about what we eat in case they do sparring this evening in class? This hasn't been an issue in all the years they have been going with D and the mum didn't mention that he had any allergic incidents recently.

[Thumbwitch]

Re. certain countries (are we allowed to call them third world now or is there a different name for them?) not really understanding peanut etc. allergies - would it be too far-fetched to think that their babies, not having such good access to emergency medical facilities, might die from their first anaphylactic reaction, so they wouldn't really need to think about older children having epipens and so on?

As an aside, I don't know about the UK epipen dates, but the Australian ones only last a year! And they're bloody expensive (I have a friend whose DS3 is anaphylactic to peanuts)

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

There are probably people all over the world dying needlessly, just because their allergies have not been recognised.

Tragic!!

Thank goodness our medical profession recognises and tests for such allergies. Now all we have to do is convince the unaffected general public that it is not a made-up condition just to annoy them.

[BarbarianMum]

I found it worse than the nut allergy tbh - bloody stuff shows up in all sorts of unexpected places and,like you say, no-ones ever heard of it. Ds1 outgrew milk allergy at 3, peanuts at 6 and celery at 7 thank God (although I then promptly developed gluten sensitive Crohns to restore the cosmic balance).

[nostress]

What epipens were recalled? Im worrying now!

[Runesigil]

Yes, genuine peanut allergies CAN be that serious.

[TillyTellTale]

CornChips Pfft. Did you not realise that every Tom, Dick and Harriet's mother is entitled to hear about your child's medical history and prescriptions in detail.

You'd better start arriving to swimming early. You need to discuss your DC's medical records with all the other parents. Don't go leaving anyone out!

Not sure whether to do a or a , to be honest.

I actually used to do martial arts myself as a teen. I would have been quite happy to sit out a sparring period, for the sake of someone else's health. I am trying to imagine the reaction of my old Master if I had behaved the way the OP seems to think would be reasonable.

I think I would have been kicked out of the school!

[BalloonSlayer]

Only a shortage of Junior Epipens was mentioned.

The child in question would be on an adult one.

[ChampagneAndCrisps]

My daughter did react at a dancing class once - she was holding hands with a girl who had eaten peanuts earlier

That said, she can't wrap him up in cottonwool forever. He needs to know how to recognise symptoms of allergy, treat himself and take responsibility for himself.

[CornChips]

[sigh]

the reason why there is a shortage of Juniors is because an adult version of another brand was recalled in the EU and so juniors were prescribed for adults as a temporary measure.

But anyway.

[CornChips]

tbh - I am not sure up to what age juniors are recommended anyway. DS is 4. That issue has not hit us yet.

[Longtalljosie]

DD plays with a little girl at school with a peanut allergy. I don't let her have peanut butter on her toast before school. Not because anyone's told me to - because I would never forgive myself if I harmed her by prioritising a spread over her health!

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

Nicely said, Josie!

[MyFairyKing]

"Sorry, still sounds like she's attention seeking via her sons allergy to me.''



Her child's allergy could kill him. Imagine being so out of control that you have no idea if your son could hop on a bus, come into contact with an allergen and die or just carry on his day as normal. I'd want the entire world to know if my child had such a severe and life-threatening allergy.

Regardless of the mother, this child is still at risk and it does not negate the seriousness of the situation.

[mumteedum]

I'm a life long nut allergy sufferer. My mother hates nuts so certainly didn't avoid. I'm 40 so it's not new.

I've had my allergy longer than they've had epipens though I carry one now. I've been hospitalised several times.

My reaction is anaphylactic. It's triggered by yes being in same room or touching something that someone else has touched if they've had nuts.

I tell airlines before I fly because in that environment you can't avoid it. I have left rooms/parties or swapped seats in buses or trains or cinemas. You can't avoid them always. You learn to manage it.

Honestly I find it a nuisance but never worries me. My mum on the other hand is much much more worried than me. She was the one dealing with it from me being a baby. Only today at lunch was she laying it on thick to the waitress who served us lunch.

I think if you don't have allergies then you don't understand. You are being unfair to this mum. She didn't tell your son to sit out that was the instructor. He should have told the allergic boy to sit out. He'll have a lifetime of such things. He'll get used to it.

[mumteedum]

Oh and I don't believe it has anything to do with being too hygienic either. Apparently in Spain it is much rarer than here. That was from the consultant who was Spanish when I finally got my epipens at age of 29.

Epipens go out of date quickly. I've rejected ones at chemist before as they've only got 3 months left before expiry if been sat on shelf. I'm not great at checking when expiry date is. As I say, had allergy long before epipen so doesn't massively worry me if I don't have in date one for a bit.

[fascicle]

CornChips, type of Epi-pen needed is based on weight. I think it's 30 kg + for the 'adult' (or non junior) Epi-pen. Worth keeping an eye on this nearer the time - I had to prompt our surgery to prescripe an 'adult' dosage Epi-pen rather than the junior one - they didn't ask about weight.

[WhatWouldCaitlinDo]

I think there is just a greater awareness of allergies these days. My dad is allergic to shellfish, my uncle is allergic to eggs, my sister is allergic to milk and animal hair. We were all born allergic to things.

It's not a choice, nor an awareness thing.

[BalloonSlayer]

I don't think the OP is denying the existence of severe allergies.

She is wondering whether the child in question actually has such bad allergies. especially since she has known them some time and has never encountered this before.

One of my DCs has bad allergies. Not bad enough to react to being in the same room as someone who has eaten something. But epipens, piriton, severe caution etc. And worse than people I could name who have claimed unlikely allergies. (1. someone who claimed to have a SEVERE allergy to something that my allergy nurse said it was impossible to be allergic to. 2. someone who claimed to be allergic to milk because they had a couple of McDonald's milkshakes and then threw up. 3. Someone who claimed to be seriously ill due to gluten allergy then seen to be tucking into bread, This list of course does not include : allergic to homework (available on a t-shirt) or allergic to spiders.)

There are a lot of people around who muddy the waters about food allergies, and make people doubt people with genuine food allergies. As I say, I know quite a few.

I would be deeply suspicious of someone who makes a big song and dance about the aspects of her child's allergy that others have to make efforts to deal with (eg excluding someone who ate a peanut butter sandwich a couple of days ago), but who doesn't seem to be bothered about the aspects of allergy management that THEY actually have to do (eg getting up-to-date Epipens and checking with a school camp about what they serve).

[Thumbwitch]

My grandad had a shellfish allergy. It seems to have come out again in Ds2 - we're waiting for the consultant to do the tests to we can check. Not sure how bad DS2 is yet - Grandad seemed to think shellfish would kill him if he ate them, so we never did around him of course! - but so far DS2 has (first time) thrown up (didn't cross my mind it might be allergy) and (second time) come out in full-on wheal and flare reaction on all his limbs, his face and his buttocks. Don't want to trial a third time without getting a better idea of what might happen...

[CornChips]

Thanks fascicle.:)

[Holidayfun]

You sound mean. Wouldn't this be a good opportunity to teach your children how sometimes we have to look out for other people, to help people, consider others needs that maybe aren't as lucky as us to be healthy? How do you talk to your children about people that have disabilities? Would you consider the needs of a deaf child or visually impaired child in your children's martial arts class or would you be annoyed if their needs intruded on your children? What has it got to do with you if his mother still does homework with him, do you you know everything about them?

[mistlethrush]

Come off it people, the poster isn't doubting the allergy in itself, she's doubting the severity of it and questioning whether its really necessary to avoid peanuts for a full 48 hrs before each class - because there doesn't appear to have been any problem with the peanut eating in the past and 48 hrs seems a surprisingly long time - indeed, several people on the thread who do have severe allergies have suggested 24 hrs or 'the day' is the period they need people to avoid eating certain things for.

And I do know that you can become more allergic to things - I used to be able to eat small amounts of chocolate but the last time I did that (17 years ago) I had such a bad reaction that I have scrupulously avoided it since (despite craving it). I have also become allergic to paracetamol and codeine - and even the allergy clinic said that was unusual and indeed sent me home from a test thinking I wasn't allergic, for me to come out in the reaction on the way home and have to go back in... Oh, and I'm also intolerant to lactose... but that's not an allergy and won't end up with me in hospital.

[murphys]

Holidayfun We have a severely disabled member in our family. My children have a very good idea of how difficult life is with a disability. So we talk about it often and quite openly, thanks....

[Holidayfun]

Well why don't treat this in the same way? Why not just except what the mother is telling you and explain to your children that on this particular evening we don't have peanuts to protect their friend. Don't understand why this is such a big deal for you. It sounds like you just don't agree with the mothers approach to parenting, which frankly is not your business.

[mistlethrush]

Holiday - have you not read that they've been told not to eat peanuts for 48 hours beforehand - and yet the serious allergy sufferers on this thread have said 'same day' or '24 hrs' is OK for them... And this is the same child that has been sparring with her DS for some time without any problems (evidenced by the out of date epipen). Does it not appear to you that the mother of the other child is making a mountain out of a molehill and making other people's lives more complicated than they need to be to take reasonable precautions around her son?