Regarding this peanut allergy

[murphys]

Both my dc do martial arts. There is a boy at their class (D) who imo is a pfb. I have known them for a while as he was at primary with my ds. When chatting with his mum, it would appear that she is still sitting with him doing homework, doing his projects for him, if you have a conversation with the boy, the mum will automatically answer his questions for him. The boy is 16.

I know that he has an allergy to peanuts as in a previous conversation, mum wouldn't allow him to go on school camp as she said that she couldn't take the risk that peanut butter wouldn't be served there in sandwiches.

They have done marital arts in the same class for 3 years now. Last week dc came home and said that before they were to start sparring, Shifu (instructor) asked everyone is anyone had eaten peanuts in the last two days. My dc are great fans of peanut butter, ds said he had a sarmie that day. Shifu then said that D's mother had requested that if anyone has eaten peanuts, then they are not allowed to spar with D. So, as ds is D's sparring partner usually, ds had to sit out until such a time as they rotated the class.

Last week I was a bit surprized by this, but now I just overheard the dc who are on holidays now. Ds offers to make dd sandwich. He just made her a peanut butter one. She gets it and I hear her gasp and say 'oh no I cant eat this as we are going to class tonight'.....

Do you think aibu in thinking that we shouldn't have to change our diets and fret about what we eat in case they do sparring this evening in class? This hasn't been an issue in all the years they have been going with D and the mum didn't mention that he had any allergic incidents recently.

[Likeaninjanow]

Offtoseethewizard, we request an announcement is made on planes. My DS could react to the dust that escapes when you open a packet of nuts, which then would circulate round the plane. However, he's never reacted to nuts on breath before.

Having a child with a severe allergy is incredibly stressful. We try to ensure he feels 'normal', at the same time as keeping him alive. No easy task, but I usually hide my anxieties from everyone in RL!

[CornChips]

Oh, and for people saying if the epipen is out of date it means it is not serious- there is a UK-wide shortage of junior epipens right now, for various reasons. I carry one in date and one out of date one.

www.allergyuk.org/blog/blog/post/156-important-information-supply-of-adrenaline-auto-injectors-

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

Whilst children are at school, you have to have four Epipens - two for the school office, one for student to carry and one for parent. (I think that's how it was - long time since daughter was at school) But we had to have four each time (Maybe it was one for student, one for school office and two for parent)

Anyway - most times, the Chemist didn't have enough Pens to fill the prescription, and we would have to wait several days for extra supplies. It is also up to the parent to keep an eye on the dates, so for those saying if the Pen is out of date, the GP doesn't think it's serious enough, is not true. It is the parent's responsibility (and I also kept some out-of-date Pens around the place as well as the in-date ones for a while, before handing them back, just in case of dire emergencies).

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

4 epi pens-2 for home,2 for school. Always carry 2 in case first one isn't enough/doesn't work.

[CornChips]

We have two for home and two for school too.

(Did anyone note the shortage of epi-pen issue? Sorry, but it makes me very seriously angry when people say if it is out of date the allergy cannot be serious). Posting link again for emphasis.

www.allergyuk.org/blog/blog/post/156-important-information-supply-of-adrenaline-auto-injectors-

We had summer guests last year who just did not get the peanut allergy issue. The husband was mad about snickers bars- so left them around the house all over the place. For example, half eaten on the bed in the guest room. DS was 3years old, and into everything. For a week we kept putting snickers bars out of reach and explaining why. He STILL did not get the issue. Shrugged, thought we were over-egging the issue. And yes, dare I say it - thought we were being PFB about it.

[Tentedjuno]

I had never heard of a peanut allergy when I was at school or growing up; it has only entered my consciousness in the last few decades. Why is there so much of it about now? We certainly used to eat penty of Woolworth's peanuts on the school bus, so it can't be lack of exposure.

I used to believe all this allergy stuff was simply attention seeking behaviour, then I had a reaction to something, possibly Boots cough mixture, and ended up in hospital. So I am now a believer, but still puzzled by the frequent occurance of the nut variety.

And what happens in peanut growing countries? Are the inhabitants immune or are they permanently wielding their epipens ?

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

I feel your pain, CornChips - Parents-in-law bought Easter Eggs for DC each Easter (very kind of them). But EVERY FRIKKIN YEAR they bought eggs containing chocolate bars or chocs with containing nuts (even though they knew of the nut allergy). Every frikkin year I had to confiscate the eggs and buy a couple of extra spares to replace them with. GAHH!

Some people just really do not understand it, and think you're making a fuss over nothing.

[BalloonSlayer]

Of course I know that peanut allergies can be as bad as described, but there is what seems to be a popular fallacy these days that ALL peanut allergies are that bad.

I am slightly that this allergy is claimed to be soooo bad yet she has one epipen which she has let expire.

DS's allergies is not as bad as this one is claimed to be, yet we have always had two epipens. Two in each medical kit, that is - we have 6 on the go at any one time - 2 at school, 2 in DS's bag and I have a kit with 2 in.

I would doubt there is an activity camp in the land which serves peanuts or sells snickers in the tuck shop. IME they are incredibly good at catering for allergies. She "she couldn't take the risk that peanut butter wouldn't be served there in sandwiches" could she? Presumably she also couldn't pick up the phone and ask them? They are more likely to serve braised ocelot than peanut butter sandwiches at a summer camp. I smell exaggeration.

[Justagirlintheworld]

We only have 2, 1 for school and 1 for home. My dad has tried to get more from the doctor but been told that this is the limit and if we have to use one we should be calling for an ambulance straight away.

On a different note, before we found out about the nut allergy, the doctors thought my niece was asthmatic. She was constantly having to use an inhaler as she was struggling to breathe, getting a rash all over her body and her face swelling up. She hasn't used it once since she's had to avoid nuts. She's never been given peanuts as she was too little. It was down to them being mixed in with other food.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

TentedJuno - I am also very puzzled by it. Having travelled with our children to all sorts of places, some nations seem to not understand AT ALL (simply on the basis that they have not been affected by it). Is it a particularly Northern European thing, or do some cultures just let people live (or die) with the consequences? Lots of countries and cultures eat and are in contact with nuts all the time - many of their recipes are based around nuts. What do their allergic people do?

My daughter travelled to Thailand last year and had to carry a note around with her to inform restaurant/café owners of her allergy (they use nuts a lot in their cooking). I did wonder about Thai people with nut allergies - it must be a nightmare for them.

[todayisnottheday]

Sorry but the story being painted here is of someone who is picking and choosing when the allergy is serious. Re the epi-pen the parent knew it was out of date so why hadn't she replaced? You cite a shortage yet when she told the op she apparently didn't say "it's out of date as there is a shortage" which would be a normal conversation when something that outrageous happens. Sorry, still sounds like she's attention seeking via her sons allergy to me.

[Justagirlintheworld]

I always wonder if it's anything to do with pregnant women in this country being told to avoid peanuts. This has altered now but it makes me wonder if the immunity is made whilst in the womb.

[BarbarianMum]

Tented many peanut growing countries are developing countries. They say the incidence of allergies are less there,possibly due to the prevalence of certain parasites which help 'prime' the immune system.

Based on my own experiences in West Africa I would firstly say that there is no good data for allergy frequency (given the limitations of access to health care for most of the population). Secondly I would think if you are a severely peanut allergic child in a bush village you'd never survive infancy. Children die all the time without ever seeing a doctor and it's very common not to know why.

[IHeartKingThistle]

Advice when I was pregnant with DD was to avoid. I avoided. Advice when I was pregnant with DS was not to avoid. I didn't avoid. He's allergic. She's not.

I'm sure many women who eat peanuts in pregnancy don't end up with allergic children though.

[BarbarianMum]

Should add that in peanut growing USA there is a high incidence of peanut allergy.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

It is a possibility, Justagirl, but I ate nuts during my pregnancy and my daughter is the one who is allergic. (At times, I have blamed myself for her allergy, thinking maybe I ate too many).

[IHeartKingThistle]

Me too Evans

[ouryve]

You know, some people's peanut allergy really is that severe.

Isn't he a bit young for Marital Arts, anyhow? :o

[BarbarianMum]

Ihear same here. I don't think it would have made much difference though, ds1 was allergic to milk and celery as well as peanuts and I sure as hell didn't avoid those in pregnancy. I do think genetic predisposition plays a large role but whether better to expose or protect susceptible individuals, who knows.

[TillyTellTale]

todayisnottheday

Sorry but the story being painted here is of someone who is picking and choosing when the allergy is serious.

"Painted" being the operative word, surely? There's lots of colour here, I grant you, but I don't find that convincing.

You cite a shortage yet when she told the op she apparently didn't say "it's out of date as there is a shortage" which would be a normal conversation when something that outrageous happens. Sorry, still sounds like she's attention seeking via her sons allergy to me.
Maybe she didn't want to discuss it in detail with our OP. That's also normal conversation. People don't always give complete backgrounds to issues, just because it's come up in conversation. Perhaps they should be more ready to assume the person they're speaking to is weighing up every word they say, and about to relay it for judgement on mumsnet that evening, but they don't.

Maybe the reason she's asking people to be more careful than usual is tied into her concerns about the out-of-date epipen. Maybe he did have a bad reaction recently, and the OP doesn't know.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

That is very interesting BarbarianMum and I can totally understand that in an under-developed community. People probably do die as a result of the non-understanding.

But also, some Western countries don't get it either. Greece, for instance, uses a lot of nuts in cake and baking products. Poor daughter was not allowed to eat anything sweet there! Several times I asked if the product contained nuts, was told "No", I was official taster, detected nuts, so poor daughter couldn't eat it.

We went to Austria, hotel provided dessert containing nuts. I explained (in German) about the allergy, very sympathetic staff. They brought her an alternative ice-cream . . . . . . .covered in almonds!!!

Do other nations not understand, or are they just pretending?

[Justagirlintheworld]

Ah Evans, it could be down to anything. My niece's paternal grandad also has it, so it could be a genetic throwback. We don't know how accurate doctors were in the past. It's not something I'd heard a lot of before a couple of years ago but once you have somebody close with it you start wondering a lot about it.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

Barbarian - my daughter is also allergic to celery!! Everyone I know really, really scoffs at that, accusing me of making it up. But she absolutely is. Her throat swells, she has difficulty breathing. Apparently it is a common allergic reaction in Northern Europe (France, Germany, etc) and cannot be diminished by cooking. No-one here (outside of the medical profession) has ever heard of it, apparently!!

[Thumbwitch]

YABU, yes. Unless your DC have a life-threatening condition that requires them to eat peanuts/peanut butter on a daily basis then of course YABU!!

Could you really live with yourself, or could your DC for that matter, if they were the cause of this boy having a fatal anaphylaxis reaction? Think about that, if you need more reason as to why YABU!

[CornChips]

Today posted - 'You cite a shortage yet when she told the op she apparently didn't say "it's out of date as there is a shortage" which would be a normal conversation when something that outrageous happens. Sorry, still sounds like she's attention seeking via her sons allergy to me.''


Tilly - 'Maybe she didn't want to discuss it in detail with our OP.'

I agree with Tilly. Todayisnottheday the mother really does not have to discuss the ins and outs of a duck's bum to anyone in order to explain or prove an allergy to some random she sits next to at martial arts. As someone said upthread.... epipens are not given out just for giggles.

Anyway- yes, I am citing a shortage. That is an actual fact, not just me citing it.

And in my world- the people I have 'cited the shortage' to are DS's school. Not any other mother at his swimming class...... or at church.... or at - anywhere else.