To crave romance

[Kannet]

I have been with Dh for 15 years and we love each other dearly, just once though I would love a bit of romance eg a candle light supper, to walk holding hands. It's so silly and girly but there you go. I'm watching a soppy film and sipping a g&t hence the glum feeling.

So plan one,

Nothing stopping you doing the wining and dining is there?

Ynbu.. In being single I some times crave that couple feeling, wouldn't have to be doing something, just knowing that there is some one special, other than my children who think I'm the dogs bullocks and loves me.

I think you should plan something out.of the world romantic

My dh is shit at romance. I used to try. I've taken him away on weekend breaks (he just wanted to sit in pubs), put little notes in his lunch bag, made nice dinners etc.

I never got anything in return and I soon realised that he's so entitled that he thinks that is just what he should be getting. I've given up.

I am finding it rather strange at the minute. I'm in the very early stages of dating someone new (we have had coffee twice and one proper date but we have known each other for years).

He opened the car door for me. And opened doors. And waited for me to order. And sent me flowers to thank me for a lovely time.

And I've never had that before and I think I like it and I might want more

Unless you out and out tell him what you need, and explain to him how much nicer his life will be, then he's not going to change his ways. Men are creatures of habit.

I'd recommend putting him on restriction fwiw

Eek he sounds nice!

Edie he is lovely.

I'm trying to be all cool and laid back and I just want to grin and grin and grin. He rings and texts even when I can't see him, and the flowers were proper flowers off a florist, not supermarket flowers.

It's not about the flowers though it's the small things. He asked if I was too hot or cold in the car, for example. My ex would never have done that.

"putting him on restriction"?

It is the little things that matter, he sounds lovely.

I broke all the rules of dating. Well, all except the shagging one although we did almost break that one.

Eek sounds like he's a keeper.....does he gave a friend or brother (ignoring husband who laying of floor at moment reading paper and watching football. One can dream about romance)

Thing is, will it last? Or in 20 years will he be farting and picking his nose in the bed?

Mmm...man here.

Not sure its just one way traffic really.

DW and me married 25 years this September. Love each other dearly. Spend 24 hours a day together usually, text/talk multiple times a day when we aren't. She nearly died before we had children. My life would have ended without her. Our oldest is 14 now.

Romance seems to have died though. Feel quite sad often. Booking our honeymoon hotel and spending a weekend just us without kids. It will be nice but I want it like it was.

Wine talking a bit. She is away with work this weekend. Not resentful, good for her. I like being Dad with the boys - man talk and all that but just sad its not quite what it was with DW. Nice growing old together but not what it was. Is that how it is?

We once held hands walking down the High Street in Oxford as students, Both of us giddy in love bit but daring not to admit it to each other. Half a life time ago. We still both remember that day as if yesterday.

Actually a tear ran down my face just then. Soppy old git.

MoreBeta that's adorable I'm welling up here

((hug)) for morebeta

:) bless you. Tell her how you feel.

(Hug) more x

Aw morebeta would you like to come and be my husband?

eek - welling up here too.

fluffy - I really tried about five years ago. It didn't go anywhere. I just rang her a few hours ago. Suggested something by text we could do together. A once in a lifetime mad adventure. She didn't get what I was saying. No romance. She says I am ultra rational - really?

Anyway, got a lawn to mow a path to weed, and house to clean before she gets back. Its what I do. I want it to be nice for her. Boys got to tidy their room too. I organised the fire place tiling tomorrow, house being repaired outside., freezer being mended, kitchen floor needs mopping. We have a good life, I work from home. You will read about my work in the papers. Very well paid. My DW is famous. She says I am her secret weapon. She talks to her friends about me.

What right have I to be sad?

Its always the same.

olive - I obviously fart and pick my nose discretely which is admittedly a downside.

Just make it happen them MoreBeta,
You sound like you have a lovely , settled life and money is not an object, so go for it..

Being ultra rational is a pain in the arse, by the way.
Great in practical situations, needs abandoning all together for romance!

My dh doesn't plan romantic nights, however he rubs my feet all the time, gives me neck massages to help me sleep and always warms my side of the bed!

morebeta don't worry, you would never 'trump' my husband on that score!

romance can be little things like a cup of tea made for you or sorting out the jobs he knows you hate doing. DH isn't good at big gestures and isn't terribly imaginative in this regard but is good at those small things

escape - think her illness made her hard and other bad things that happened made her hard. Its like a carapace I cant get through but can't. I stopped trying.

Kannet - sorry I am in danger of dominating your thread.

I really know how you feel though.

there are 5 ways of expressing love. touch, words, acts of service, presents and time spent together. you need to find out what dhs is, and he needs to know yours. we tend to show love in the same way we want to receive it, but that doesnt nec mean dp 'hears' it. go to www.5lovelanguages.com or get the book.