To be seriously considering cancelling a date because of nerves?

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

To lay it all out their I don't do well with people but weirdly I have lots of friends so I must be doing ok. I have ASD and like to stay within my comfort zone.

I have not been on a date for well over a decade nearer two,apart from a very odd day date a few days ago that turned out not to be an actual date just a coffee with someone who is never going to be anything other than a friend.

I've been asked on a date (a real one) by a real life single man who I really really like,he's a friend of one of my adult children so I don't know him very well but I do like what I know so far and it was my adult child who set it up if that makes sense.

I really want to go but I'm terrified I will get something wrong as I do not have a clue about what happens on dates,how they work,what you wear or anything like that.

No location has been talked about yet but it's meant to happen next weekend

Don't cancel.

I very nearly cancelled my first date with OH as I was so nervous (hadn't dated in years). I even called him last minute to cry off, saying I felt unwell (I wasn't). He persuaded me to go along anyway, in the hope I wouldn't be too poorly. We had a fantastic evening and are very happy together years later.

Just treat it like an evening out with friends or family. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be extra special, just be you. Have fun.

Don't cancel I used to hate first dates all the nerves but if you already know him albeit not very well it might make it little less nervewracking go along and try and enjoy it .

I nearly cancelled my first date with my now BF. Nearly ran a mile when I saw him in person the first time as we met through OD!

Maybe look at it as meeting a new friend then anything else is a bonus.

Another one saying 'please don't cancel'.

What's the worst that can happen? You end up with a funny story to tell us. You would do that, wouldn't you?

The best is that I get to buy a hat, because if it turns out well you'll be inviting everybody who told you to go for it, won't you?

don't cancel. If it goes very badly then just don't see him on a date again.

Don't cancel but stop calling it a date in your head, it may lessen the pressure. Just think of it as meeting up for a lovely time with a family friend. What it develops to, wait and see. It may just be a friendship through your kids or it could end up being something else, just don't focus to much on it being a date because first time dates make most people nervous and in your case will be much more so.

If you cancel, you'll have 'what if's, regrets and kick yourself for it.

As you have ASD, can I suggest it's a priority for you to feel comfortable in whatever you will be wearing, so choose something you already have in your wardrobe that you know does not irritate you. Same goes for make-up and hairstyle, be comfortable first, the last thing you need is to feel distracted and fidgety with your appearance. Comfy shoes in case you decide to go for a walk afterwards, pretty common if it's a meal at a country pub, expandable waistline if you will be sitting down and eating, think along the lines of what you would wear if you were going to a restaurant with your family.

What happens on a date, well, I've not been on one for a lot longer than you, but I'd guess it's meet in a bar, pub or restaurant, have a drink, either go to whatever 'event' the date has been pre-arranged to include if there is one, e.g. art exhibition, cinema, then for a meal, or if there's no 'event' then order food where you are or go to a restaurant.

If the word date is making you feel uneasy, think of it as a meal with a new friend which will be an opportunity to get to know each other a little.

Have a lovely time, just be yourself, that's who he is interested in

One of these days I will post something that does not x-post with anyone else. Today is not that day.

What's the worst that can happen? You end up with a funny story to tell us. You would do that, wouldn't you?

I could fall over then wet myself and yes for your amusement I would post about it

I met DH on a blind date arranged by a mutual friend. I really didn't want to go; I am fairly antisocial. I tried hard to get out of it but my friend basically made me.

I drove myself there so I would feel safer and arranged to meet a friend in another pub later in the evening so I had an escape route. I wore comfortable things (jeans, top, shoes I could run in)

As it turns out I brought DH with me to the other pub and we had a great time.

Been together ever since.

It might be brilliant. Even if it isn't you will have taken the chance and can feel proud of yourself for that.

As my very determined friend said to me "you don't have to marry him, you just have to talk to him for a short while".

If you carry on doing what you're doing, you'll carry on getting what you're getting.

Don't you dare cancel! Embrace life! X x x

I've never actually wanted to go on a date before I've always really enjoyed being single I have great friends and enjoy my own company, but I've only had sex 2 times in 3 years and I think I would quite like to do it again. Probably not on my date but some time after in the near future would be good

Don't cancel. I bet he as nervous as you. Imagine him naked or is that before a presentation

Ive seen him with his top off and reckon that's whats caused the nerves!

He's the most attractive chap I've laid eyes on

I agree with not cancelling, good luck

Don't cancel. Just see it as meeting a friend. You may even enjoy yourself!

Don't cancel!

Think of yourself as a wee bit "excited", rather than "nervous", it may help.

Right I've not only not cancelled I've confirmed.

Apparently he's emailed my daughter and he's nervous as well but chuffed I've confirmed.

I've picked a fairly rural quiet place where I know the staff and will meet him there so I can escape if needed and not buy a new outfit

Definitely no need to buy a new outfit. IME most men like normal clothes and can feel a bit intimidated by anything too high fashion. Wear something you know you feel good in.

Stop thinking of it as a date, think of it instead as meeting up with someone you like-as-a-friend. That might take some of the "eek" out of the situation.
Then go along with no expectations other than a nice friendly meal with a nice person, and hopefully that will help you to relax a bit more.

You could try a shot of Rescue Remedy if you have any in the house - I've always found it very helpful in times of nerves/stress. :)

I wouldn't know high fashion if it jumped up waving a sign saying " I'm high fashion"

". . Dx. . .c , " .

Well I'm not sure what that last post means, I would ask the baby as she did it but she can't talk yet

OP you sound hilarious and the perfect company on a date! He should be delighted he's going out on a date with such a witty and brilliant-sounding woman