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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think you don't need a TV blaring at night to get to sleep?

27 replies

Boomerwang · 29/06/2014 09:10

Inspired by another current thread in AIBU.

We have some close friends who we often visit in the evenings (one of us at a time because someone has to stay with the sleeping toddler) and now and then we are toddler free and are able to stay overnight. They have a bedroom but don't use it as such. They sleep on a mattress in front of the TV, which is left on all night. If I want to sleep, I have to be drunk. I tried to sleep sober but the racket and moving light in the room made it impossible. Eventually when they fell asleep I turned off the TV and managed to get my sleep.

You probably want to know why I wasn't asleep in their bedroom if they were downstairs and I can't really answer that, because I should have been!

Anyway, how is it possible that people can only sleep when the TV is on? I have to have dark and quiet in order to settle to sleep. How come the TV doesn't interrupt your somnolence when it makes random loud noises?

OP posts:
Montybojangles · 29/06/2014 11:42

Sometimes quiet tv or radio noise helps me sleep. If I'm worrying about a lot of things then having something pointless to listen to distracts me enough from my worry to let me go off to sleep. Has to be on low though.

I'd be wondering far more about why they wanted to keep their bed in the living room to be honest. Seems rather strange.

And yes, I do wonder why the heck you didn't just go sleep in the other room.

immortalwife · 29/06/2014 11:44

TV helps me sleep. I used to have insomnia and severe anxiety which is now mostly gone but TV still helps me drift off. I put it in timer though.

So a bit of yabu / tabu...

flyingtrue · 29/06/2014 11:45

YANBU at all OP. I hate noises or light when trying to sleep. Scientifically speaking having a tv on is bad for you, your quality of sleep isn't as good. It's recommended to avoid TVs, laptops etc for an hour before bed for good productive sleep. I remember seeing it in one of the journals- maybe New scientist?- not sure, a while back and showing DH since he loves the TV on.

KneeQuestion · 29/06/2014 11:50

I hate dark and quiet, I find it hard to sleep in those conditions.

Everyone is different!

MrsLettuce · 29/06/2014 11:52

Years ago, when in the full grip of PTSD, I could only sleep with radio4 on (quietly) and a lamp. Even then I was aware it wasn't the best thing for my sleep health.

YANBU

DoJo · 29/06/2014 12:32

To be honest, I find the fact that they sleep on a mattress in their living room more unusual than their TV watching habits. Why not just get a TV for their bedroom and sleep in there? Sound like an odd set up all round. However, when my son was born I slept with the TV on for the first few months as I liked the idea that I would be able to see him in the light of it if he woke up, rather than groping around in the dark. After a couple of months, I started switching it off, but still listen to the radio as I find it clears my mind and helps me get to sleep if I have something to listen to.

magpiegin · 29/06/2014 12:34

Each to their own. I go to sleep every night with the telly on, helps me drift off.

silveroldie2 · 29/06/2014 12:36

It's weird that they sleep on a mattress in the living room but my tv is on all night, sound turned off. I can't sleep in darkness.

andsmile · 29/06/2014 12:41

The tv kept me company and I felt safer following a burglary, habit ever since, even DH has grown into.

YouSayBelloISayPoppaye · 29/06/2014 12:42

I got to sleep every night with the TV on, turned down but I hate sleeping in the dark. I do sleep in my bed though.

Maybe don't sleep over and when they ask just say you can't sleep with the TV on or ask to sleep in their room with the TV off. It's their house so I guess they're entitled to sleep how they see fit

MammaTJ · 29/06/2014 12:58

I worked nights for many years and used the TV to block out noises from outside. Constant TV was better than hearing someone knocking on a neaighbours door, or neighbours shouting at each other. In the summer holidays, it even blocked out the sound of children playing.

I got used to it and now struggle to sleep without it.

MidniteScribbler · 29/06/2014 13:58

I can't fall asleep without the tv on, and it's generally something I've already seen, because my brain can switch off. I lay awake for hours if I have nothing to watch (music and radio doesn't work for me either). I do always set the sleep timer on my tv though which switches off after I fall asleep so the tv isn't on all night. I'm on holidays right now and going nuts because the person with me is one of the 'must have silence people' which is why I'm posting on here at this time of night (in Australia) instead of being fast asleep. They're already bitching enough about the light from my phone (so shut your bloody eyes!!).

Although I don't see why the OPs friends just don't buy a tv for their bedroom instead of sleeping in the lounge?

hellskitty · 29/06/2014 14:01

YANBU.The dark makes your body produce a sleep inducing hormone

Fideliney · 29/06/2014 14:05

You probably want to know why I wasn't asleep in their bedroom if they were downstairs and I can't really answer that, because I should have been!

Sorry, completely distracted by this detail. All four of you were downstairs on a mattress in the living room?! I'm not sure the TV is your main issue TBH.

Pipbin · 29/06/2014 14:40

Sorry, completely distracted by this detail. All four of you were downstairs on a mattress in the living room?! I'm not sure the TV is your main issue TBH.

Exactly this. If they had the TV on in their bedroom then fair enough, but they don't seem to have a bedroom to sleep in.

lobsterkiller · 29/06/2014 14:55

I live on my own and can only sleep with the TV on. I do have the sound down low though and it goes on timer.

littlemisssarcastic · 29/06/2014 15:45

I only know one person who sleeps with the TV on, because she was burgled many years ago and ever since has been afraid that she will be burgled again, understandably.

I didn't really understand how having a TV on during the night would stop her being burgled or help her if a burglary was taking place since her last burglary took place while she was evidently at home during the day when the TV and radio was on when she was in the house and burgled.
She also takes a cordless phone to bed with her every night to call for help or the police if she heard any strange noises.

How she would hear a burglar over the noise of the TV in order to phone the police or to get help is something that still confuses me.
Surely your brain wouldn't be alerted to any noises in your home during the night because your brain would automatically assume they were from the TV?

I'd rather be awake if a burglar was in my house than fast asleep.

CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla · 29/06/2014 16:58

if i am on my own i need the telly. if i'm at DPs, i want it off!

2rebecca · 29/06/2014 17:20

I need dark and quiet. I wouldn't stay over with your friends, sounds like torture. I'd rather stay sober and drive home or get a B&B

Original poster
Boomerwang · 29/06/2014 19:15

Yeah, it's weird that they don't use their bedroom and when me and DP stay over we don't use it either. They have a split lounge, one half is used to watch tv, the other to go on their pcs. They actually have two spare single mattresses as well as their own double and the spares go down when we stay over so that we're all sleeping on the floor in the same room. This is because the half of the room used for playing on their pc is also their daughter's playroom so there is no space on the floor for the mattress.

Anyway, I'm not fussy about the mattress on the floor thing, it was just the annoying TV on. I've told them that I ain't staying over there again unless I'm drunk or I can't see or hear the tv (plus the floor lamps and kitchen light you can also see cuz they won't turn them off) and that's that. Luckily the issue never escalated because they only live a three minute walk away!

Just to be clear, the AIBU wasn't about my friends in particular, just about people who feel they can't sleep without the telly/radio on.

OP posts:
Pipbin · 29/06/2014 19:49

If they are only 3 minutes walk away why are you staying over?
Sorry but I find the whole sleeping arrangement thing odd. Do they have people round with their bed on the floor in the middle of the room?

I have the radio on to go to sleep, really quietly though. It comes from when I was young, I grew up in a very old creepy house. It would make noises all night and scare me so I would have talking books on to drown the sound out. I find that a quiet house is just to 'empty'.
I understand why the person who had been burgled wants to keep the TV on for company. As the poem says 'it's the hole in each ear that lets in the fear'.

Mrsjayy · 29/06/2014 20:02

I fall asleep tothe tv it has a sleep mode so I use that I cant sleep other wise, maybe dont stay if it bothers you

Fideliney · 29/06/2014 20:18

OP is this a post-orgy TV dilemma?

Original poster
Boomerwang · 01/07/2014 07:47

Hello no lol! The reason for staying over is so that all four of us can hang out at once, as we bring our daughter over to stay in the travel cot upstairs.

OP posts:
teenagetantrums · 01/07/2014 08:26

I always sleep with the tv on the news channel, I hate the dark and quite, but I don't have to share my room with anyone, still think you should just use their bedroom, that would make more sense.

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