To be pissed off with DP?

[WanderingTrolley1]

He's smoked for 33 years. He's 46.

He's tried numerous times to quit and stopped for 2 months on a couple of occasions. Tried Prescribed drugs, gum, patches, spray, hypnotherapy.

He's developed a bad morning cough the past few weeks. I suggested he see the Dr (during one fit). He got defensive, saying he'd had a cold. News to me.

He has a stressful job and says that's why he reverts back.

I'm worried about him. We have 3 children and I dread to think what damage he's done/is doing to himself. I hate to say, I'm also becoming quite angry and frustrated about it. Purely, selfish, I know, but he's disturbing everyone's sleep, too. Our 4 month old sleeps in her crib beside our bed and he's waking her up - been up since 05:30 with her this morning.

I suffer with tension headaches and really need to rest. He's sleeping upstairs.

Aibu to be miffed?

Could you get him to try some of those e-cigarettes?

Hi, Long. I believe he's tried those, too.

It sounds like you've been very supportive I told my dp that I don't date smokers.. Become a non smoker or become single and tbh, I think maybe a 'look, I'm worried' talk might help.. The ad on the tv has been around for a whole now of 'someone have a cough? Mention to go to the gps, they might think it's normal or not even notice' I wouldn't even mention the smoking if tabs what's making it a sticking point for him, just a 'that cough is getting awful, that colds really hit you, I think you'll need to book to see the doc?'

Good luck, the main priority needs to be checking he's okay, then you can work on what your going to do next!!

Presumably he was a smoker when you started the relationship? So it does seem a bit unreasonable to suddenly decide he must quit now or else.

But obviously YANBU to be worried about the long term health implications.

he obviously shouldn't have any contact with a 4 month old baby if he has been smoking.

It's an addiction. I know you're worried and angry but you need to remember that.

I have issues with food, my DH more so. I'm scared stuff he'll either die early or be debilitated in later life, doesn't solve the problem though and doesn't make me any more able to solve mine.

Well, he needs to be the one sleeping on the sofa while you have your baby sleeping in the room.

Other than protecting your children (no smoking in the house, no contact with the baby after smoking etc) I don't think there's much you can do to change your husband. Coming from a family of smokers, it seems to me that love of / addiction to smoking trumps absolutely everything else in many cases.

Your worries about your DH's health, impact on the children's health, the risk of it killing him and leaving the children fatherless are unlikely to stop him smoking , as the evidence shows. All you can do is insist the smoking -related annoyances impact only on him, not you and the children .