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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this teacher should not put pressure on the girls to come to school

25 replies

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 29/06/2014 06:15

So DD's economic's (year 10) teacher husband is getting treatment (we think cancer) and can only teach them 2/3 out of 4 periods a week, so is putting pressure on the girls to come to school as she HAS to teach them on the days she's there and not leave it to the relievers. When the relievers are there they are getting work sheets.

But there have been quite a few girls sick recently and she's getting annoyed at them recently for taking to much time off as there are not many to teach (it's the middle of winter where I live FFS- everybody has got the winter cold).

DD was quite sick on wednesday morning and she said she was going to school because of economic's as the teacher said she HAD to teach them how to do taxes. DD just got out of bed that morning and started getting ready for school but got a bad migraine so I said she should stay at home. Lucky she did as she got quite worse and couldn't even get out of bed the whole day and spent most of the day half asleep, DD stayed off school on thursday (don't have eco that day) anyway on friday she though she better go school (still quite sick) because of eco so she turned up to eco and the teacher wasn't even there so the teacher had said that the girls away had to sit next to somebody and they had to teach her what to do (quite hard stuff). DD need up coming home at lunch because she still felt so bad after her english teacher suggested going home, also her english teacher agreed that her eco teacher also gets annoyed when people take time off.

AIBU in thinking the teacher shouldn't be putting pressure on the girls to come to school on the days she's teaching because she's also taking time off (deserved though)? And also that the school should be sorting decent cover?? (not an endless string of physics, art teachers etc..)

OP posts:

GenuinelyMaryMacguire · 29/06/2014 06:23

You are being ridiculous.
The teacher is seriously ill, yet is still trying to do her best for her pupils.
If your child is genuinely too ill for school, don't make her go, but the teacher is right to emphasise that small ailments shouldn't prevent attendance.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 29/06/2014 06:40

Genuinely it's the teacher's husband who's ill, rather than the teacher herself. That said, I agree with you. I see nothing wrong with a teacher emphasising the importance of regular attendance. As well as educating them, I'd like schools to be working on teenagers developing the skills they need for adult life. Turning up consistently is one of them.

Delphiniumsblue · 29/06/2014 06:48

If she has to get the whole syllabus covered in half to three quarters of the time of course she is under pressure to do it and wants them all there. It is in their interests to be there if they possibly can.

Luggagecarousel · 29/06/2014 06:52

I agree, the teacher is doing her very best for her students in nightmare circumstances. I've been there! How infuriating to prioritise time to support your students to the very best of your ability, and find them not bothering to show up because of a "winter cold".

How often does education and achievement seem to be more important to the teacher than the students it is supposed to be for. And how often is it the teacher doing most of the work, when it should be the students!

Nousernameforme · 29/06/2014 07:23

We'll the op's dd is older so I would think in year 10 unlikely to be suffering from the permanent runny nose most toddlers get. If you are ill you shouldn't go into school/ work etc all you are doing in insuring other people get ill. I'm not saying take all the time off until you are fully recovered just the first day or two of a cold you know when you feel really shit and are unlikely to be of use to anyone anyway.
We have a culture here of soldering on in the belief that people will think you are pulling a sicky if you call in sick and I think it's wrong

zipzap · 29/06/2014 07:25

I'd be more cross that the school hadn't sorted decent cover for when the Eco teacher was off.

With regards demanding girls go in when they are I'll, I think that's wrong. Obviously it depends how ill and I wouldn't expect them to be off at the first sign of a sniffle but where I was last winter there were some nasty bugs that were flying around. The 'winter cold' that everybody got was actually more iof a paraflu than a cold; nasty temperature, aches, coughing, fatigue, and more, plus it went on for well over a week and left whoever had it feeling really wiped out for the next couple of weeks too

If people hadn't forced themselves into school or work so much in the first few days then it wouldn't have spread as much as it did but as it was a lot more people struggled in, shared their bugs and so many more people suffered.

Just because the teacher's husband is poorly it doesn't mean that all her pupils can just stop getting ill. If they're 6th form students then I'm sure they're fairly motivated to be there if they can be as they know they will have to catch up later.

Plus if they come in with nasty bugs then the teacher is more likely to catch them and could pass them on to her dh which could have serious consequences for him, so you'd have thought she would have beenurging pupils to err on the die of caution...

Original poster

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 29/06/2014 07:36

Thanks for the replies.

I understand it's a difficult situation and the teacher is doing the best under the circumstances.

Fwiw this is DD only days off since march and it was a really bad cold as I said she was bed ridden on the wednesday and still quite sick on thursday. She went in on friday as she was getting better but she had her period which I think was the main reason she went home.

Delphiniumsblue she is covering the syllabus but it's quite rushed and when she off, they can't ask questions and get help.

ZipZap I think thats the thing I'm most annoyed at is there is no decent cover, which is not only putting pressure on the students but also the teacher and everything bug is spreading so quickly.

OP posts:

Original poster

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 29/06/2014 07:39

*every

OP posts:

Delphiniumsblue · 29/06/2014 07:41

If you are really ill of course you can't go- but I can see why she is trying to get everyone there- there must be a certain amount of panic. A pity there isn't adequate cover.

merrymouse · 29/06/2014 08:00

I'm a bit confused. It sounds to me as though the school have just switched the timetable around to accommodate the teacher. I think that is their right.

If somebody is too ill to go to school they are too ill to go to school. Whether they or the rest of the class are also ill is irrelevant.

If the children aren't being given adequate teaching that is something that you should discuss. However, the timetabling is up to them.

Winterwardrobetime · 29/06/2014 08:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frontier · 29/06/2014 08:13

Most people i know who have been in this teacher's situation have been signed off themselves cfor the duration of their dp's/child's treatment. Would that be better (school might organise better cover) or worse? Teach deserves a medal for turning up at all imo but maybe someone at the school should suggest it would be better for the students if she didn't?

Regardless of teacher's personal situation i don't think it's wrong for her to be telling them lessons are important and they should be there if they are able.

Original poster

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 29/06/2014 08:14

winter she still had a cold as well as a period, also she was still there till lunchtime.

OP posts:

Bouttimeforwine · 29/06/2014 08:21

She is doing the best she can for her pupils. It is up to you as the parent, to decide if she is really too sick or not. The teacher wants to stop kids taking time off for minor ailments.

I too, think the teacher deserves a medal.

WhereTheWildlingsAre · 29/06/2014 08:21

How much illness is going on! Sounds like an awfully high rate of absence in this school. I'd be annoyed too.

It's right to be off for the really serious stuff like migraines, obviously, but her time is being wasted by those who are staying off for minor ailments.

MoonRover · 29/06/2014 08:27

I think the teacher is stupid to be encouraging attendance in students who have infectious illnesses if her dh has cancer or anything that can compromise his immune system. What if she catches something and takes it home?

That said, I would guess she feels under pressure to deliver lessons in the time she has available. So I can understand she wants to discourage anyone being off ill with a minor ailment, maybe she said that to the students who are the sort to take a day off with a light cold, rather than those who spend a few days in bed unwell and after a migraine?

The problem lies in the school not providing adequate cover. If it's winter and there's a greater likelihood of absence, they need to allow for this. And rather than relying on her students to teach other students (unfair to both parties and what if student1 teaches a mistake to student 2?) the teacher should leave worksheets explaining the lesson to the absentees, and/or ways to research the subject themselves.

So I think there are errors in the system, but the teacher shouldn't be encouraging sick children to come to school. YANBU.

Original poster

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 29/06/2014 08:28

There's a lot of bugs going around and if they're boarders they have to go home, there have been at least 3 people per lesson away sick. And thinking about it 3 girls have gone on holiday early.

OP posts:

Frontier · 29/06/2014 08:30

Perhaps the teacher has seen first hand how precious life is and that we should be making the most of every second rather than whining that we can't do things because of a cold or period pain .

Original poster

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 29/06/2014 08:32

I agree the teacher deserves a medal.

OP posts:

goodiegoodieyumyum · 29/06/2014 08:32

Winter you have obviously never suffered bad period pain, some people can be badly incspicirated by their periods.

MoonRover · 29/06/2014 08:59

I can work through a cold or period pain because they don't affect me much.

But my sister is asthmatic and prone to sinusitis, she's a mess when she has a cold, and a migraine can take my mother out for a few days.

We're all different. It's not whining when you have a fever, are in pain, can't see too well or, you know, breathe.

I do feel for the teacher though. Awful situation for her, she can't win really. Maybe the school would be better off giving her a solid block of time off and employing a temp dedicated to the subject.

hellskitty · 29/06/2014 09:05

So what is actually wrong with your DD - has she had a migraine for 3 days? or a cold or period pains or all 3

lljkk · 29/06/2014 09:07

I really hope that having a period doesn't keep the OP's Dd away from school-work-life very much. That sounds like a huge problem to sort out ASAP.

BoomBoomsCousin · 29/06/2014 09:20

YABU

Ideally, if the teacher can't teach the syllabus properly the school would get in a replacement for all the sessions (for the teacher's sake as well as the students). But realistically that isn't going to happen, even if the budget was there there would be problems with a new teacher taking over at this stage.

I think the teacher is giving the students the information they need to help them do the best at the course. Emphasising how important it is for them to get in for the content sessions is exactly what she should be doing. In those crcumstances there is a difference between missing her lessons compared with missing other lessons. They aren't missing a quarter of a week's work, they're missing a third to a half. It changes the cost benefit analysis. They need to factor that into their decisions on whether to take time off.

The pressure may be slghtly inappropriate, but given the situation the teacher is in, at ~15 years old the students should be able to make allowances.

Original poster

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 29/06/2014 09:21

She had the flu on the wednesday along with a migraine, on the thursday she had really bad cold, same with friday, which is when her period started and she went to school that day but came home at lunch. She normally would be at school when she has her period but the bad cold finished her off.

OP posts:

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