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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put a nappy on DS

65 replies

Nymeria01 · 29/06/2014 00:25

Tomorrow I'm driving back home to London from Durrham with my 5 year old DS2. He is prone to not very reliable regarding the toilet and will wait until he is bursting to go. In the car on a motorway I'm thinking it my be wise to put a nappy on him not to replace the toilet but just to take the panic out of getting to a service station in time. He is still in them at night (otherwise it wouldn't be an option) and on the journey up he was wearing one as it was late in the evening. However tomorrow I'm leaving mid day so its a bit different. I would make sure that he was fine with wearing it but I'm still not sure whether it is the right thing to do. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
QueenofKelsingra · 29/06/2014 07:56

I've just done it for my 4yo DS on our 8 hour drive. anything over 2 hours on the motorway and I use one. (He is still in nappies at night). He isn't reliably dry yet, although improving.

I am perfectly happy to stop on the side of an A road for a wee stop but having done it once on the motorway I would never again. the speed traffic is travelling and to be standing concentrating on something else. plus I would be leaving 2 other children in the car, just doesn't bear thinking about what would result if something veered off the main carriage way.

I explain to DS that it is only for long motorway journeys where it isn't safe to stop. he has been trained 2 years and I've been doing this all that time. it doesn't make a difference to his ability to stay dry the rest of the time.

hazeyjane · 29/06/2014 07:59

I think if you have no alternative (bed mats etc) and he is ok with it, then just do what you have to do.

Seems like a better option than potentially letting him sit in his own piss for hours on end.

I don't understand this, surely you could say the same about anyone wearing a nappy?

gamerchick · 29/06/2014 08:02

If he's still in nappies at night then yes I would put one on him.

Greenandcabbagelooking · 29/06/2014 08:02

Please don't ever pull off onto the hard should of a motorway unless it's a car-broken-down or medical emergancy. It's really dangerous, and against the Highway Code!

PixieofCatan · 29/06/2014 08:02

Can you take a nappy in a nappy sack as a pee bag?if he can aim it shouldn't be messy theotetocally?! Never tried that though!

You can buy these special bags called travel Johns which you pee into. I keep a few in my car both for when I have kids with me and for if I get stuck in traffic! Only once have I had to use one in the car thankfully!

PixieofCatan · 29/06/2014 08:05

Just to reiterate what green is saying,you should never stop on a motor way unless you break down or its an emergency! Needing a wee is not the type of emergency it means!

odyssey2001 · 29/06/2014 08:07

My LO is 3.5, has only been dry for five months and we are about to go on a 6 hour car journey. And he has at least two or three accidents a week.

I would not dream of putting him into a nappy or pull up. It would emotionally scar him (albeit probably briefly) and send him the message that we don't trust him anymore.

Take a potty, limit fluids to what is absolutely necessary and stop every 45 minutes to an hour for a quick wee. Make him sit on a plastic bag as well if you are worried the seat.

Aeroflotgirl · 29/06/2014 08:11

Yes I would stick a dry nights pull up,over his regular pants. Not much you can do when he refuses to go to the toilet before, and is bursting when when your going down the M1 and needs to go now!

HappyAgainOneDay · 29/06/2014 08:12

What about stopping at Services every 2 hours? You could say that you need to go and he could 'try' then.

Aeroflotgirl · 29/06/2014 08:14

I disagree odyssey, emotionally scar him Hmm bit heavy really. Mabey it will teach him that he has to go before a car journey. What if you do a comfort break, he refuses to go, when your bombing it down the M1 muuuuuum I need a wee. Not much you can do. Saves a wet and soggy car seat and car!

Aeroflotgirl · 29/06/2014 08:15

Just do what you feel you have to, you don't have to ask MN of every decision.

kelda · 29/06/2014 08:20

Don't really understand how a potty would help - you can only use it if you can stop the car, and you can't do that safely on a motorway for fairly long stretches.

FishWithABicycle · 29/06/2014 08:32

Can you get hold of a pack of bedwetting pads? They are like a small blanket (the size of a pillow) which you can put under the sheet if an older DC is prone to occasional bedwetting. Putting one of those onto his carseat would seem a better option to me than putting him in a nappy - you'd still need to do a clothes change when the inevitable happens but at least the carseat will stay dry.

WottaMess · 29/06/2014 08:42

Aeroflot true of course but would make it a pretty dull forum?

Nothing wrong with someone asking if they've missed a trick?

Aeroflotgirl · 29/06/2014 08:45

True wottamess, the things some people ask. Recently one Mumsnetter asked if it was ok to shit in a bush Shock. Only on mumsnet!

eltsihT · 29/06/2014 08:48

Fishwithabicycle, that's is exactly what I do on long journeys you can buy pampers ones but I have a big box of 60 that I have been slowly working through, I call it a special cushion.

I also bribe to sit on the toilet for 1 minute before we leave to go in the car, he gets 1 sweet if he sits for a minute and 2 if he does something, I do the same in service stations.

kelda · 29/06/2014 08:49

WottaMess agree, it is interesting, that's for sure.

But what is the point of putting a nappy over pants, doesn't that defeat the object of keeping clothes dry?

QueenofKelsingra · 29/06/2014 09:21

I wonder if the ones who say 'just stop every 45 mins' only have PFB?

I have 2yo DTs, by the time I get to the service station, get everyone out of the car, get into the toilet it would be far to late for DS.

Also I tend to time drives with nap time if I can and if DTs have fallen asleep I don't want to have to stop and wake them.

DS wears his pants over the nappy and he always checks if it is safe to stop or can he use his nappy.

I think I would maybe be less inclined to do it with a completely dry day and night child, but with one in night nappies and not reliable in the day its a no-brainer for me.

and emotionally scarred really?? Hmm

Aeroflotgirl · 29/06/2014 11:08

I know 'emotionally scarred' wtf fir wearing a nappy on a one off long car journey. The won't remember it when they are older, it's not like your putting a nappy on a 15 year old! Stopping every hour, that would take forever!

mychildrenarebarmy · 29/06/2014 12:12

My DS, 7, is the same as yours in the need to go and need to go now aspect. Would your DS be capable of peeing into a bottle? We had to do that for our son on a recent, stuck in traffic journey as he was absolutely desperate. It does depend on a certain amount of dexterity and careful bottle handling though! If he would manage it then keep a couple of empty water bottles in the car for 'emergencies'.

WashingFanatic · 29/06/2014 12:17

No, I wouldn't put a nappy or pull up on a 5 year old tbh.

I have two boys, 4 and 6. We drove to Scotland recently (9 hours for us) and didn't want to have to pull over every half an hour for the toilet, so we taught them how to manoeuvre and do it in an empty bottle.

I've never met a young boy who wouldn't be delighted at the thought tbh. My two thought peeing in a bottle was the BEST THING EVER out of the whole trip. So much so, ds2 went into school after the holidays and when they all had to draw a picture of the best thing they'd done that week, he drew a bottle and the caption 'I was alowd to weee in a botal' :D

Original poster
Nymeria01 · 29/06/2014 12:18

I have talked with him and he is fine with wearing one. I explained it is only because their are not that many toilets so its just in case he can't hold it.
As QueenofKelsingra stopping on a motorway to urinate is dangerous and I'm not prepared to do it. I don't have a potty with me and even so it would still require me to stop. Using a bottle is a good idea (I have done that with my elder son but wearing nappy\pull up in the car is not an option at his age) but it still causes the stress I am trying to avoid.
Seems like a better option than potentially letting him sit in his own piss for hours on end. I'm not going to have him sitting in a wet nappy of the whole journey. If he uses it I can pull into a service station and put a dry on on him. Anyway sitting in a wet nappy is not the same as sitting in a piss soaked car seat.
Thank you for all of your input, I'm leaving in a few hours.

OP posts:
cattypussclaw · 29/06/2014 12:25

This all sounds so complicated. Why not just stop at services every hour and half/couple of hours and just take him to the toilet? Make him try to have a wee, whether he thinks he needs one or not. That's what we did with my daughter on the way from Bucks to Yorkshire. All this faffing with pull ups and bottles seems mad to me. Every gets a little break to stretch their legs and get some fresh air. The journey might take longer but I find it much less stressful than hammering up the motorway worrying about how far you'll get before a small child starts shouting for the loo!

LastTango · 29/06/2014 12:38

Can you take a potty would he go in? said MrsJaay

I think the Police take a dim view of you stopping on the hard shoulder of a motorway just to toilet a child!!!

Original poster
Nymeria01 · 29/06/2014 12:46

Thanks cattypussclaw, if this was a realistic option I would do it but DS will just stand by the toilet and not go and I can't force the wee out of him. We will then be driving and he will be bursting at which point it will be too late. If my DS had normal toileting habits this would be the normal thing to do, however he does not. I do try to address his issues however on the motorway I would like to suspend this efforts so I can have an less stressful drive.

OP posts: