Was it unreasonable of me to accept a decline to an invitatation?

[Littleturkish]

Stuck with how to word this.

Have a friend who introduced me to her work friend when we all went for lunch together. We got on well, when I told her about a place I'd been to in London recently, she asked me to tell her if I wanted to go again and she would come.

Weeks pass, I invite her and my friend to go to this place in London, my friend declines but other friend accepts. My friend cites money as a reason, so we make other arrangements to do something cost free another time. I still go with the other friend.

I've had several texts accusing me of being insensitive and unreasonable for still going with the other friend. Reasons given are: it was HER friend, she had no money so cruel of me to exclude her, she has had a difficult week and I knew that, so should have wanted to see her.

I do not feel I was unreasonable, this friend has form for getting very angry and cutting people out- but has never done it to me, I'm beginning to strongly dislike her for doing it to others. Now it seems it is my turn.

I've ignored the third message telling me how horrible I am- I've not said sorry as I'm not. But I need to know- was I being unreasonable to still go out?

Feeling a bit disappointed or a bit put out - normal. Twatting on and on about it and expecting people to cancel plans because she couldn't go - not normal.

Bollocks to her.

ishes acting as thught she is 8 years old in a playground

you are all adults, if you have the money to do something and she doesn't why should you not do it - especially as you had planned to do something cost free

Oh gosh. We had similar when DSD asked to invite some of her school friends to the birthday party we were having for all three girls. Apparently she got custody of the school gates in the contact order!

How immature!

Does your original friend thin you are being a Wendy?

She worded her first text in a way that suggested she did, but her second and third explicitly said that wasn't the issue.

I genuinely wanted both of them there, that's why I invited both, but it would have been rude (I felt) to then cancel if one couldn't go, as it would have looked like I didn't want to go if only me and this other friend could go. Plus, I really wanted to go to this place!

Anyway- update of sorts, I finally responded to her text in a firm but final way, expressing my feelings that I hadn't been intentionally trying to hurt her, and she has exploded with all kinds of anger. I'm no longer bridesmaid, she doesn't want to speak to me blah blah. So that's that. I feel lighter having shed the weight.

YANBU - if you've invited just friend of friend, then she might have grounds for being a bit miffed, but you invited them both, one accepted and one declined. I hate people who are like this, who think because they can't afford something, everyone else is being rude for doing stuff without them.

I think that you feeling lighter for no being friends any more speaks volumes. Sounds like this friendship was toxic and taking more of a toll on you than you realized.

Rejoice that you are free!!

She's a massive arse, what an absolute queeny fit she's throwing!, no longer Bridesmaid??? what the fuck!

Oh. Well, I'm sorry that she has reacted like that but you are not the master of her emotions.

Maybe when she has calmed down she will apologise but it does sound like it will be the end of your friendship (as it was anyway).

I really don't think you have done anything wrong here.

What a muppet she is. You're well shot.

Yanbu at all. You invited her, she couldent come. Sounds a bit of a drama lama

Sounds like your well rid of, if she resists to vitriol for what, inviting her and a friend to a place of interest. I dread to think what sort of bride she will be with that attitude!

Don't give in when first friend calms down and tries to wheedle her way back in. Let her stay estranged, because she sounds awful.

I hate shit like this "She was MYYYYY friend first!!!!" Do you want some cheese to go with that whine?!

Sounds like a pita. Stick with new friend and dont lose sleep when original friends cuts you off as it sounds like she will.

Does this get some sort of MN prize? A mental friend AND a bridezilla?! :o

I didn't want to mention her bridezilla behaviour lest it clouded your judgement! She has become a proper zilla, I'm only the second BM to be sacked and she was contemplating a third a few weeks ago. Seriously nuts.

Still feeling better, thanks for the reassurance. Good to have my reasonableness backed up- never fully trust my DH in these matters!

You've got to tell us ALL the bridezilla details now though.

Yes. You must. It will be therapeutic... and funny

Dont know why she is bothering with the Bridezilla stuff, sounds like there wont be anyone there anyway at the rate she is sacking people!

Have you replied to the sacking btw? If you havent then I would go with "Ok. Didnt like the dress anyway"

But I am a bitch :o

I don't know-drama queens do like an audience and a reaction, so complete silence is a good tactic.