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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be REALLY cross at the school

74 replies

SocksRock · 27/06/2014 14:17

I have 3 DC's, from this September 2 of them will be at the local primary school.

I also work 4 days a week and I've just been through the long and tortuous exercise that is arranging the summer holiday childcare. Kids go back Wed 3rd and I need Wedneaday and Thursday off as YR are only half days for that first week. All arranged. Every scrap of holiday used.

Now school have just texted to say that they have decided to go back a day earlier so I need to have the Tuesday off as well. Except I don't have any holiday left and a day off unpaid costs me £170 (gross - not sure of net).

I am pretty cross that this is so late being notified - or AIBU to that this is late notice and is in fact plenty of time. Do I really organise too far in advance?

OP posts:

5madthings · 27/06/2014 17:11

There are no studies as far as

tethersend · 27/06/2014 17:11

Many schools are not aware of the law.

5madthings · 27/06/2014 17:11

Ffs there are no studies as far as I am aware that show a staggered start benefits the children. Either is fine depending on the child.

overmydeadbody · 27/06/2014 17:12

Nursery is different to school though. Parents always say that "but he's been full time at nursery since he was 18 months old" etc.

It is not the same, they still settle in better with a staggered start, make better bonds with the adults and with friends, and it gives the teachers a chance to get to know the children individually far quicker when there aren't 30 of them starting at the same time.

Of course some children are fine with going full time straight away, but schools don't do staggered starts just to annoy parents. There is a reason for it.

overmydeadbody · 27/06/2014 17:14

no studies apart from all the experience of reception teachers like myself, but what do we know ey

MammaTJ · 27/06/2014 17:19

YR only do a week of half days?

You don't know how lucky you are, here it is half a term!

Sorry, got distracted from the point of the OP!

You have plenty of notice, a lot more than you will get if a child is sick!

Original poster

SocksRock · 27/06/2014 17:22

They are only a class of 15 and have a full time teacher and a full time TA, plus almost all of them (I think 12 this year) have been to the preschool next door so already know each other. Maybe the settling in is quicker under those circumstances.

OP posts:

5madthings · 27/06/2014 17:23

Plenty of schools have always done full time starts and it's been fine. Others have never presented parents with the option and have gone with what they always do, both can and do work well and you can do both at the same time as lots if schools do now.

My son never went to nursery, he had done full days at pre school and was ready for full time school. He was fine and it worked well. One of my other children was different and not ready so did part time, he still did full days but three or four days a week.

Half days can work well but not for all parents or all children. Our School is a two mile walk and going three times a day to pick up children at lunchtime and then back again at 3pm would have been more tiring than doing half days.

Circumstances and children are different, insisting on one size fits all just because it's what has always been done does nobody any favours.

5madthings · 27/06/2014 17:24

mamma as has been said you can insist on full days. Ours offers a half term of part time and then you can negotiate/request longer until they are five.

Original poster

SocksRock · 27/06/2014 17:25

I know about kids being sick, I do have 3 of them and one already in school, DD will start Yr2 in September. My husband and I generally stagger our days for sick days with me starting at 5am and working until lunch, then I come home and he goes to work until about 10pm. This wasn't how I wanted DS's first week at school to go - I had organised it so it was calm and happy and not full of parents who were stressed about getting to work.

OP posts:

fromparistoberlin73 · 27/06/2014 17:28

I am sorry but YABU

with working FT, you have 3 kids- as other says you do need some slack to cover for this.

That sounds really unsypathetic, sorry! But its well worth plannning for a max on 5 days unpaid leave so you are prepared for this ideally

you cant really blame the school

kickassangel · 27/06/2014 17:28

It would be much easier if schools didn't just automatically assume that there's a parent at home to cope with half days etc. schools are not a babysitting service but neither should they rely on parents being able to arrange childcare or make costumes or do whatever without sufficient notice. It means that children without a SAHP can really lose out. It's such an unfair assumption and schools are supposed to care enough about kids to not just dump a problem on the parents.

Childcare is so stressful. I know which dates are likely to cause problems for us for years in advance. Sometimes an extra day just can't be covered even with a lot if notice.

CharlesRyder · 27/06/2014 17:42

Term dates do sometimes have to change.

My school recently had massive building works to refurbish and accommodate expansion. There were certain jobs in the build schedule where the children couldn't be in school. The term dates had to be jigged at quite late notice to accommodate these and there were a couple of un-planned closures where things went wrong and areas of the school were un-useable briefly.

tethersend · 27/06/2014 18:05

"Nursery is different to school though. Parents always say that "but he's been full time at nursery since he was 18 months old" etc.

It is not the same, they still settle in better with a staggered start, make better bonds with the adults and with friends, and it gives the teachers a chance to get to know the children individually far quicker when there aren't 30 of them starting at the same time.

Of course some children are fine with going full time straight away, but schools don't do staggered starts just to annoy parents. There is a reason for it."

Overmydeadbody, nursery at my DD's school was exactly the same as reception- just in a different corner of the huge free-flow EY unit.

As a teacher, I understand the benefits of a staggered start, and have used them for many children with positive effect. Some children, as you rightly point out, are fine going full-time straight away. For some, it maintains a routine and avoids having to use further unfamiliar carers for the parts of the day when they are not at school. The law states that a full-time place should be offered from day one of the autumn term; this means that schools must have the facilities to accommodate this. It's not optional. Our views on whether this is a good or bad thing do not change this.

tethersend · 27/06/2014 18:08

If you choose to go with the staggered starts, you can take up to 18 weeks of unpaid parental leave before the child's 5th birthday.

macdoodle · 27/06/2014 18:14

I would get used to it, schools seem to have a staggering. disrdisregard for working parents. We have had sports day and class assembly with 2 weeks and 1 week notice this week. It's taken some big favours and hefty juggling to go. How can they really know a week in advance only. Was the same with my older now in secondary and they seem to think you can go to meetings and the drop of a hat.

BeeInYourBonnet · 27/06/2014 18:23

Yanbu. Managing school holidays is a nightmare!
What schools don't realise is that most wohp have their annual leave and childcare sorted 6 months+ in advance re school hols.

My current bugbear is that we have just been told that the school are running a one week summer school. The DCs are desperate to go cos aaaaalllll their friends are apparently going and its going to be amazing! This is great, and very handy in theory, had it not been for the school informing us about it THREE WEEKS beforehand!

I had complex childcare arrangements for that week sorted months and months ago. 3 weeks notice is not enough!

BeeInYourBonnet · 27/06/2014 18:25

Same here tethers (are you in Wales?).
My DDs nursery was in same class as Reception, same teacher, same TAs, exactly same experience only slightly more 'work' done in YR.

alemci · 27/06/2014 18:37

I think the staggered starts are ridiculous now especially when many parents work and dc are used to being in nurseries longer than the school day.

I remember my ds going in 2002 and it took 6 weeks' to a whole day. it drove us mad.

OublietteBravo · 27/06/2014 18:50

When DD started school they did half days for two terms. I spent my lunch driving from work to school, school to nursery, and nursery to work.

CSIJanner · 27/06/2014 18:57

My friends had the option of staggered starts with half days or throwing DC straight in with both feet, full days, 5 days a week. They opted for the latter.

I had 3 weeks of 1/2 days for three days, then 1 week 1/2 days for 4 days, followed by a full week of 1/2 days and then finally a full week. Just in time for half term. Stupid!

clam · 27/06/2014 19:28

OP, are you aware that there is a teachers' strike planned for July 10th? (NUT)

Lesleythegiraffe · 27/06/2014 19:33

Where I am (Scotland) we have a list of the school term dates for the next 4 years, so schools can't suddenly decided they're changing when they start or finish.

Original poster

SocksRock · 27/06/2014 20:00

Yes, I'm aware of the strike - our school has never been closed on strike, so I'm hoping it won't this time. I have a complex set of contingencies in place :-)

OP posts:

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