To think that my son is always lying

[BatterseaGirl]

Just that really. He's 12 going on 13 and whenever he speaks I just assume he's lying. And do you know what - he usually is.

What sort of things does he lie about?

It's almost as if it's his default mode. Even if there's no reason to lie, he just will.

What's he lying about?

There's a reason to lie. People only do something because the behavior is being rewarded somehow. Whether to get out of trouble, boost his self esteem, he wants attention, because he impulsively says something without thinking, because he has anxiety, etc..

How do you discipline him? Is it consistent? Do you shout? Does he know what punishment he will get when he does something bad or do you just wing it?

Honestly, unless he's doing it to get out of trouble, I'd ignore it. If you challenge him on it, it may be giving him the attention and reward he's looking for.

Ha! My response to your title was going to be "he probably us!". I have a liar, who then always whines "why do you never believe me?" in sibling fights etc. Because you always lie, that's why!

I'd go the toddler route with him. Like how don't set a small child up for failure by asking it they did something to see if they'll admit guilt. Just tell him he did something wrong as a statement and leave it at that. Stop asking him questions beyond how his day was. Let him come talk to you and initiate where the conversation is going to go.

Oh my....I always said that my DS would lie about what he's had for breakfast. Trouble is...he's so good at lying and I doubt myself sometimes...even when I KNOW it was him who ate my chocolate as he was the only one in the house!! He has grown out of it but it was a horrible time. I don't see it as necessarily a massive problem...ie crying out for attention...He's just a clever little bugger who thinks its funny? I just told him I know it was him and lying will not get him anywhere in life.

i have one that is a spectaculary talented liar who also gets caught out often. I also work on the basis that she is lying if her lips are moving.

So true green.....it was quite funny sometimes...telling me his sis had bitten him when it was his tooth marks ie one missing...plain as day! Other times NOT quite so funny...missing money found in his shoe....But he has grown out of it and is a lovely well thought of young man. There is hope.