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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to buy the teacher a card and a cheap pen

64 replies

samithesausage · 26/06/2014 18:22

The dreaded end of year presents. This year I've bought 3 "Best Teacher" pens and some cards for the children to write.
AIBU to think that this is an ok present and that the teachers probably will end up getting a load of mugs that they won't know what to do with anyway!

OP posts:
temporarilyjerry · 26/06/2014 20:25

I love homemade jam. I hope I have a miniWashingfanatic in my class. Smile

EstellaSpitsEmOut · 26/06/2014 20:38

Sorry but I'm with Xcounty. No one ever gave presents to teachers at my school.

I think a card or message is a nice gesture, but a gift is going too far and unfair on parents who feel under pressure to get something.

I don't think teachers should be allowed to accept gifts.

Asleeponasunbeam · 26/06/2014 20:47

I used to give my teachers a box of After Eights (tiny little square box with maybe four in I should think) or, if they were lucky, a hanky.

That was in the 1980s. It was a token of appreciation (and I'm sure they deserved it for putting up with me all year). I'm sure we weren't the only family who gave presents. It's nothing new.

As a teacher, my favourite present has been the half penguin bar saved from a packed lunch. With love (and finger prints).

Fourarmsv2 · 26/06/2014 21:13

I got nice sets of pens last year for end of year gifts. As a teacher I know marking is slightly more pleasurable with a well flowing biro than with a scratchy cheap red pen.

mumtobetothree · 26/06/2014 21:14

Last year my DD (then 4) cut a spider plant baby off our big one, decorated a terracotta pot (I then varnished it) and planted it up. We made a little flag that said thankyou for helping me learn or something and popped it on a wooden skewer alongside it. I assume it went down well as we saw it being taken home and it's returned in the classroom this year!

EndoplasmicReticulum · 26/06/2014 21:23

I'd enjoy that as a present, I can never have enough pens, and I save cards if they have nice messages in.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 26/06/2014 21:49

My friends DD (16) is buying her teacher a hamster.

Confused

An actual hamster. In a cage. As a gift.

She's adamant about it, has most of the stuff bought ready.

Teacher likes hamsters apparently. Fingers crossed she doesn't end up with 30..!

Shock
YellowTulips · 26/06/2014 22:01

I have just been on the phone and talked about this thread.

She said pens were always welcome, and one kid made a lovely desk tidy out of small boxes they painted which she used for years. A card/picture from the kids was always really lovely and unknown to me she says she saved them in scrapbooks :-)

On the flip side she (as per my earlier post) found OTT presents really weird. Her quote "I taught because I enjoyed it and got paid for it. A thank you is always nice, but parents who sent extravagant presents like a case of champagne one year, just made me feel quite insulted really. Did they think I would do my job better for being bribed? A genuine verbal thanks from the kids or a card was always more than enough."

She also said there was a pretty strong correlation between high end presents and a general sense of entitlement that came from parents and passed to the kids.

YellowTulips · 26/06/2014 22:02

Sorry - on phone to mum Smile

Pipbin · 26/06/2014 22:08

Giving a pet as a gift! What if the teacher is off on holiday soon?

I'm a teacher and a card with a thank you is plenty. As I have said before the nicest gift I ever got from a child was two cards, both handmade, one from the child and one from the mum. Both we filled with heartfelt thank yous.

CateBlanket · 26/06/2014 22:12

Teachers even whinge about the gifts they get Hmm

Wait4nothing · 26/06/2014 22:14

I love the cards - but they do make me well up. I work in a pretty deprived area but some chn obviously wanted to give a present - one wrapped up an individual choc bar - I was thrilled - meant so much.
The best thing was last year (as an nqt) a parent sent a very heartfelt card to me but also emailed the head to comment about my effort with her child. I've kept a copy of the email with the card (she did by flowers to - which was lovely but the words meant more!).

unlucky83 · 26/06/2014 22:50

I never did presents or cards as a child -70s but for DD1 it was discussed with a couple of mums as in what do think is a good thing to get etc (really not competitive...all DC1 s) so did Christmas and summer for DD1 throughout the school -so have to do the same for DD2 really.
Usually get something from the local charity coffee shop - fairtrade from tearfund etc...notebooks, fancy pens, pencil sharpeners and pencils with toppers or cotton shopping bag (for carrying their marking home!) and maybe some biscuits etc...DC chooses what to get within reason -have said no to jewellery etc but yes to a stand for spectacles (One year a teacher thanked me at an open day for lovely presents - seemed she did genuinely like them! ) I figure if you are going to buy something you might as well make it something nice, useful and do some good at the same time...
Problem I've got now as DD2 goes through the school she has a lot of the same teachers as DD1...how many bags do they need? Also DD1 and DD2 both have had the same job share teachers for 2 years in a row ...(8 presents) - running out of inspiration...
And this year have had little time ...went to the coffee shop but got distracted and they were closing so didn't get anything - ended up buying a mug (not best teacher!) and a box of roses for both teachers from ASDA - just taken me the best part of an hour to wrap them - with DD2's 'help' - didn't think that through and didn't have any gift bags handy!
(thankfully DD1 is now at high school and doesn't do teachers' presents!)
Part of me wishes I had never started with the £5-10 presents and just given pens - can see how they would be really useful etc - think if I was teacher they are the present I'd appreciate most - so YADNBU

Pipbin · 26/06/2014 22:59

Teachers even whinge about the gifts they get

Do they Cate? Where have you seen anyone whinge about it? Yes I have said what one of the nicest gifts I got was, but I'm not 'whinging' about any of them.

I never expect anything and appreciate every gift I get.

Pipbin · 26/06/2014 23:02

Oh, one gift I got last year, that I have used for most of this year was a memo block. Small bits of note paper are always useful. I think I must scribble something on it abut 5 times a day.

EarthWindFire · 26/06/2014 23:03

I'm glad I'm not being too cheap. Every year the kids bring muffin trays, mugs, flowers which are quite massive. There's even a collection which is 5-10pound donation!
I thought I would put it in aibu because if it was too cheap, someone would tell me!

You are certainly not being cheap Smile

My parents were both teachers (in fact half my family are) and they would have loved it.

CateBlanket · 26/06/2014 23:11

Pipbin - one teacher even whinging about a case of champagne!

Pipbin · 26/06/2014 23:20

So one teacher mentioned that she found it a bit insulting, and that is a good reason to have a go at teachers is it?

growl3th · 26/06/2014 23:38

My DW has been a headteacher for 2 years now. How I miss those boxes of chocolates and sweets that she never ate. Wink

frames · 26/06/2014 23:42

My DDS teacher has been great. I was going to get a Boots token.

Original poster
samithesausage · 26/06/2014 23:51

Actually this discussion has proved useful for next year as well. Grin I may stock up on fold-up shopping bags and note blocks!
I wonder what the teacher is going to do/say when she or he gets a hamster!

OP posts:
Pipbin · 27/06/2014 00:17

And pretty highlighters pens. Every teacher gets through loads of highlighter pens and post it notes. You can never have too many of them.
Genuinely useful as you generally supply your own stationary, well in my school anyway.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 27/06/2014 07:13

I'd whinge if someone gave me a hamster.

picnicbasketcase · 27/06/2014 07:20

I've decided to make it a rule not to give teachers anything that they can't either eat or regift to someone else. If they get 30 'best teacher' mugs what on earth are they meant to do with them? Wine or chocolate all the way. Maybe a bunch of flowers because at least they have a limited life and I'm not cluttering up someone's house.

turdfairynomore · 27/06/2014 07:20

This is my last day of term today. Yesterday I got the most beautiful, heartfelt note from a parent about my relationship with their son. That's why I do what I do-to make a difference for a child and a parent. Those notes I keep in a special box and when I get a snippy parent-as you can't please everyone-I go through my box and remind myself of the fact that maybe I'm not so bad after all!!