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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Breast Implants for Cosmetic Purposes Okay?

32 replies

Rainbunny · 26/06/2014 00:47

I was following an article (US where I live) about a self-described feminist who got breast implants. The comments section was fairly lively with strong views each way. I must admit, I come down on the side that feels this is a depressing state of affairs - going under invasive procedures to be a "more perfect woman" Ugh. If I have a daughter at some point I hope I do a good job of helping her love and respect her body for all the amazing things it can do and not to feel "less than" because of so-called beauty ideals. Oh, and declaring that getting a boob job is somehow a feminist action is BS!

Here is the link to the article I read, I'm curious as to opinions back on this side of the Atlantic (I've been living so long overseas I wonder if views that I think mark me as British are actually just me being a reactionary old-fart!)

www.xojane.com/issues/im-a-feminist-and-got-breast-implants

OP posts:

sykadelic · 26/06/2014 00:59

I don't see the point to be honest, but then you could also ask why some women with larger breasts have reductions. Large breasts tend to cause back pain. Small breasts can cause self-esteem issues.

I don't want to do either myself but I may need a reduction one of these days and the thought horrifies me (I don't like the "after" look at all).

I'll always remember the shock of a male friend of mine when he hugged me and my boobs were soft. He said his ex, who had implants, had gone hard and it hurt to hug her.

Chunderella · 26/06/2014 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

specialsubject · 26/06/2014 10:56

what are the consequences in America for women who have small breasts?

DreamingofSummer · 26/06/2014 11:02

In a single phrase you've shown why feminism alienates more people than it succours.

WorraLiberty · 26/06/2014 11:07

If I have a daughter at some point I hope I do a good job of helping her love and respect her body for all the amazing things it can do and not to feel "less than" because of so-called beauty ideals.

Are you assuming her parents didn't do a good job at that?

You can help your kids all you want but once they develop minds of their own, they're free to make their own choices.

This woman can still be a feminist with feminist views, ideals and values and choose breast augmentation.

This is one of the reasons some women (myself included) refuse to label themselves as a feminist or any other kind of 'ist'...because complete strangers think they have license to judge everything you do and say after that point.

Joysmum · 26/06/2014 11:11

I've had it done, never thought I'd be the sort to have comes tic surgery bearing in mind I don't do fashion, make up, nails etc.

I had all sorts of opinions thrown at me from people who's opinions were based on them, not me, so I tried to remember that rather than let it upset me.

One thing I will just say from when I was researching is that the risks of changed breast sensation tends to be downplayed. Hypersensitive or reduced sensation is actually quite common which does affect your sex life if you've previously enjoyed stimulation in that region.

I don't regret it though, I feel like the person I used to be. I'd lost 6.5 stone and ended up with empty skin sacks and a botched operation to remove a lump meant that even before losing the weight I was horribly lopsided.

I won't go into how bad I felt, survive to say despite enjoying sex with my DH it was never with the lights on when I lost my weight. I don't regret it.

I'd urge anyone judgey on this to at least try to have empathy and not try to judge others by your own feelings about your own body

Joysmum · 26/06/2014 11:13

Me too.

I post a lot that I am more judged for my choices by feminists than by men. That's my experience so I'm for equal rights to chose but am certainly not a feminist.

Branleuse · 26/06/2014 11:19

ive had it done and i identify as a feminist.

I dont think it was a feminist action, nor do i feel all my actions need to be feminist. Wearing red lipstick and shaving my legs doesnt do much to further feminism either but it doesn't make me not a feminist. I believe in women and men having equal rights, and i believe noone deserves to be discriminated against because of their gender/sex/colour/sexual orientation etc.
I don't really need anyones approval, and dont much care about their disapproval. Hardly any of my friends know that i had surgery. I actually think that the things you can have done now are quite exciting.

KatraAllandra · 26/06/2014 11:26

I've always had massive boobs so haven't considered implants but have seriously thought about a reduction. It was the risks and long term scarring that convinced me not to go ahead and to instead spend money on really good bras which have dealt with the back pain, which was my major problem.

I think that as long as a person fully understands the risks of what they are planning to do then it's no ones business but their own. I am, however, disturbed by the way cosmetic surgery clinics promote themselves with special offers and stuff which seem designed to get people to make snap decisions about what is often major surgery with real risks both short and long term.

MyFairyKing · 26/06/2014 11:31

This. If we had a like button, I would like this.

Sallystyle · 26/06/2014 11:32

I have not had it done but if I had the money I think I would consider it.

I am an A cup and I went through a stage where I hated it. I then got over it, but every now and then I wish I was bigger. I don't look as good in some clothes and yes, sometimes I feel I would look more feminine with a bust.

I am a feminist because I believe that women should have equal rights to choose how they live their lives and should have the same protection as men under the law.

I didn't realise that to be a feminist you have to live a certain way; I thought it was just about believing all women should have equal choices.

Branleuse · 26/06/2014 11:35

i dont think cosmetic surgery companies should be allowed to advertise in the way they do. The obes that do this, employ sales people as well. I refused to actually use one company i phoned for info, as they kept calling me back and trying to pressurise. I thought that was very bad practice. There needs to be much better regulation about these sort of conveyor belt surgery companies.

SaucyJack · 26/06/2014 11:37

IMO being a feminist and judging women for the choices they make regarding their own bodies are two mutually exclusive things.

ScarlettDragon · 26/06/2014 11:38

It isn't a feminist action, but the choice to have or not to have a boob job is a feminist action. Yes we live in a patriarchal society where women are never perfect. But it a strong woman who can go against every patriarchal notion about her appearance and refuse to conform. Most women just try to live their lives whilst conforming without conforming too much. I shave my legs, arm pits, very occasionally my bikini line if I'm going swimming. But refuse to take off all my pubic hair (urgh). I don't feel the need to have breast implants because I'm well endowed in that area fat. Yet my DSD has very small boobs and is considering a boob job. I don't admonish her for wanting it done, I tell her she doesn't need it, but if she chooses to have it done then it's her decision alone to make and nothing to do with anyone else and I will of course support her.

I try not to judge other women for doing what they feel they need to do to get by in a society that hates them

I totally agree with this. I'm a feminist and one of the biggest misconceptions of feminism is that women aren't allowed to this that and the other if they're feminists. That's complete BS! Feminism is about choice, and the right to make your own choices without having to answer to other people. If more women spent more time being supportive of each other's choices rather than fighting between themselves and declaring that they couldn't possibly be feminists we'd have a far better chance of smashing the patriarchy to smithereens!

Birdsgottafly · 26/06/2014 11:44

You are making a judgment based on assumptions, though.

I know people who don't consider surgery drastic and have good self esteem, but don't like their breast size/shape etc.

I can't accept my grey hair, I understand that for the women I know who have had breast surgery, they see it as a way of forever curing what they can't accept.

It's a bit like wearing a wig, for some people. Do all those black women that wear wigs all have self esteem issues and let feminism down?

TillyTellTale · 26/06/2014 11:51

what are the consequences in America for women who have small breasts?

Like everywhere else, depends on your surroundings. I have an American friend who rants about this. She has been told since puberty that she'll never find a husband without surgery, by her family. She's a B cup and 29

Hopefully her experience is unusual.

Chunderella · 26/06/2014 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZanyMobster · 26/06/2014 14:53

I find it disrespectful that you have implied that someone who has implants has not been 'parented' correctly.

I had implants as after 2 children and breastfeeding they were 'deflated'. I did it for me and no one else, many of my friends said they would love to if they can afford it as they miss having perky boobs.

I don't think it is necessarily a feminist issue at all, people are entitled to do what they want to with their bodies.

Pumpkinpositive · 26/06/2014 15:05

No breast implants (NO NEED!!) but I have a piece of metal in my chin from a genioplasty. I did it because I had no chin.

Does this mean I can't be a feminist or is it only augmentation to one's mammaries that disqualifies you?

If the woman had had a breast reduction would people still fling the same muck??

MiniTheMinx · 26/06/2014 15:37

I don't think feminism is about choice, its about critiquing the lack of choices. So much of our identity and value is tied to how we feel others perceive us. Its not about individual choices, because we are not individuals, we are subjects, subject to ideology and pressure to conform to what we perceive to be the ideal. Every woman who undergoes surgery will believe she is acting without any form of coercion, but I refute this because its an impossibility.

That said, I wouldn't mind having mine done!!

Chunderella · 26/06/2014 16:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 26/06/2014 16:13

Breast reductions are often also done in order for clothes to fit better

This is often the same for women who are very flat chested

mloo · 26/06/2014 16:29

I always fancied being flat chested. Am not huge, I just think flat chested must be great.

I don't understand vanity, I don't like the pressure on us to be vain, and I don't approve. Tidy presentation I see the value of. But hours spent on makeup or hair or body reshaping? It's a bit like a strange food would be for others, I can't get the appeal at all. I'm surprised that other people aren't extremely embarrassed to be so obviously vain & immodest.

mloo · 26/06/2014 16:30

ps: breast reduction for practical reasons makes huge sense to me, I was just thinking about enhancements in last post.

specialsubject · 26/06/2014 16:30

tilly that is an emotionally abusive family, not (I hope!) American society. I hope your mate has cut off contact.

if people want cosmetic surgery because THEY prefer how they will look, fine as long as they pay for it. I have my hair straightened, that's as far as I go.

mini if you are subject to peer pressure, sort it out. It is insulting also to assume that no other woman can think for herself - how very 1900s...

'mental anguish of the flat chested' - puh-leaze. Is everyone still in primary school?

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