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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No High School, Total Farce & Feeling Scared for DD...

29 replies

RockinHippy · 26/06/2014 00:24

Long & drawn out back story, will post a link to the old thread for those interested, but basically DD has health problems meaning we need a close as possible school with good pastoral care & deals well with bullying.

Not enough school places & a complete & utter fuck up of a system we have here means, we didn't get allocated any of our choice of schools, but offered the worst local school, which is a long way from us, starts the day earlier than other schools too & is renown fir bad behaviour & bullying - DDs older friend went there last year, she cried on DDs shoulder over racial bullying everyday, she was thoroughly miserable until she managed to get a place elsewhere - everything about the school is wrong fir DD - she genuinely cannot travel that far.

I thought we had a strong case for appeal for our close school, well known for it's excellent pastoral care, strong anti bullying policy .& general well behaved kids - I put do much work into it, despite my own health problems, I worked like a dog, checking & rechecking to make sure I had don't everything right. I had 5 medical letter support us, consultants letter naming the school - it has the kind of sports facilities that can help DD stay well too

We lost our appeal, they agree we need a close school, but won't accept we specifically need this school - next closest school not good with bullying & behaviour, good friends had to take their DD out of there because she was self harming as a result of ongoing bullying.

Now at Ombudsman complaint stage & I just feel crushed by this whole thing - LAs response to the complaint basically says that they sympathise, but won't accept DD needs this school, despite many valid reasons - LGO has said that they accept this & won't peruse the complaint further, pending my reply - it's like some soul destroying tennis game & I'm just not well enough to cope

Disability charity lawyer has now looked at case file - said I had a very strong case & doesn't understand why we lost - yet reply to LGO paperwork that it looks likely that there's no more hope, but will read through my response.

DD has been through hell & back, years of bullying & ongoing injuries as a result of the argy bargyb& bad behaviour, sometimes out & out bullying at her old primary school, fractures, sprains dislocations etc excluded & bullied for years - she was crushed & so ill.

We finally took her out of there & she's now in a new primary - she's not had an injury since, she loves it so much I have my shiny, happy, bubbly gregarious DD back :)

We got the news if losing the appeal - it contributed to putting DD in hospital, 2 weeks of hellish pain for her, with an intestinal blockage & colitis. Followed by laryngitis, flu, & a nasty chest infection

She thinks we will win, I have told her she won't have to go to the bad school she's afraid of, we will get there in the end, I believed this, because her medical need is genuine & it's our local school & it's just what's right -

but I'm seriously losing hope, I've lost all faith in our stupid fucking system & a legal right to a suitable school place for DD

Tonight she sat & told me how happy she is, she has friends that really like her, are kind & thoughtful, support her when she's ill & aren't backstabbing bitches who bully others & try & make her be like them & hurt her when she refuses, don't push her over & tug on her arms etc & cause real injuries such as fractures & sprains, that the boys don't grope & grab & punch in the face & they listen in lessons. She said she just wants to stay with them forever - 19 of them will be going to the school we appealed for, other friends go there too

Why the fuck can't our LA see that she has a genuine medical need - why does she have no high school to go to

I just want to scream

How can I help her through this when it all goes tits up - she's putting a brave face in it, but she's really struggling with all the high school chatter :(

OP posts:
AndHarry · 26/06/2014 10:57

Exactly what Tilly said ^

It is not an excuse or mitigation if the outcome of a criminal action is worse than would be normally expected because the victim was particularly susceptible to injury.

Phaedra11 · 26/06/2014 11:10

I'm sorry to highjack this thread but DS2 has health issues which have made secondary school an issue and I've considered taking him out and home educating.

I'd never heard of InterHigh or online schools before but I've just been on the InterHigh website and it looks like it could be perfect for DS. If anyone has had experience of this or similar and could PM me, I would be so grateful!

Apologies again for the highjack, OP. I hope you are eventually successful in finding the right school for your DD. I have had similar issues and can empathise.

Stratter5 · 26/06/2014 12:00

My eldest went to Interhigh, the level of education was excellent, and she was able to integrate back into mainstream for her A levels, and did very well.

We had one issue, they forgot to enter her for her IGCSEs, a huge mistake, but it was a long time ago and I know they put strategies into place after it happened. She is 21 now, so it was a while ago and they were quite new to the game.

Stratter5 · 26/06/2014 12:02

Forgot to say, she loved Interhigh, and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was also fantastic having her at home with me.

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