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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like a fraudster for logging into ibanking as DH

30 replies

pupsiecola · 25/06/2014 15:36

Been doing it for 10 years plus. Changed banks recently. Just got a bit of a talking down to in branch. It's fraudulent. But I handle all the accounts. And I can't look at/pay our credit card bill (with same bank) logged in as myself because he's the main card holder. So I always log in as him. Daily. I check the current account and credit card bill daily whilst things are fresh in my mind. Apparently that's surprising. I should get a paper statement once a month and check it that way.

We've been locked out of ibanking a couple of times lately too (over zealous security, with us being new, I think). And of course I have to call them when DH is here, hand the phone over so he can listen to the security questions, he tells them to hang on a mo, asks me for the answers, relays the answers to the person at the other end, then gives them permission to talk to me. Crazy.

Surely there are loads of us who do this? Or perhaps we are just really old fashioned. But I have always looked after the finances. I have much more time than DH for this sort of thing.

(On a serious note I really should make sure that DH knows all the security codes. They are written down - he's just not all that interested (fine by me)). But there are so many! This new bank has an ID, a photo, a nickname, a password and a passcode, plus had to set up THREE security questions as well (mother's maiden name etc.). Times that by 3 for all the different accounts we have (and that's just banking) and I can see why DH doesn't know them!!

OP posts:
BravePotato · 25/06/2014 15:39

seriously, why is holding all the cards? (literally...)

It makes no sense, get your own cards.

You can share accounts. I can get into our joint accounts as me. We bothe have a card to the same account.

Do you really need so many accounts BTW?

It sounds like you do the boring stuff, but he holds the cards. Why?

MissDuke · 25/06/2014 15:39

My hubby doesn't know how to log into internet banking either - he really hasn't a clue! I do it all. However our accounts are all joint accounts so both our names are on it. Tbh I don't see the problem as he has agreed to it!

pupsiecola · 25/06/2014 15:45

He doesn't hold all the cards. These are all joint accounts. But we have separate log ins for both banks, as is normal as I understand it. With Santander I cannot see our joint credit card details/transactions if I'm logged in as myself because I am not the main card holder.

He is very capable of logging in. He's a senior techie for a big techie company. It's not that he's not capable. He's just so busy and I'm not as busy.

We have the old bank account which we will keep as if we move abroad it would be a good one to have credit/rent/etc wise (20 years' history) and we have the new one. We also have a couple of savings accounts.

It's him that should be worried lol - I could run off with the lot!!

OP posts:
sleepisforthetired · 25/06/2014 15:46

I do our banking.

DP royally messed it up when I was in hospital years ago - so now I just do it all. He is happy to be mothered, and I am happy that bills which affect us as a family are paid and up-to-date :)

Youdontneedacriminallawyer · 25/06/2014 15:50

Change banks. DH and I have one joint current account with First Direct. We are both able to do as many transactions with out the other's permission as we want to.

You've either
a)misunderstood the rules
b)misunderstood the type of account you have
c)have a crap bank
d)are being taken for a ride

Nomama · 25/06/2014 15:50

Go in and ask for a 3rd party mandate on his account. I have always had one on for DH. He works away and I need to be able to act on his behalf to shift money around a lot.

I think I can even sign his cheques!

And yes, mine also jokes that I could clean him out and he wouldn't have a clue!

Hoppinggreen · 25/06/2014 15:53

Credit cards are a bit different to bank accounts, there is always ( as far as I know) a primary and secondary card holder.
The secondary one can't really change anything or do any major transactions.

pupsiecola · 25/06/2014 16:02

criminallaywer none of the above.

We get a lot of dosh back as it's a cash bank account/credit card/mortgage so don't plan on changing. The ID aspect is due to data protection laws. As hoppinggreen states, credit cards are dealt with differently to bank accounts. I can log in as myself and do anything I want, except anything to do with the bank account.

I will look into that nomama. Thanks!

OP posts:
Nomama · 25/06/2014 16:07

Remember to take him with you... he has to request it... I found that out the embarrassing way - "I say, Bank Bod, could you fix it so I can get into all DHs accounts without him actually having to be here?" Didn't go down well.

But I took him in and he explained the problem and it was all done and dusted in seconds. I suspect it will have changed - we did this about 30 years ago and again about 20 years ago when we changed banks. It may be called something else. But you can definitely set up a legal permission to access each others accounts.

OR make everything joint in bank that doesn't do primary card holder crap! If I ever got one of them - and we all know they put HIM as primary by default - I'd leave the bank immediately!

Good luck!

pupsiecola · 25/06/2014 16:17

Her point about the fraud is that if DH has given me the credentials to log on as him and then I run off with all the money he hasn't got a leg to stand on. And vice versa. Apparently her dad did it to her mum.

OP posts:
Freckletoes · 25/06/2014 16:18

We do exactly the same-DH is hopeless with money, all the local banks have shut so I do all the online banking. Some of the accounts and credit cards are solely his but I do all the dealings with them. So I guess I need a wrist slap too!

canweseethebunnies · 25/06/2014 16:25

Why aren't you the main card holder? Can't you be equal card holders? ( I know nothing about joint bank accounts as I have never had one)

canweseethebunnies · 25/06/2014 16:26

Ah, I see it's a credit card. Ignore me.

canweseethebunnies · 25/06/2014 16:28

They are contradicting themselves really. If he wouldn't have a leg to stand on if you ran off with the money, then you probably wouldn't be done for fraud!

s88 · 25/06/2014 16:30

We're the same . my dp wouldn't have a clue how to do Internet banking or phone banking . He wouldn't know any passwords codes anything .

I'm 25 and have done this for the last 8/9 years

Jayne35 · 25/06/2014 17:21

I also sort out all the finances in our house. DH and I have separate bank accounts (only because if we went joint my bad credit rating would have caused problems). I pay all the bills, move money around etc. I know technically it's fraudulent but it's easier for one person to deal with it all, saves confusion and our money is 'ours' anyway.

AgaPanthers · 25/06/2014 17:25

Normally if you are joint bank account holders, you are jointly liable and one can't really be separate from the other.

But for credit cards if you are the second card holder then they are right, and you shouldn't really log in as him, because you are merely an additional card holder, and not in fact joint.

TalkinPeace · 25/06/2014 17:28

OP
I am an accountant. DH is a lecturer. AS he so eloquently puts it "why have a dog and bark yourself"
there fore I do ALL of our finances both for his business, my business, our personal stuff and our credit card.
The credit card happens to be in his name.
I/he logged in and put a written note on the file that I can speak to them on his behalf on all issues.

Where its a joint account, both parties have full access to the funds so the "running away with the money" line is an UTTER red herring.
For the businesses I'm his appointed agent so have full legal cover.

But you are actually VERY common to be skill sharing and getting one person to run the finances.

Nomama · 25/06/2014 17:30

TalkinPeace - that's the 3rd party mandate I was talking about Smile

It should be that simple - back then it was all face to face. It may well be possible for OP OPs DH to do that online these days!

TalkinPeace · 25/06/2014 17:33

Nomama
I have them for various clients : I log into their HMRC systems both on my name and their IDs and sign my own name because its all legit and above board.

The fraudulent stuff is just scare tactics (like Wonga's made up law firms)

Redcoats · 25/06/2014 17:37

I do it all. If I fell under a bus tomorrow, he wouldn't have a clue. We'd probably default on the mortgage before I was even cold.
I like being in control of it all. Never had a problem with anyone other than Virgin media who won't let me report faults on the phone without his passwords (which obviously I know because I set it up in the first place)

Nomama · 25/06/2014 17:39

I was asked by one provider if someone other than myself had provided the password... I honestly replied 'no'.... as I too had set DHs bloody account up in the first place.

TalkinPeace · 25/06/2014 17:48

Oh yeah, the classic "we need to speak to Mr Talk"
blah blah blah
and then he shouts out to me "what IS my memorable word?"
at which point they relent and talk to me Grin

or the belter where they phoned up to query an unusual transaction - DH was out so I found out how much my Birthday present cost before I got it Smile

Nomama · 25/06/2014 17:54

We have fun, DH build mobile phone infrastructure, so wherever he is the signal is down, cos he is installing/fixing/upgrading it.

So when 'they' insist on talking to him, despite the fact that we always explain why they have to talk to me I patiently explain why they can't. They usually ask if I can phone and get him to call them back!

Well yeah, when he calls in at about 9pm I'll tell him, he'll swear and go back to work at about 6 am... which end of the day will you be in your office waiting to take his call?

The first world office bod really does not understand the concept of no mobile phone available!

aquashiv · 25/06/2014 17:57

Make yourself the main card holder then?

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