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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re DH and prize money?

40 replies

SeattleGraceMercyDeath · 25/06/2014 13:32

AIBU? DH took part in a Fantasy football league amongst friends, 10 quid entry kind of thing, winner takes all, DH won and he got a message from his friend who was organising it saying he had lent friend B a sum of money equating to the amount of winnings of the fantasy football so DH would have to get the winnings from him. DH asked friend B about the cash and he asked if he could pay it this month rather than last. Last time he saw friend B friend b told him he was sadly being made redundant in a company restructure, obviously not the time to ask for money from him.

We're almost at the end of the month now and still no cash. It's not a huge sum of money but about 150 quid so not to be sniffed at, I'm annoyed because friend A had no right to pass on the debt for DH to collect and also with DH as he didn't question it at the time. Sigh. We're never going to get the money are we? I know it's money we've never had so will never miss but AIBU to be annoyed about it all?

OP posts:
CSIJanner · 25/06/2014 13:34

Tell Friend A that the debt is not your husbands problem, its his. If Friend A had a debt, its for him to collect. Friend A owes to you, not Friend B.

CoolCat2014 · 25/06/2014 13:35

Yeah that's not right. Do all of DHs friends know that their money was squandered by the collector? I'd be angry if I were them.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 25/06/2014 13:38

The two issues have nothing to do with each other. Friend A needs to pay your DH. If he is difficult, the others of the group need to be informed (and, they probably do anyway, if he is likely to be the treasurer again in this way). An email reply to A's first one, copied into everyone would be one effective way if he gets difficult ...

WooWooOwl · 25/06/2014 13:39

Friend A is a prick. Everyone who took part in this should be told that their entry money has disappeared in to friend As beer/car/whatever fund never to be seen again, because he has taken the piss out of every single person who took part, not just your DH.

Sadly you probably won't see the money again unless A does the right thing, but he would no longer be a friend, and I'd hope that anyone in the group with any decency would feel the same.

MisForMumNotMaid · 25/06/2014 13:39

He needs to go back to the person who organised it and ask for the money off him. Unless everyone in the betting pool agreed the loan of the pot the fact this man has a private loan with another person is irrelevant.

miraim · 25/06/2014 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CiderLover · 25/06/2014 13:41

The £10 that each person put in, should have been kept safe and most definitely not spent!

I would inform other members of the kitty and ask Friend A what happened to the money everybody put in

x2boys · 25/06/2014 13:45

Is this not theft? If friend A has a private arrangement to lend friend B money then it should be his money not prize money I have saved with Xmas clubs before now and if the person collecting the money spent it I would consider it theft .

5Foot5 · 25/06/2014 13:45

Agree with TwoAndTwo. This is not just a personal matter between your DH and friend A. That money potentially belonged to any one of the people in the syndicate so they all should know they have potentially been swindled out of their winnings like this.

Maybe start it confrontationallty "Hey mate, x days since end of competition and still no winnings? When can I collect?"

Sadly though I suspect that if your DH didn't make an enormous fuss at the time that A had the outrageous cheek to tell him he had lent the money elsewhere and he had to go get it himself then he probably hasn't got the backbone to do it now.

5Foot5 · 25/06/2014 13:47

I have saved with Xmas clubs before now and if the person collecting the money spent it I would consider it theft .

Didn't Arthur Fowler do time for that?

Lucked · 25/06/2014 13:52

Get DH to text A and say I think your debt with B is confusing the situation. I will collect my winnings from you and you can sort out the debt - which ultimately isn't my responsibility and is making me feel a little awkward.

I think A will pay up if called on it tbh, just need DH to man up and do it.

Lucked · 25/06/2014 13:53

Steal DHs phone whilst he is in the loo and text AWink

Original poster
SeattleGraceMercyDeath · 25/06/2014 13:54

5ft5 nail on the head there big time, no DH probably won't make a fuss about it, he's been friends with these men since school and I think (well I know) that he has hang ups still, despite being in his 30's about not being cool/outgoing/popular enough for them. Stupid I know and he'd totally deny it but I suspect the fact that he has won the pot has in part led to the scenario unfolding as per above as I doubt (maybe I'm wrong) that friend A would have done this if anyone else had won.

OP posts:
ApprenticeViper · 25/06/2014 13:55

YANBU

Friend A is a knob. He doesn't want to ask Friend B for the money because it will make him look the bad guy with B being made redundant, so he's trying to make your DH look the bad guy instead by wanting to collect, which obviously your DH has every right to do.

Was B in the Fantasy Football as well? If he was, he's a knob too; he needed to borrow money off A but he had a spare tenner to put in the Fantasy Football? Hmm

Will B not have received a redundancy payment? If so, I'd say it was the perfect time to ask him for money - why should your DH's winnings top up his bank account?

Original poster
SeattleGraceMercyDeath · 25/06/2014 13:56

Not explained myself well there, the hang ups he has leading to him not wanting to rock the boat and appear confrontational. Which is infuriating as every other avenue in life he is articulate and very well liked!

OP posts:
Original poster
SeattleGraceMercyDeath · 25/06/2014 13:57

Just received a text from DH, he says he has texted A&B asking who exactly is going to pay up because he's the only one losing out right now. Maybe that rocket I put up his arse has done something!

OP posts:
ApprenticeViper · 25/06/2014 13:58

X post with OP, sorry.

Your DH not collecting his winnings won't make him any more popular/cool with these "friends", or make them like him any more. If anything, they might respect him a bit more if he stands up for himself.

notapizzaeater · 25/06/2014 14:00

Good, let's hope that shames A into,paying.

ApprenticeViper · 25/06/2014 14:00

Hurrah! Good for your DH for manning up Grin

And good work with the rockets OP

Joolsy · 25/06/2014 14:03

OK so Friend A lent Friend B some money which happens to equate to the amount of the winnings, which as far as I'm concerned is a coincidence and totally irrelevant. Friend A needs to pay up - nothing to do with Friend B and he shouldn't even be involved. Please don't let this go on any longer - your OH needs to get what he is due from Friend A without any more excuses.

MasqueradeWaltzer · 25/06/2014 14:09

Until Friend A pays up, he's defrauded everyone who took part in that contest.

x2boys · 25/06/2014 14:10

Yes 5ft5 Arthur fowler did time for it ,I saved through parks though I think via a colleague .

x2boys · 25/06/2014 14:12

Does everybody who took part in this contest know what friend A has done I,d be tempted to name and shame him.

Original poster
SeattleGraceMercyDeath · 25/06/2014 14:17

I suspect no one other than DH, A & B know what happened to be honest.

OP posts:
SarcyMare · 25/06/2014 14:22

"Didn't Arthur Fowler do time for that?"
that ages you and me :)