More a wwyd but was I wrong?

[mumteedum]

Went to a national trust place today. My friend had taken her dd to loo. I was eating my lunch at one of many picnic tables whilst ds (3 year old nearly) was playing in view, but maybe 10 metres away diagonally. He was playing with an ornamental bike thing with a cart on the bike. Full size, olden days thing just fixed to ground.

Anyway, a woman walks along the path between me and ds. She stops and looks at him, then walks back towards him. I'm smiling as he's pretty confident and it's all fine. She's talking to him though I can't hear, but not wanting to helicopter I just keep an eye from my table.

Then, I'm thinking, it is a bit odd that she hasn't looked round to acknowledge the parent (me) at all, just as she picks him up to sit him on the bike. At this point I go over. The bike is way off the ground and he couldn't balance by himself. When I get to her she doesn't engage in chat and I wasn't rude but just had an instinct that it seemed odd. She mumbled something like 'all right?' at me and I just said yes fine as I picked him up and took him back to my table.

Was I being OTT? What would you have done?

I would have probably done the same as you. Had the women spoken to you before chatting with your son, or at least acknowledged you it would probably have been fine, but seeing as she didn't engage with you I'd have probably move my DC away from her. Sometimes you do need to listen to instincts as its not like you were rude to her.

Picking up a child without the parent's permission is just not on. You weren't wrong or OTT.

Very odd, not sinister, just not okay. You were right to react like you did.

Thanks for replies. No not sinister just odd and felt bit weird. Glad you'd have done same. It's hard to be confident in your response sometimes. He's my only and I know I'm a worrier but I do think instinct shouldn't be ignored.

I wouldn't instigate a conversation with a child unless a) I was either with my own child and another child came over to play with us, or b) I thought they were lost. I certainly wouldn't pick up a child I didn't know unless it had fallen over and I would always be keeping an eye out for a child's parent/guardian if I was interacting with them to reassure them and also to gauge their reaction to see if my presence was making them uncomfortable.

You were right to act upon your instinct.

I had a similar one today. Just a person very overly friendly with DD and not particularly with me. However, I thought of my DBro, who is on the spectrum and much better socially with kids than with adults so that crossed my mind. People touching DD without her or my permission is not on though.

I'd have done the same thing as you. Not because I think it's overly odd that she lifted him but just to let her and ds know that I was there. If she was between you and ds, might he have been trying to climb up on to the bike? I wouldn't normally touch a dc I didn't know but if I thought they were possibly putting themself in danger and I was the closest adult then I would intervene.

He wasn't trying to climb up and no couldn't have done by himself. He was crouched down spinning pedals round. There was no chain and wasn't in any danger of hurting self. She just picked him up and put him on the saddle.

I'm pretty relaxed about things like this but I would have done the same as you. My own rule is that if a child talks to me I'll talk back and if they're in danger and I'm the closest adult I'll intervene but I always check where the parent is.
She was acting a little odd, probably just being friendly and trying to be helpful but I would have made my presence known as well, YANBU .