To think compulsive over eating is a mental health illness *warning may be sensitive*

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

"All you have to do to lose weight is to eat healthier and exercise more"

Oh really? I had no idea. So all the over eating I have been doing for the last 22 years to comfort me through a very rough childhood can be cured just like that? Wow, thanks, that's very helpful, all my problems are solved then.

No! I'm sorry but this is an extremely ignorant view. Would you say to an anorexic "just eat more food. You'll be fine in no time"? I sincerely hope you wouldn't. So why would you challenge an over eater as to why they don't eat less food?

Don't get me wrong, I understand people must take responsibility for themselves. I'm not denying that. But for people who have had traumatic upbringings or events in their lives and turn to food for comfort, it can feel like they have lost all control over their eating. This is how I feel, and yes, I need help. It's not so easy to ask for it. Being obese is shameful enough without going to someone and admitting it. From the outside looking in, it doesn't seen so bad. But when you're the one asking, it can seem truly daunting, so many people just don't ask for it.

I want to talk about a taboo subject here, and debunk a myth that states all fat people are just lazy slobs who have no self control and just like to eat all day. This is not only judgemental and a disgusting way to think, it's also completely ridiculous. Many larger people have active lives, many of us take part in sports and have normal active lives. Just because we are over weight doesn't mean we lie around all day stuffing our faces. I have 6 children, do you think I have time to sit my arse on my couch all day? And no, my children are not overweight, for those wondering.

The self control issue, however may be correct. Because when you eat until you are so very unhealthy, you have lost control haven't you? If I could just stop over eating I would. Why the hell would I (or anyone) eat so much that they got dangerously overweight on purpose? I don't enjoy it, and don't know many people who do. I'm not saying it's an excuse to be fat, or makes it ok.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that compulsive over eaters have a problem, just like people who starve themselves, or people who have depression(which I also have) and deserve help, sympathy and respect, and not ridicule and being made fun of.

So to all my school bullies, and those "friends" and family members and even judgemental people who think obese people are too lazy to do anything about their weight, trust me, you are just making a mental health problem worse. Unless you have struggled with this problem you will never understand.

[WorraLiberty]

Yes there is much more to it than a mental heath issue but the OP is talking about compulsive over eating being a MH issue.

The opening post was a bit confusing because towards the end I thought she was talking about obesity in general, but she's just talking about compulsive over eaters.

Having said that, I've never heard/read anyone telling someone with known MH issues to eat less and move more. I normally hear/read a disclaimer that says "Unless there is medical reasons for their obesity".

But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen

[YouMakeMeHappy]

YANBU. I don't understand why people are happy to class anorexia as a mental illness, but extremely overweight people just lack willpower.

Personally I don't understand either problem, so I can't help but think to myself that they should both put more effort into eating sensibly. But they are both different sides of the same coin.

Anorexics starve themselves to death and over eaters eat themselves to death (in extreme cases)

[IrianofWay]

nicole - because people are unhappier? Life is more stressful? And because there are more unhealthy foods, cheaper and more easily available than ever before. It's so easy to pop into a supermarket fill your trolley full of cheap cheerful junk food and go home to comfort eat.

I am a depressive - have been most of my adult life. I tend to comfort eat at times. The ADs also pile the weight on. I am currently losing weight by cutting out the crap from my diet. I have never been very overweight but big enough to feel miserable about it. But sometimes when I am having a stressful day at work and I think 'never mind, when I get home I can have a nice big bowl of pasta, or some chocolate .....' and I realise that no, I can't, I get an almost panicky feeling. it passes and I am getting better but it's there.

Food is my rock, the one things that I love to cook, love to look forward to and love to eat. A socially acceptable, accessible drug of choice.

[KoalaDownUnder]

Nicole, agreed. I think it's because extremely densely calorific food is cheaper and more readily available than at any time in history. 1950s housewives just didn't have access to the range of junk food that we have today.

Overeating disorders are one manifestation of a mental health problem. For other generations, Prozac/Valium abuse or alcohol abuse might have been more prevalent.

I think people on this thread are erroneously conflating compulsive overeating and obesity. They often go hand in hand, sure, but you can be obese without being a compulsive overeater. And you can be a compulsive overeater without being obese.

That's my understanding, anyway.

[lynniep]

I've come to the convo late, but I'd just like to say that I agree with the OP. For 25 years I had a 'recognised' eating disorder (bulimia) I finally came to the conclusion that I could do with some help. I saw a counsellor. We tried really hard to pick apart what it was about me/my situation that made me purge. We came to the conclusion that actually, bulimia was a symptom. It was the compulsive overeating that was really the problem and the thing I had to tackle, because without the overeating, the purging didn't happen. Seems obvious really.
Compulsive eating is not the same as overeating due to greed. It brings no pleasure. It causes internal battles every day. If I eat one biscuit its nice. I'm then compelled to eat all of them. Do I enjoy all of them? No. I feel sick but I shove them in anyway. Why? Well that's the question isn't it? Why. I don't vomit any more. I got my head around that bit. I still think about it, but I can beat those thoughts. However I'm a right old fatty now. There's something wrong with my wiring that makes me want to force food in that I neither want nor need. I try to fill the hole with hobbies. I sew. I go to a couple of exercise classes a week. I make loom bands with the boys. Yet there's a niggle always in the back of my head "wait till they've gone upstairs then see whats in the cupboards". This is surely a mental health problem.

Obesity is rising, because the quality of food that we eat is decreasing. We are hooked on convenience. I am guilty of this too and it doesn't help my eating habits. Women aren't staying at home cooking nice fresh meals any more - they are going out to work as well (yes I know - sweeping generalisation there, but I'm sure you know what I'm getting at)

We have everything to hand these days, yet its to the detriment of our health.

[Hedgehead]

YANBU

[WorraLiberty]

I think the general rise in obesity is primarily down to people eating too much in one sitting, then snacking and taking very little exercise.

My Dad still has the dinner plates he and my Mum were given on their wedding day (nearly 60 years ago) and they are much smaller than the plates we see now.

Also, there were very few 2 car families (if any, that I can remember) and only 3 channels on the TV when I was growing up in the 70s.

Even shopping and housework were quite strenuous activities without supermarkets and the mod cons we have now.

High Streets only had the odd cafe and a fish and chip shop and there was no such thing as delivery.

I don't even think it's primarily down to people eating shit food...I think it's mostly down to them eating far too much of it.

[bauhausfan]

I am a good cook and my kids eat well balanced diets BUT I had a v abusive childhood. I have self-harmed, taken over doses etc and while I don't do that stuff any more, I still do use food as a form of self-abuse. It's because deep down I hate myself and I hate myself because my parents hated me. I am a size 18 and I hate the fact that I wear my own self-loathing for all to see :(

[IrianofWay]

And I wonder if perhaps the increasing visibility of the overweight amongst the population creates a vicious circle. When I were a lass (ahem... 40 years ago), there were only a handful of very overweight people in our little town - it was, I think, assumed they were ill or there was some other reason for the weight. They were the exception. Now they aren't the exception so much and people are more likely to make snide, nasty comments or to make snide nasty assumptions now. Not helped by all the talk on the news etc. That is massively stressful too. Being seen as a 'National Issue' and being discussed on News Night and all over the Today programme can't do much for your self-esteem I guess.

[bauhausfan]

There are people with gastric bands who have liquidised junk food so that they can eat it. No one sees me self-harm with food. It is a private and secret activity. Only my DH knows - he is very loving and supportive towards me. He says it makes him sad to see me treat myself so badly. I'm just glad that I no longer do the worse things I used to do.

[IrianofWay]

"I am a size 18 and I hate the fact that I wear my own self-loathing for all to see "

So sorry bauhaus That was sort of what I meant with my last post. Functioning alcoholics or drug addicts can hide their addictions to a large extent.

[WorraLiberty]

IrianofWay that's a very good point and one I have never thought of.

In my entire Primary school I can only remember 2 overweight kids and yes, it was more or less assumed they had a medical condition.

So back then, people like the OP would probably have got far more sympathy/understanding than judgement.

[Back2Two]

linniep - isn't "the hole" that you talk of filling the actual mental health issue.....not the over eating (just another way of filling "the hole"

It's impossible to disentangle psychological issues and the relationship with food once the relationship with food becomes abusive.

But, there are so many other other factors, some of them have been mentioned already.

What about sugar highs and lows which support binge eating and craving behaviours (vicious cycle here) An unbalanced diet can affect the balance of nutrients, can affect the production of hormones etc etc etc.

Our eating can be governed by our emotions of course. But the harm of over eating and/or eating an unhealthy diet (albeit in a binge) can upset the "mechanics" of our body in a way that, in turn affects our moods etc. Diabetes for example (causal link with depression)

The gut is more emotionally a part of us than we may recognise. Seratonin is apparently made in the gut.

Our bodies are run by chemicals...... Food affects production and production levels.

Addressing the emotional issue is essential. But, changing the food that we eat can massively affect our emotional health for BIO-CHEMISTRY related reasons, not just becuase it makes us feel better to LOOK slim and healthy.

[Sleepwhenidie]

Great post back2 - you've nailed a lot of the issues, a two-pronged attack is required...not involving a 'diet' or restrictions but an approach that focuses on nourishing the body well, at the same time working on nourishing the soul and improving self esteem/resolving the emotional/MH issues.

[wadingthroughtreacleuphill]

It's hugely tangled and complicated but like all addictions it can be mastered, which is not the same as saying 'it's easy'.

I think that there is far too much pussyfooting around food related conditions if I am truthful. I say that as someone who's sister nearly died of anorexia on several occasions in her teens - she'll never carry a child even now, and has never had a period (we are 31 and 29.)

Yes, there are reasons, but do those reasons matter when the cause is the same?

[AMI88]

I haven't read all posts so sorry if my view is a bit repeatitive!!

I think for some people being either under or over weight is definitely a mental illness. I am a firm believer in some people being of that time of personality- whereby they become obsessive/addicted to certain habits, smoking, gambling, drug taking, food.

I also agree that certain events in peoples lives can trigger extreme behaviours as a way of coping. I lost my dad very unexpectedly and the trauma and grief was so powerful I don't remember much of last year!!

However, for whatever reason we find ourselves in these situations, only we have the power to stop it. Until you can truly recognise certain behaviours as unhealthy can you then address it. This means looking at what you do to yourself, so yes it needs to start with buying the right food, cooking smaller portions, and exercising more. For most overweight people that is enough.

For those who need more support there is counselling and advice available through GP. We live in a very judging society, rather than it getting you down, use it as a vehicle to prove people wrong!

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

back2 yes that makes perfect sense. Feeling like there is something missing, like a hole in my life. Trying to fill that hole with emotional happiness isn't possible, so I fill it with food instead, only it's never full.

[vicmackie]

It's interesting to wonder what you'd have tried to fill the void with if you'd not been born into a culture where so food is so abundant and so readily available, though, right? I agree with whoever said that the eating is a symptom as opposed to the problem in its own right. I wonder how people who live in societies that aren't as saturated in calories as ours deal with their emotional pain (I think I sound like I'm being sarcastic but I'm not!)

[Penguin0fMadagascar]

I haven't read the whole thread, so apologies if this has already been mentioned, but there's a chapter on this subject in Caitlin Moran's book "How to be a Woman" (it's the one titled "I Am Fat!), and I thought this was a really interesting take on the mental state of someone who compulsively overeats;

"Overeating is the addiction of choice of carers, and that's why it's come to be regarded as the lowest-ranking of all addictions. It's a way of f*ing yourself up whilst still remaining fully functional, because you have to. Fat people aren't indulging in the "luxury" of their addiction making them useless, chaotic or a burden. Instead, they are slowly self-destructing in a way that doesn't inconvenience anyone. All the quietly eating mums. All the Kit-Kats in office drawers. All the unhappy moments, late at night, caught only in the fridge-light.

I sometimes wonder if the only way we'll get around to properly considering overeating is if it does come to take on the same, perverse, rock'n'roll cool of other addictions. Perhaps it's time for women to finally stop being secretive about their vices and start treating them like all other addicts treat their habits instead. Coming into the office looking raddled, sighing, "Man, I was on the shepherd's pie last night like you wouldn't believe. I had, like, MASH in my EYEBROWS by 10pm, I was on a total mince rush!"

I liked this - I can definitely relate.

[CarpetBagger]

Yes I agree esp now its all coming out how addictive sugar is etc ( like crack)....

I feel everything is against you if you want to loose weight...

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Nicole-people used to drink and smoke,a lot.

[ithoughtofitfirst]

YANBU

It definitely is more than just "oh just eat less"

I really feel for you. In my depression I adopted so many habits (including comfort food but just not to a problematic extent) like wanting to stay curled up on the sofa, googling articles about my illness, picking the skin around my cuticles until they bled. People would always chime in with the unhelpful comments like 'no wonder youre depressed you havent left the house in days'. Well. NO SHIT.

The only thing that worked for me in the end was CBT. But do it for yourself. Not for ignorant people poking their nose in your business. Don't listen to stupid people.

Xxx

[ToysRLuv]

I have had dysthymia or depression for most of my life. I have also suffered from both anorexia and, for a short while afterwards, BED. I have now suffered from bulimia on and off for 12 years. All of these are just different sides of the same pretty crappy MH coin.

[lljkk]

ime, the people who most oppose the idea that fat people have a mental health problem are fat people. They don't want to see themselves as mentally ill. That's the biggest hurdle to what OP has said. The people who most need to believe it don't want to hear it.