Its a friends birthday coming up, we don't see so much of her since she has moved so we are throwing her a small party as she is visiting.
As usual, the costs seem to be going well over what I thought it would be and I keep seeing the discussions after they have been had and agreed by some of the others.
I have agreed what I am contributing for the cake and couple of other bits, I have agreed what things I am bringing. Some others are making something (that was the understanding it was their present), now they are saying that if that is their present, friend won't get much else so are we all contributing to this then getting our own presents as well, plus what else are we contributing for the other bits that need getting (decorations etc). Someone has suggested we add up what everyone has spent then split the cost between us all. I have already said that I am eating first so will not be eating there, therefore I am not paying towards the food (the only food I will be eating is the stuff I am taking).
People are spending whatever they like, then expecting its all going to be added up then split between us. I can't do this. We are skint at the moment. We are applying for a mortgage and saving everything we can, we have been having problems getting the mortgage so have had to clear both credit cards before we apply, its DPs birthday so I have bought his presents, DD has 3 parties this week, DD also has a school trip I need to pay for this week. Friends party is before I get paid so I literally have what is in my purse (about £9) and a tenner in the bank to get her present. I still need to get DPs card.
I can pay all my essential bits (DPs birthday and kids stuff) but I do not need the added costs of what my friends are planning. I have already said what I was paying and I thought that was that but now they are changing it again. I messaged (after I had read all the messages between them) reiterating what I was contributing costs wise, what I was bringing and that if we were getting separate presents as well then I won't be contributing to the made present as I couldn't afford it.
Unfortunately, they know I have savings, I received a sum of money last year but now the mortgage rules have changed, we are having to use every penny to get a house (and we have had to adjust what we can buy because of this). I can't dip into it and we have to add to it for a little while longer in order to afford to buy. This is a massive priority for us at the moment but I don't think it is seen like that, I think they think I have loads of money but I am just being tight which is not the case.
AIBU to have said what I did and not want to contribute further (because I don't actually have any more this week)?