AIBU.... hoarding... Light hearted

[TheMuppetsIsWhereIShouldBe]

So I'm watching hoarders buried alive and a 16 year old has turned her bedroom into a dump in her mum's house, they're trying to clean up and she's swearing at her telling her to get out of her room etc.

AIBU to think if I was her mother I'd just send her out for the day and clean up her room regardless of what she said in the fact that it's her mothers house not hers! She breaks picture frames and smashes holes in the walls when she's annoyed but they've let it get so bad she's had to create a "bridge" to get from the door to her bed which doesn't even have a sheet on

By the sounds of it, it would take more than a day!

Presumably she is getting help for MH problems?

turns out her DB died when he was 4 she was 6 so she goes around taking things that the parents haven't managed to nail to the floor or put a lock on. I just couldn't live like that. the mess would drive me insane even if I couldn't see it through her door.

I saw that episode and know that you will also know this girl has long rooted emotional issues that triggered her hoarding- this should explain why her mum cant just go in and clean it up. The mess is the symptom, the emotional issues are what need 'cleaned up' before the mess can be touched on.

What you have suggested is the equivalent of saying just force feed an anorexic sufferer. Surely you can see why that shouldnt happen?

STOP I'm tuning in and out whilst on MN and not all the way in as you'll see by my pp

however why didn't the parents get counselling for her instead of letting her turn her room into a dump?

Maybe they didnt know how to deal with it. Maybe they thought they could mange her themselves. Maybe they were in denial. Maybe they werent ready to deal with it themselves after losing their son. Maybe lots of reasons.

well "not being ready" isn't fair on their DD. If my son started filling his room I would of sought out some help before he had gotten to the point where he'd have to build a bridge to get to his bed or before he couldn't open his door.

You can see that she is hoarding, it's not easily missed unless they never ever went in her room. Also she keeps saying those things are hers when in fact they've said she goes round the house taking other peoples things to put in her room, so they're not hers and why haven't the other people taken them back

How many children have you buried? How many grieving spouses and children have you had to support and deal with amidst your own grief? If i remember correctly the father is actually her stepfather so i am assuming her mother was also dealing with a relationship breakdown aswell as her grief and the effect that had on her daughter. How much experience of all that do you have that makes you so sure of how you would act?

Also, i said maybe they werent ready to deal with it and maybe lots of reasons. I didnt say the reason was that they werent ready.

I've lost one child by my ex dp which left me in hospital for a week whilst being left to deal with it all on my own and raise a toddler whom wasn't my ex DP's a couple of months ago. so I do have experience of losing a child and having to carry on.

So I know how I did act and how I dealt with it! as much as I wanted to hide in my room I couldn't let myself get like that. Like I wouldn't let my DS get like that! I would intervene before I had to nail things down and lock cupboards

Well then i am amzed you would be so judgemental about how another mother deals with her grief, if that was even the factor involved in delaying her daughter's help.

Surely you are aware that grief affects people in different ways?

Of course I'm fully aware how grief effects different people.

However you're telling me you'd let your DD go around taking everybody's things and making her room into a death trap because nobody was ready to help her grieve/mange her yourself/In denial.

I'm saying I wouldn't for one, I would notice if my DS started taking things and his room had turned into a dumping ground, before it'd got to that point. I'd get him to counselling/therapy as well.

I didn't see the programme offer her

However you're telling me you'd let your DD go around taking everybody's things and making her room into a death trap because nobody was ready to help her grieve/mange her yourself/In denial.

Really? Where did I tell you that?

It's easy to judge people for not having reacted in exactly the way you think the ought to have, especially with the benefit of hindsight. What we don't know is how your route would have worked out in their circumstances.