Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to expect DD to walk to and BACK from school

32 replies

ScoutFinchMockingbird · 23/06/2014 08:38

DD (3.1) is starting Foundation stage at the local school in Sept. It is a 15 min walk at my pace and 25 mins at her pace. She is perfectly capable of walking there. I know this because there's a playground nearby we walk to regularly. She is motivated to walk to this playground with promises of good times to come. However, she usually moans furiously about walking back after 30-40 mins at the playground because she's "tired" (read "it is boring and there is nothing to motivate her").
When she starts school, I have every intention of walking her there, but AIBU to expect her to walk home? She will have been there all day for 3 of the days, until about 5.45, as I work and am using wrap-around care. Thoughts?

OP posts:

MajesticWhine · 23/06/2014 08:43

I think YANBU, you can give it a try. She will probably be tired, and darker winter days won't help. I have a slightly shorter walk than that to and from school with my 4yo and a scooter makes it a whole lot easier, because I just hold her hand and tug her along.

Xcountry · 23/06/2014 08:43

Nah, I would make her walk too.

Doingakatereddy · 23/06/2014 08:44

Sounds too much for a 3yo. I used pushchair until DS got to 4 and weather improved.

Long day for her in wrap round and you'll get home quicker (and without arguments)

Littleoaktree · 23/06/2014 08:46

At a similar age ds1 was doing a slightly shorter (10mins my pace) walk to nursery and back. Yes coming back was a nuisance to start with because he was tired, bored etc but I found that if we mixed it up then it became more fun for him and he forgot about the fact he was just walking home - eg let's race to the next lamp post/bin, who can spot a red flower/car/front door etc. After a while he got used to it and it wasn't an issue any more.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 23/06/2014 08:48

YANBU to try it, but it might be a "pick your battles" time - making her walk after a full day just might not be worth the stress (for both of you). My 3.2 year old does a 4.5 -5 hour day and is good for nothing for an hour or so afterwards (though he won't sleep), though he perks up after food and "down time" - they are tired (mentally more than physically) after a day in a group environment at that age - and really right up to age 6 or 7 IMO (though obviously not too tired for a 15 min walk at 6 or 7, but it impacts behaviour etc.)

I'd be prepared to shoulder carry (depending on whether you have bags) or take a buggy or scooter for return jopurney - but try it a few times and see how it goes...

NickiFury · 23/06/2014 08:48

She probably IS tired to be fair after running round for 40 minutes. My 3 year old nephew is out for his nap like a light after a 10 minute scoot to the park, play for an hour and to be honest struggles to do the scoot back. He doesn't whinge but stops a lot and tells me he's tired. I bet she'll be knackered after a day at school.

Iggly · 23/06/2014 08:52

She will be tired. Mine was and needed a snack as soon as he got out. I would carry for a bit or let him hop in the pushchair/buggy board but he'd soon hop out again if he saw his friends. As they got older they find it easier.

Iggly · 23/06/2014 08:52

MrsWinnibago · 23/06/2014 08:55

At 3 I would let her go on a little bike or something. Mine had a 10 minute walk at that age and the walk back was a nightmare of moaning and sittign down on the pavement. They get SO tired.

SilasGreenback · 23/06/2014 08:55

When ds1 started full days at nearly 5 he was shattered. He did the walk to and from school but was sleeping so deeply at night he started wetting the bed after being dry for 2 years. I took him back in the buggy (it was a double with little brother in, so he hopped in and out depending on how he felt).

Tmrgl · 23/06/2014 09:11

NU at all. It would be much worse to teach her it is better to drive such a short distance. Mine came to love the walk especially as their independence grew and they could walk without me.

Original poster

ScoutFinchMockingbird · 23/06/2014 09:14

Thanks all. I have considered the scooter, but DD rides it so energetically (she really hurls herself into life and every activity) that I think it might just make a bad situation worse. Good idea about the shoulder ride and looking for things. I do that at the moment e.g. chase mummy's shadow; pick a leaf; look for ladybirds etc. Not so easy in the dark winter nights though. As you say, I'll give it a try and see what happens.

OP posts:

MehsMum · 23/06/2014 09:20

YANBU but see how it goes - it's a long day for a little kid. You could try the scooter - my kids scootered to school for years and it didn't half speed things up. Getting them into the habit of walking/scootering/biking when they're young pays dividends later: I now have teenagers who walk back a mile from the station in the rain without thinking twice about it.

Pyrrhagena · 23/06/2014 09:24

I don't think that is at all unreasonable, although I would buy her decent boots/rain coat for wet weather. I expected DS to do this from the age of 2.5 and it was rarely an issue. I've also had problems with him coming home from the park, but at the end of the day at nursery it was really not an issue. He wanted to be at home and only occasionally did I have to point out that if he wanted food then we had to go home.

But it all depends on how much walking you do day to day. If you car everywhere, then not. We walk everywhere, I have no access to a car during the week, the buses generally do not go where we want to go or it's just as far to walk from the closest bus stop as from the house. So, my DC are used to walking.

crazykat · 23/06/2014 09:33

When my dd2 started nursery she had to walk to school in the morning (about 15-20 minutes) then he had to walk home at lunch time, then back to school at 3 to pick up dd1 and ds1 and home again.

She was ratty an tired the first couple of weeks when we had to go for dd1 and ds1 but she soon got used to it as it had to be done.

I found it helped to take her a treat when I pick her up, some raisins or 10p pack of haribo. She eats the treat walking home and by the time she's finished we're almost home.

Minesril · 23/06/2014 09:37

One of the things my dad taught me, which I am incredibly appreciative of, is that walking to places (including school) will not kill me. And while I'm sure I whined at the time, it's turned me into an adult who is never afraid of a good long walk. It's one of my hobbies. Sometimes I will get off the tube two stops early after work, meet my husband and walk the half hour home chatting and just enjoying each other's company.

I'm afraid it's also turned me into one of those smug adults who never saw the point in learning to drive and feel mildly contemptuous of those who drive all of two minutes to get to the shop.

Iggly · 23/06/2014 12:02

I'm afraid it's also turned me into one of those smug adults who never saw the point in learning to drive and feel mildly contemptuous of those who drive all of two minutes to get to the shop

I was one of those but now drive! I much prefer relying on my own legs though to get places.

Trollsworth · 23/06/2014 12:04

Snack as soon as she gets out of school.

drivenfromdistraction · 23/06/2014 12:11

Gosh, I don't expect a just-3yo to walk 25 mins to and from school. Mine has to come on our daily school run, about the same distance I think (nearly a mile in our case). I always put her in the pushchair/on the buggy board, because we haven't got time to faff about at her pace. On the way back in the morning, she can walk home if she wants - but I don't make her if she doesn't want to.

I've never expected mine to walk the school/nursery run at that age. When they entered reception, they started using the scooter but could still hop on the buggy board (I had a younger child in pram) if they wanted. My eldest is in year 1 now, and is full of energy, can cycle/scoot/run alongside me. My middle is in reception and gets very tired, so he sometimes gets on the buggy board. And my youngest usually goes in the pushchair (she gets lots of exercise the rest of the day). On her nursery days, she's pretty tired on the way home too.

I think the repetitiveness of the journey is quite long and boring for them to walk when they're very small, and as long as they're gradually increasing their stamina for it (mental as much as physical) , there's no need to push it.

Hellokittycat · 23/06/2014 12:15

I would expect my dd of similar age to walk there and back from a normal 3 hr pre school session, but if walking there first thing, being at nuresry all day until nearly 6pm (almost bedtime!) she will be hungry and exhausted. Id let her ride in a buggy or pull her on a scooter or something until shes built up her stamina a bit seeing as she isnt even at nusrery at the moment...

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 23/06/2014 12:18

I'd make her walk there but maybe put her in a bike seat/sling/pushchair for the walk home if she whinges.

RiverTam · 23/06/2014 12:18

I think you're being rather mean dismissing her tiredness after the playground - so she's already walked there for 25 mins, hurled herself around the playground for 40 mins and then walks another 25 mins back? Of course she's tired! And after 3 hours of pre-school, she'll probably be tired again (especially if it's the morning and she hasn't had lunch).

I would see how it goes. She's really very little.

CheckpointCharlie · 23/06/2014 12:19

My dd (5) walks to school, similar distance, but often is super tired and complains about walking home, it's easier to drive her and I am on my way back from work so have the car anyway.

Can you see how,it goes and then adapt accordingly?

NynaevesSister · 23/06/2014 12:21

Far too tired after a day at nursery. At first parents evening I found out why. It seemed he was obsessed with pushing the plastic pedal car up and down the playground with his classmates in it and would do so for at least two hours most afternoons. He would come home and often fall asleep while eating his dinner.

I always walk everywhere and for a long time used a scooter - yes he would scoot about like a mad thing but when he was genuinely tired especially at end of long day out I could pull him along.

EssexGurl · 23/06/2014 12:21

DD was 4y4m when she started school. They did half days at first and we had to go back in the afternoon to collect her brother. Even having been used to full days at nursery she was exhausted and used to go in the buggy to do afternoon collection. We have a similar walk to you.

I think 3 is probably too young to walk as she will be surprisingly tired. A friend has just unilaterally binned all buggies for her 4y 3 m old DS. Dad has to carry him a lot as he can't walk that far.

You know your child but I think you will need to play by ear when she starts school.

Flip

1 2