Were you happy with your life when you were 30? Any advice?

[findingthehope]

Know I'm being a little unreasonable with how I feel on this one. I'm soon to turn 30, and feeling upset that this is the last summer in my twenties, and that I have nothing really to show for them. I have a broken engagement behind me, another love affair that nearly broke me. I don't think I have ever been really loved by a partner. I have no children, but hope to have them one day. I manage a chronic health condition that leaves me feeling like crap regularly, and had struggles with depression and eating disorders, which I'm now doing better at. My mum died six years ago, and I still miss her so much, and though I talk to my dad every week he left me and mum when I was small and we are not close.

Counselling has made me a bit more confident in myself, and as a result I'm seeing how carelessly a lot of people treat me, so I have stopped doing all the work with 'friends' and now as a result am usually alone.

The best thing in my life is that I have recently started a good job that I feel I can excel in and hopefully make good money in as I become experienced.

What was your life like at 30? Did you have everything sorted out? Had you done lots of amazing things eg travelling?

Feel like I've wasted a lot of time and put energy into all the wrong things. I feel unreasonable because I have an education, a job, and am quite young in a way and hopefully have time to change things, and also because I do feel the things I have gone through have matured me and given me insight into a big range of life experiences and hardships and how to overcome them. But this weekend I'm feeling alone and forgotten about and totally pointless as a person, and it feels awful.

Please share your experiences of when you were able to turn your life around???

I got married a day before I turned 30, 12 years later he cheated on me and no I am single mum with 2 kids: 14 and 16 yo.

I was working at a minimum pay job (3.50/ph), had nothing to my name.

Since then I did postgraduate degree, got a job and am enjoying interesting career.

I grew up as a person, and a bit wise and happier every year

I would never have known 18 years ago what my like is going to be like so can't you.

What you have is great foundation for your future - good career and an interesting job.
Look after your body, carry on with your counseling.
There's so much to see and learn ahead of you - get excited about it!
Try new things - visit new places, try new exercises, go to the theatre and museums!
Life is so much easier for singles now - there are lots of meetup groups, couchsurfing and places like MN where you can ask and get great advice.

18 years ago we had none of that and it was much tougher (I think anyway).

I hope you will get great strength from what people are sharing with you here and good luck! It is just round the corner!

finding I am sorry, I completely missed it that part of this is that you're going into this next phase of your life without your mother to talk to. I do think not having one's mother would certainly make it painful and more emotionally complicated to move from one stage of life to the next, and I think it's very natural that your thinking about getting older has been influenced by what you went through in your 20s. I know it was not recent but I am very sorry for your loss

I felt just like you aged 29. I dreaded turning 30. In reality, I'm 6 years in and loving my 30s. I'm so much more sure of myself and what I want out if life than I was in my 20s. And I eventually had the child I wondered if I'd ever have.

Shit, I hope it did not sound odd when I said "I know it was not recent." I only meant to recognize that it is still and always a huge loss.

30 was the absolute low point. Bad relationship I had pinned my hopes on ended, breakdown, job nightmares, money worries, loneliness.

The only good thing about it was that the crisis was so awful it forced me to confront problems and change my life. Things are so much better now.

30 is often a turning point. Don't get too worried-you're still young.

No I wasn't happy. I had horrific PND , a 1 year old and a 5 year old.

I'm just 33 now though and much much happier even though I am about to go back to studying to start a new career eventually once dc are in school.

No I wasn't happy. I had horrific PND , a 1 year old and a 5 year old.

I'm just 33 now though and much much happier even though I am about to go back to studying to start a new career eventually once dc are in school.

I was unhappy when I turned 30. In an abusive relationship, no children. I dumped him after my birthday, made a few changes in my life, joining Match.com and met my now DH at 32. I am now 37, married, have a DD2 and DS5months after suffering infertility and 3 miscarriages. I am a SAHM and very very happy with my life.

Make a few positive steps to achieving what you want and it will all come good. Hugs xx

It's just numbers. It's arbitrary.

On my 30th birthday, I was nursing a three-week-old baby alone at home while my then-'d'H was out getting shitfaced and spending my maternity pay on lapdances.

Thankfully, life got a LOT better. My thirties were a time of massive change and growth for me, some tough stuff but all ultimately to the good. I'm now happy in a great relationship, an interesting job, loads of lovely friends...I thought my life was over at 30, and I was so wrong. Ten years on and I'm in a really good place.

I still don't have 'everything sorted out' though - does anyone?