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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

neighbour's boyfriend and mess

62 replies

matildasquaredy · 22/06/2014 13:30

So I live in a terraced house. We all have little patio/garden spaces in the backs of our houses, with a shared sort of alley. My neighbour on the end terrace has a boyfriend (more like, gentleman friend, as they're about 50) who stays on weekends with two little dogs. She's been here about six weeks, nice lady.

This morning I came back from the garden centre and went around the backs of our houses, straight to my garden. I was carrying pots and a trellis. Gentleman Friend was standing on the path with the two little dogs on leads, clearly waiting for neighbour to come out so they could go for a walk.

I get to my garden and see that there are two fresh dog messes right there. I cleaned them up and--trust me, they were brand new.

It was right on the tip of my tongue to say, "Is this you? You gonna clean this up?"

But then I thought, no, surely not. I mean... no. And if it were him he's clearly psychotic so speaking won't do anything.

He stood there and watched me clean the dog mess, then neighbour came out and they went on their walk.

The dogs were on leads when I happened to come around the corner, and my garden was out of their lead-range, though maybe four feet away. But who else could it have been? It's a dead-end alley and no one walks there unless they're coming to one of our houses.

I suppose I could have said, "Oh my god, did you see who did this?" But I was just so freaked out.

I'm going to wait till he leaves tonight and have a word with neighbour. I'll just say it like, "I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I can't think of any other possibility..."

The other option is to just decide it was a random one-off and wait till it happens again.

No, surely best to just address it today?

OP posts:
usualsuspectt · 22/06/2014 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KeatsiePie · 22/06/2014 20:10

Perhaps "leofman" would have been more elegant.

matildasquaredy · 22/06/2014 20:10

I dearly love the term Fancy Man! Why don't we use that anymore?

"Boyfriend" for anyone over 25 sounds weird to me #pedant
"Partner"--okay, kind of functional
"Gentleman Friend"--charming
"Gentleman Lover"--I wish I could pull that off.

All those phrases went through my head when I was sitting there at immigration all those years ago and the lady asked me whom I was visiting.

"Well is this someone you're going to marry?" she insisted.

"Yeah, ask me at the end of the visit!" I thought.

OP posts:
matildasquaredy · 22/06/2014 20:10

LEOFMAN!

OP posts:
IamRechargingthankYou · 22/06/2014 20:12

There is a world of difference 'luv' between outrage and unreasonable.
An angry post and one merely pointing out your unreasonableness/unreasonabilitiousness. Names given to male lovers and friends are not restricted to age-related groups. When I was a lot younger I had plenty of boyfriends of the same age that were gentlemen too. Maybe you didn't.

KeatsiePie · 22/06/2014 20:12

I really think it has that certain something.

matildasquaredy · 22/06/2014 20:13

There is a world of difference 'luv' between outrage and unreasonable.

That's a certain text.

When I was a lot younger I had plenty of boyfriends of the same age that were gentlemen too. Maybe you didn't.

I'm sure my experience couldn't compare. Mazel tov.

OP posts:
KeatsiePie · 22/06/2014 20:17
Grin
SirChenjin · 22/06/2014 20:17

Good luck OP - having challenged reminded several dog owners that they need to clean up after their dogs and had various "wasn't me", "fuck off", "do you own this place", and "it's biodegradable, and once these horse owners pick up after their animals I'll pick up after mine" as well as silence as they ignore me and walk away, it seems that the kind of owner who does this isn't the kind of owner to go "oh God, you're right, that was remiss of me, let me clean it up immediately, so sorry"

CombineBananaFister · 22/06/2014 20:34

Glad that it all worked out. Am a bit perplexed at the anger tonight tbh Hmm for something that seems so, well, blah.

Also, agree there are those who have no problem being outspoken when wronged, which is great, but do secretly think there is small potion out there who claim when anonymous to be all 'hardass and witty comebacks' but actually in RL are all just a bit mumbley under their breath as they walk away like me and WISH just they'd said it Grin

kentishgirl · 23/06/2014 07:32

'"Clearly psychotic." Leaving faeces out in plain view, for others to "experience," is psychotic. There's no other word for it.'

Anti-social is the word for it.

Psychotic is no more the word for it than saying its 'clearly diabetic' behaviour.

vicmackie · 23/06/2014 08:00

This might help OP. You just need to figure out a way to get it into him.

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