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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

poxy laundry

9 replies

oxfordcomma75 · 22/06/2014 09:20

Background. Virtually a sahm to 2 primary aged dc and a co sleeping breastfed 20 month old. 2 primary aged dc manage to trash uniform daily. In addition seem to do same to cubs uniform etc etc. Toddler obviously needs clean clothes daily as do I. This week alone I have had to change bedding twice due to leaky nappies. Now don't get me wrong I try to iron as little as possible to make task easier.
I just get so pissed off that dh and dc seem to think it is exclusively my job to do it and all the housework and childcare and bedtime, bathing etc etc.
Just this week I have left clean laundry taken off line on stairgate to go upstairs. Dh walked straight passed it. I washed main bed bedding but mattress protector wasn't dry so left it on bed to be put on. Dh dumps it on the floor when he wnt to bed. I paired some socks on main bed but didn't finish them. Again dh just dumps them in laundry basket. Today was the last straw. At the moment I have been washing older dcs clothes in preparation for toddler dd to use them. So quite abit of laundry is in the cot. Dh wants to take down cot and set up toddler bed to try and stop me and dd cosleeping. I said well the laundry in there needs sorting first.
So what does dh do? He pisses off into the study to play computer games leaving me to care for our dc and somehow magically catch up on laundry at the same time.
He was also responsible for packing clothes for one ds and went and brought him new socks as the ones in the drawers weren't paired.
I have just lost the plot with dh. Going through menopause and feeling crap has not helped.
Was I unreasonable to tell him to get off his lazy arse and be a parent/grown up and help? In a way I know probably lazy arse was a bit strong as he works hard at work during the week and earns a good salary which enable me to sahm / run a very small business.
But I work hard too. I was also awake twice in night due to poxy freezer alarm going off.

OP posts:
oxfordcomma75 · 22/06/2014 09:22

Sorry he does cook maybe one meal at weekend and does diy/garden but rest is down to me.

OP posts:
Mumof3xox · 22/06/2014 09:24

You need to tell him

Also involve your older dc?

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 22/06/2014 09:31

YANBU. On a weekend you should share what needs doing. He needs a kick up the backside. How old are your DC? You could get them helping.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 22/06/2014 09:32

How did he respond to you losing your temper with him?

Did he admit he could help more?

Arrowfanatic · 22/06/2014 09:37

My DH is the same. I spent ages ironing yesterday, left his clothes on the bed to put away when we went upstairs. He got into the bedroom before me and just dumped it in a massive heap on the floor. When I pointed out to him how I'd ironed it and it was left there to put away he threw a temper and told me I had attitude and stormed out saying he couldn't stand to be around me anymore Shock I literally wash and iron almost daily and am never fully caught up but he'll think nothing of putting clean folded washing back in the laundry basket and piling dirty clothes back on top so I have to few re-wash it as it stinks. Instead of just putting his stuff away. But then it's me he moans out when he runs out of underwear.

WooWooOwl · 22/06/2014 09:42

You need to ask for his help before you lose your temper. Unless he is completely useless, he will help if he knows what he needs to do.

I used to get frustrated with DH not doing simple things with never ending pile of laundry, but then I get just as frustrated when he does it differently to how I have been organising it, so it's easier all round just to spell it out.

oxfordcomma75 · 22/06/2014 09:58

I have asked before and allI got was an argument. Ie well you would have time to do it if you didn't yada yada. Well today he did put away a few bits that didn't need ironing. Well baby steps.
However, he than came down to see me struggling to change toddler dd and pointed out that middle dc who has some sen needed changing before disappearing upstairs with a screwdriver.

Ok, not great but going to do some diy. Came up to get fresh clothes for ds to find he was using screwdriver to open poxy lego.

OP posts:
oxfordcomma75 · 22/06/2014 10:00

Older dc should do more. Occasionally they do help but it's a battle to motivate them. Maybe time to cancel pocket money and payper task.

OP posts:
Laquitar · 22/06/2014 10:03

You need to buy some baskets with two seperate sections for colour and white clothes. Used towels on top of the stairs. Every morning each of you bring downstairs a section of his basket or the towels. When the kettle is boiling he/the dcs put the clothes in the w/m. After few weeks it becomes a routine and each person does it without nagging, it is part of the morning routine, like brushing your teeth. It works for us.

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